Seamus and Patrick

[grizwold225]

Two Irish builders, Seamus and Patrick, are seated either side of a table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the 'suit'.
Pat: "I reckon he's an accountant".
Seamus: "No way - he's a stockbroker".
Pat: "He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!"

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Pat and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the 'suit' is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him:

Pat: "Excuse me...no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?"
Suit: "No offence taken. I'm a Logical Scientist by profession"
Pat: "Oh, what's that then?"
Suit: "I'll try to explain by example...Do you have a goldfish at home?"
Pat: "Er..mmm..well yeah, I do as it happens"
Suit: "Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?"
Pat: "It's in a pond"
Suit: "Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?"
Pat: "As it happens, yes I have got a big garden"
Suit: "Well then, it's logical to assume that, in town, if you have a large garden then you have a large house?"
Pat: "As it happens, I've got a five bedroom house...built it myself!"
Suit: "Well, given that you've built a five bedroom house, it's logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself, and that you are quite probably married? And with a family?"
Pat: "Yes, I am married, I live with my wife and four children"
Suit: "Well then, it's logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?"
Pat: "Yep, five times a week!"
Suit: "Well then, it's logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often?"
Pat: "Do what? Not me, mate"
Suit: "Well there you are then. That's logical science at work!"
Pat: "How's that then?"
Suit: "Well, from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!"
Pat: "I see, that's pretty impressive...thanks mate"

Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate.

Seamus: "I see the 'suit' was in there. Did you ask him what he does?"
Pat: "Yep, he's a Logical Scientist"
Seamus: "What's that then?"
Pat: "I'll try to explain. Do you have a goldfish?"
Seamus: "Nope"
Pat: "Well then, you're a wanker"

[FeelingTheBlues]

[nickb732]

Hahahahha

[cop414]

[Hairdude1]

Ha!

[Bangel]

[swatty]

[77T]

[malarky_hk]

That was funny!

[sebastien1975]

Thanks for sharing

[ELITEVIDEOGAMES]

thats pretty funny! good one

[psv]

Good one.

[BNA/LION]

[rigato]

hahahahahahahaah XD

[Psmith]

[Jollibee]