FEMA Genie

[mailman]

FEMA GENIE

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the
Texas plains without water. His horse has already
died of thirst.

He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has
breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees
an object sticking out of the sand
several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and
discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.

He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no
ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA (Federal
Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray
dress.

There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a
pencil tucked behind one ear. 'Well,
cowboy,' says the genie.. 'You know how I
work....You
have three wishes.'

'I'm not falling for this,' said the cowboy....
'I'm not going to trust a FEMA
genie.'

'What do you
have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it
looks like you're a goner anyway!'

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that
the genie is right.

'OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food
and drink.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis
he has ever seen, an he is surrounded with jugs of wine
and platters of delicacies.

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish?'

'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest
dreams.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests
filled with rare gold coins and precious gems..
'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.
Better make it a good one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says...
'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women
will want and need me.'

***
POOF***

He was turned into a tampon..

The moral of the story:

If the government is going to help
you... you can bet that there's a string
attached.