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nyctoytimer · 24 February 2021, 01:47 AM

Murder @ Wal-Mart
So here's the story. . .
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed..
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........
The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested..
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...
(You're going to hate me for this ... )
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WAL-MART!'

SFmedic13 · 24 February 2021, 05:39 PM

Good one.....didn't expect this.

Contused · 24 February 2021, 10:55 PM

Jster · 25 February 2021, 09:32 AM

That's a classic! I must have first heard that about 40 years ago.

ltmgeller · 25 February 2021, 11:13 AM

Ny325 · 25 February 2021, 05:15 PM

Did they sell out of ARTIE CHOKES? Lol.

riverline3 · 25 February 2021, 06:12 PM

WatchDanny1 · 20 March 2021, 04:26 AM

hahaha

24 February 2021, 01:47 AM	#1
nyctoytimer "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2019 Location: nyc Watch: Tudor mini sub Posts: 53	Walmart Murder @ Wal-Mart So here's the story. . . Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........ The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ... (You're going to hate me for this ... ) 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WAL-MART!'

25 February 2021, 11:13 AM	#5
ltmgeller 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Real Name: Mike Location: New York Watch: Rolex Posts: 22,432	__________________ Oh, look at the time... Official Member: 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas International GTG 2019

24 February 2021, 05:39 PM	#2
SFmedic13 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2017 Real Name: SANTIAGO Location: San Antonio Texas Watch: None Currently Posts: 581	Good one.....didn't expect this.

24 February 2021, 10:55 PM	#3
Contused "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2016 Location: UK Posts: 274

25 February 2021, 09:32 AM	#4
Jster 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Feb 2018 Location: California Posts: 1,250	That's a classic! I must have first heard that about 40 years ago.

25 February 2021, 05:15 PM	#6
Ny325 "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2019 Location: Traffic Watch: DW-5600BB Posts: 2,886	Did they sell out of ARTIE CHOKES? Lol.

25 February 2021, 06:12 PM	#7
riverline3 Banned Join Date: Jan 2019 Location: usa Posts: 104

20 March 2021, 04:26 AM	#8
WatchDanny1 Banned Join Date: Jan 2021 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 28	hahaha

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