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#1 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: nyc
Watch: Tudor mini sub
Posts: 53
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The Quotes of Steven Wright:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 3 - Half the people you know are below average. 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. 10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met. 12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? 13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 14 - If everythng seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. 18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. 19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good. 20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 22 - What happens if you get scard half to death twice? 23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." 24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name 25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarsm; to steal from many is research. 30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. 33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. 34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work? |
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#2 |
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Real Name: Max
Location: Toronto
Watch: Exp 1, DJ Tuxedo
Posts: 2,460
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Great quotes. He is fantastic.
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#3 |
2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: United States
Watch: Rolex/Tudor
Posts: 1,421
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Good ones. Loved his deadpan delivery.
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The Times They Are A-Changin' - Bob Dylan |
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#4 |
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Real Name: Mike
Location: New York
Watch: Rolex
Posts: 22,088
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#5 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: FL
Posts: 173
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Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
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#6 |
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Real Name: Eddie
Location: Australia
Watch: A few.
Posts: 37,285
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That kicked off my Sunday.
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#7 |
2024 Pledge Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: 33139/95460
Posts: 1,346
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“I may not be much, but I’m all I think about”
S. Wright |
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#8 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Real Name: Michael
Location: RTP, NC, USA
Watch: ♕& Ω
Posts: 5,179
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I saw him recently on a late-night talk show, pushing a book I think. He's all shaggy now with a big beard and looks like a kook, but he hasn't lost his unique attitude and presentation. Just more mature, I guess.
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Enjoy life - it has an expiration date. Disclaimer: Please note that the avatar is not an accurate representation of how I look. The camera adds 10 pounds... |
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#9 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: Argetina
Posts: 9
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His quotes are too smart for us.
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