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25 November 2023, 02:04 PM | #1 |
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A man rushed to see his doctor and, in a panic, exclaimed "Doc! As you can see I shrunk to 3'6" overnight. Please help!"
The doctor calmly replied, "Don't worry, you'll just have to be a little patient."
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Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so |
27 November 2023, 02:53 AM | #2 |
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I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.
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23 December 2023, 10:56 AM | #3 |
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26 December 2023, 08:39 AM | #4 |
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I was on Amazon the other day and ordered both a chicken and an egg.
I'll let you know.
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Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so |
27 December 2023, 01:45 AM | #5 |
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I was washing the car with my son the other day when my wife angrily shouted at me that I should be using a sponge.
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Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so |
24 January 2024, 07:34 AM | #6 |
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Oh, look at the time... Official Member: 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas International GTG 2019 |
27 November 2023, 02:54 AM | #7 |
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Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
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21 December 2023, 08:37 AM | #8 |
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What did the buffalo say when his boy went off to college?
Bison.
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Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender |
6 December 2023, 09:24 AM | #9 |
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Real Name: Zack
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What goes in hard and dry but comes out wet and soft? GUM
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12 December 2023, 06:34 AM | #10 |
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what did the evil chicken lay? Deviled Eggs
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31 December 2023, 08:37 AM | #11 |
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I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my
Hispanic friends. It means a lot to them. |
2 January 2024, 02:02 AM | #12 |
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Real Name: Kevin
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Wife: I'm pregnant
Me: Hi pregnant, I'm dad! Wife: No, you're not
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Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so |
6 January 2024, 03:54 PM | #13 |
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Real Name: Kevin
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Me: Your mother's been living here for 5 years, don't you think it's time she got a place of her own?
Wife: My mother? I thought she was your mother!
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Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so |
25 March 2024, 06:49 AM | #14 |
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28 March 2024, 01:22 AM | #15 |
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ouch hahaha
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8 January 2024, 03:27 AM | #16 |
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Real Name: Kevin
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I think this is a great joke but I've tried to use it a few times now and all I'm getting are akward "that's nice" etc. Sheesh.
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Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so |
2 February 2024, 04:18 PM | #17 |
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You can't run through a campground you can only ran. Because it's past tents.
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4 February 2024, 12:16 AM | #18 |
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Our family recently found out that grandpa's addicted to Viagra.
Grandma's taking it pretty hard.
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Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender |
4 February 2024, 08:28 PM | #19 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
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4 February 2024, 01:22 AM | #20 |
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Real Name: Jerry
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
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A termite walks into a bar and Askes; Is the bartender here?
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"You, you and you, panic . . . the rest of you follow me!" Unknown Gunnery Sergeant, Vietnam 1966. Rolex, Sub 126610LN Omega Seamaster 300M Diver, Doxa Sub 200 Tudor Black Bay Bronze, Tudor Pelagos, (Blue). |
8 February 2024, 12:30 AM | #21 |
Banned
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Ha-Ha lol
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21 February 2024, 10:08 PM | #22 |
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I’ve started investing in stocks: Beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire. |
28 February 2024, 10:24 AM | #23 |
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Real Name: Greg
Location: Toronto
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What pronouns does chololate use?
Her/She |
29 February 2024, 01:53 PM | #24 |
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I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card fell out.
The cashier said, “Never mind.” |
4 March 2024, 12:53 PM | #25 |
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What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons |
5 March 2024, 09:02 PM | #26 |
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What did the bald man say when he got a comb on his birthday?
Thanks very much, I'll never part with it.
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Justified and Ancient |
15 March 2024, 02:33 AM | #27 |
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What has five toes and is not your foot?…..My foot.
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17 March 2024, 03:50 AM | #28 |
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Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover?
You shouldn’t press your luck. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons |
17 March 2024, 12:26 PM | #29 |
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
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Not a fan of Civil War jokes
They're General Lee not funny
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Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender |
18 March 2024, 07:10 PM | #30 |
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We were so poor when we were kids, one Christmas my Dad wrapped up an empty box & told me it was an Action Man deserter,,,,
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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