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Old 25 November 2023, 02:04 PM   #1
Ted Shred
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A man rushed to see his doctor and, in a panic, exclaimed "Doc! As you can see I shrunk to 3'6" overnight. Please help!"

The doctor calmly replied, "Don't worry, you'll just have to be a little patient."
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Old 27 November 2023, 02:53 AM   #2
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I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.
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Old 23 December 2023, 10:56 AM   #3
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Quote:
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I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.
Excellent
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Old 26 December 2023, 08:39 AM   #4
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I was on Amazon the other day and ordered both a chicken and an egg.

I'll let you know.
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Old 27 December 2023, 01:45 AM   #5
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I was washing the car with my son the other day when my wife angrily shouted at me that I should be using a sponge.
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Old 24 January 2024, 07:34 AM   #6
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Quote:
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I was on Amazon the other day and ordered both a chicken and an egg.

I'll let you know.
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Old 27 November 2023, 02:54 AM   #7
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Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
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Old 21 December 2023, 08:37 AM   #8
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What did the buffalo say when his boy went off to college?

Bison.
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Old 6 December 2023, 09:24 AM   #9
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What goes in hard and dry but comes out wet and soft? GUM
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Old 12 December 2023, 06:34 AM   #10
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what did the evil chicken lay? Deviled Eggs
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Old 31 December 2023, 08:37 AM   #11
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I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my
Hispanic friends.

It means a lot to them.
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Old 2 January 2024, 02:02 AM   #12
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Wife: I'm pregnant
Me: Hi pregnant, I'm dad!
Wife: No, you're not
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Old 6 January 2024, 03:54 PM   #13
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Me: Your mother's been living here for 5 years, don't you think it's time she got a place of her own?
Wife: My mother? I thought she was your mother!
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Old 25 March 2024, 06:49 AM   #14
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Quote:
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Wife: I'm pregnant
Me: Hi pregnant, I'm dad!
Wife: No, you're not

Hahaha


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Old 28 March 2024, 01:22 AM   #15
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ouch hahaha
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Old 8 January 2024, 03:27 AM   #16
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Quote:
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I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my
Hispanic friends.

It means a lot to them.
I think this is a great joke but I've tried to use it a few times now and all I'm getting are akward "that's nice" etc. Sheesh.
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Old 2 February 2024, 04:18 PM   #17
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You can't run through a campground you can only ran. Because it's past tents.
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Old 4 February 2024, 12:16 AM   #18
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Our family recently found out that grandpa's addicted to Viagra.
Grandma's taking it pretty hard.
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Old 4 February 2024, 08:28 PM   #19
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Quote:
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Our family recently found out that grandpa's addicted to Viagra.
Grandma's taking it pretty hard.
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Old 4 February 2024, 01:22 AM   #20
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A termite walks into a bar and Askes; Is the bartender here?
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Old 8 February 2024, 12:30 AM   #21
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Ha-Ha lol
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Old 21 February 2024, 10:08 PM   #22
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I’ve started investing in stocks: Beef, chicken, and vegetable.

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
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Old 28 February 2024, 10:24 AM   #23
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What pronouns does chololate use?

Her/She
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Old 29 February 2024, 01:53 PM   #24
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I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card fell out.

The cashier said, “Never mind.”
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Old 4 March 2024, 12:53 PM   #25
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What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds.


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Old 5 March 2024, 09:02 PM   #26
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What did the bald man say when he got a comb on his birthday?

Thanks very much, I'll never part with it.
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Old 15 March 2024, 02:33 AM   #27
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What has five toes and is not your foot?…..My foot.
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Old 17 March 2024, 03:50 AM   #28
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Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover?
You shouldn’t press your luck.


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Old 17 March 2024, 12:26 PM   #29
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Not a fan of Civil War jokes

They're General Lee not funny
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Old 18 March 2024, 07:10 PM   #30
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We were so poor when we were kids, one Christmas my Dad wrapped up an empty box & told me it was an Action Man deserter,,,,


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