Rolex Submariner vs Omega PO - Ultimate review

[Rydal]

I'm sure this has been posted before but I came across it again recently and it still made me laugh. I think it was originally posted on TZ-UK back in 2008.


Rolex Submariner vs. Omega Planet Ocean:

I've been giving this a lot of thought recently, and with all the Rolex vs. Omega posts always cropping up, I decided to test these two brands based on some completely different criteria. Simply put:

Which one hurts the most when thrown at someone's head???

Now I know what you're thinking: who is this guy and what makes him an expert? And you're right. I'm just a guy who likes watches, and more to the point, likes to throw watches at people's heads. My guess is that there are a lot of readers out there just like me who might get some benefit by experiencing a layman's account. Sure, there are some of you who have been doing this for years, and can provide statistics and mathematical models to back up your claims, but I'm aiming (no pun intended) for more of a "real world" perspective. I'm targeting (sorry) they guy off the street who asks the simple question: "I'm walking along, I'm bored, I want to throw a watch at someone's head.... BUT WHICH ONE???"

For the answer to that, read on...

Construction:
The Seamaster feels a little heavier/more substantial than the Submariner. In theory, the added mass should contribute to higher terminal velocity and impact when thrown, causing more damage. HOWEVER, when the Submariner "serrated" bezel is taken into account, laceration potential must be considered as well. Each watch thrown with equal force will cause some degree of blunt force trauma, and the Omega holds the edge here based on its mass (and perhaps a slight aerodynamic advantage). But I don't think you can overlook the potential of a nasty gash from the Sub; you ALWAYS get bonus points for drawing blood. When you factor that in, construction is a basically a draw.
Advantage: EVEN

Accuracy:
Accuracy was tested at distances of 5 and 10 feet for each watch. The test subject, my cat, was duct taped to the floor and a total of 10 throws with each watch at each distance were recorded. Test results are as follows:

Omega - 5 feet: 8/10
Rolex - 5 feet: 8/10

Omega - 10 feet: 6/10
Rolex - 10 feet: 7/10

Based on the above results, one can see that measured accuracy differences between the two watches is negligible with the only difference being one more "hit" for Rolex at the 10 foot distance. I feel that this discrepancy is likely down to environmental variables more than anything else (squirmy test subject, wind conditions, etc.) Based on these facts, no appreciable difference in accuracy was observed.
Advantage: EVEN

Comfort:
No appreciable difference in the comfort level of the cat was detected. Reaction was predictable and repeatable for each successful throw.
Advantage: EVEN

Value:
Its hard to measure value scientifically, and to be honest, there are better, more accurate tools for the job. Pellet guns, slingshots, boomerangs - heck even rocks picked up off the street offer much more cost effective (and efficient) solutions to the problem. Still, as any WIS can attest, its not about "just getting the job done"; there are aesthetics to be considered. With that in mind, you can't help but overlook that for the same money, you could throw three Seamasters at someone's head for the price of one Submariner. In the context of this comparison, thats real value - I don't know where else in all of horology that you'll that much blunt-force trauma bang-for-your-buck.
Advantage: Seamaster

Prestige:
A Rolex is a Rolex is a Rolex, or so they say. Lets face it, if you hit a stranger in the head with a Rolex, they're going to notice. "Holy s&*^, someone just beaned me with a ROLEX!!!"; its not something they'll soon forget. Almost everyone is familiar to some extent with the Rolex brand and seeing one hurling towards your head at high velocities is going to get your attention! Conversely, unless thrown at a WIS, an Omega is just not going to make the same impression, no matter how hard (or how many times) you try. Its here that the value proposition must be cast aside. You can throw 20 Seamasters at someone's head and all your going to do it make them angrier. Where as a subject may be tempted to KEEP the Rolex you threw, my guess is that at some point, they're going to start throwing the Seamasters back at you.
Advantage: Rolex

Conclusion: Both the Submariner and the Seamaster are excellent timepieces that can easily be thrown at someone's head repeatedly and come back for more. In truth, very few of us will exploit either watches ultimate potential - the human body has its limits. Its takes a professional (think Major League Baseball pitchers) to truly get everything out of them. In the end, it all comes down to what is important to YOU. If you simply enjoy the act of throwing expensive timepieces at innocent bystanders, and you don't care what they think of you, the the value of the Omega is hard to beat. If, however, you're the kind of guy who likes to make a statement with your violence (and you know who you are) then the Rolex deserves a closer look. From a performance perspective, its a wash. You've all heard it before - "buy the one that speaks to you!!!"

Unless of course it actually SPEAKS to you. At that point you have bigger problems and shouldn't be throwing anything at anyone. Seek professional help.

[rolexsubdate]

waste of bandwidth ...

[padi56]

Originally Posted by rolexsubdate

waste of bandwidth ...

Agree and a complete waste of TRF bandwith too.

[phantom357]

What the.....? A few seconds of my life I wish I had back.

[JBat]

[spuds]

well dude I thought it was funny too......

[esm]

I'm a slow reader, I want my 5 mins back!!!!!!

[NYC6]

Sorry but

[Warnsboy]

Thought this would be meaningful! Is this an attempt to make the "Tosser Hall of Fame"?

[Sonny Crockett]

wow isn't there like a joke section here or something, wow

[R Fortenberry]

I must be easily entertained.

[scl6118]

sucks::argh :

[1000ftSub]

throw watches at peoples head.

[scl6118]

[sambb]

waste if time but satire is not for me

[hflee55]

i wish there is a time machine....

[kyle L]

I don't know whether to laugh, or to cry.

[Singslinger]

[mlehman]

I thought it was funny, thanks for the good laugh

I did get a good laugh out of the sour pusses on here also..lighten up a little guys

this was my favorite line
"Holy s&*^, someone just beaned me with a ROLEX!!!"

[1watchaholic]