The Rolex Forums   The Rolex Watch

ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX


Go Back   Rolex Forums - Rolex Forum > General Topics > Jokes & Cartoons
Reload this Page Best dad jokes
Register FAQ Calendar

Reply
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 5 March 2024, 09:02 PM   #61
Kensk
2024 Pledge Member
 
Kensk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Real Name: Ken
Location: UK
Watch: 116233
Posts: 1,815
What did the bald man say when he got a comb on his birthday?

Thanks very much, I'll never part with it.
__________________
Justified and Ancient
Kensk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15 March 2024, 02:33 AM   #62
Easy E
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: GA
Posts: 5,009
What has five toes and is not your foot?…..My foot.
Easy E is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17 March 2024, 03:50 AM   #63
Dr. Robert
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
Dr. Robert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Real Name: Bob
Location: U.S.A.
Watch: 1655
Posts: 63,836
Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover?
You shouldn’t press your luck.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons
Dr. Robert is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17 March 2024, 12:26 PM   #64
AzPaul
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
 
AzPaul's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: Paul
Location: Tucson, Az
Watch: Rolex 1501
Posts: 13,683
Not a fan of Civil War jokes

They're General Lee not funny
__________________
Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender
AzPaul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18 March 2024, 07:10 PM   #65
Ten Ten & 32
"TRF" Member
 
Ten Ten & 32's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2022
Location: England
Posts: 359
We were so poor when we were kids, one Christmas my Dad wrapped up an empty box & told me it was an Action Man deserter,,,,


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Ten Ten & 32 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18 March 2024, 07:10 PM   #66
Ten Ten & 32
"TRF" Member
 
Ten Ten & 32's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2022
Location: England
Posts: 359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clockmeister View Post
Why did the spider cross the street?
To get to the next website.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Ten Ten & 32 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19 March 2024, 07:28 PM   #67
Ten Ten & 32
"TRF" Member
 
Ten Ten & 32's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2022
Location: England
Posts: 359
What do you call a Gorilla with no ears?

Anything you want it can’t hear you!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Ten Ten & 32 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25 March 2024, 06:49 AM   #68
Marioso
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2022
Location: EU
Watch: Daytona
Posts: 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Shred View Post
Wife: I'm pregnant
Me: Hi pregnant, I'm dad!
Wife: No, you're not

Hahaha


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Marioso is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28 March 2024, 01:22 AM   #69
WYWATL
2024 Pledge Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2024
Real Name: Noah Allen
Location: Georgia
Posts: 221
ouch hahaha
WYWATL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29 March 2024, 04:18 AM   #70
George.Costanza
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
 
Join Date: May 2023
Location: Scotland
Posts: 24
How does a non-binary samurai kill people?

They slash them.
George.Costanza is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26 April 2024, 08:04 PM   #71
Petroc Tremaine
"TRF" Member
 
Petroc Tremaine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Doggerland
Posts: 215
My friend has joined a cult that worships black holes.

I’d hate to get sucked into something like that.
Petroc Tremaine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6 May 2024, 09:32 PM   #72
Petroc Tremaine
"TRF" Member
 
Petroc Tremaine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Doggerland
Posts: 215
I have an EpiPen.

My best friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
Petroc Tremaine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9 May 2024, 01:47 PM   #73
Dr. Robert
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
Dr. Robert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Real Name: Bob
Location: U.S.A.
Watch: 1655
Posts: 63,836
How did one tectonic plate apologize to the other?

“My fault”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons
Dr. Robert is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15 May 2024, 09:14 PM   #74
deeman54
2024 Pledge Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2024
Location: Chicago
Watch: 116500LN/126610LN
Posts: 106
What happens with orions belt collides with the big dipper?

Star Wars
deeman54 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15 May 2024, 09:14 PM   #75
deeman54
2024 Pledge Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2024
Location: Chicago
Watch: 116500LN/126610LN
Posts: 106
why are they called french fries when they are fried in grease. (greece)
deeman54 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31 May 2024, 07:43 AM   #76
Bazil
2024 Pledge Member
 
Bazil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2022
Real Name: Bazil Brush
Location: Star Gazing
Watch: Any Daytona
Posts: 3,460
What do you call a Hippo with one leg ?


A Hoppo ….
__________________
<a href=https://ibb.co/P5C6k8z target=_blank>https://ibb.co/P5C6k8z</a>
One day, it just stops ticking, so enjoy every second
If you have no enemies, you have no character. Taking a stand always creates opposition.
Paul Newman
Being Serious = Onto the list you go
Bazil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3 June 2024, 04:18 AM   #77
RandallBoris
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: Argetina
Posts: 9
Best jokes I heard in a while.
RandallBoris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3 June 2024, 07:34 AM   #78
Bazil
2024 Pledge Member
 
Bazil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2022
Real Name: Bazil Brush
Location: Star Gazing
Watch: Any Daytona
Posts: 3,460
Quote:
Originally Posted by RandallBoris View Post
Best jokes I heard in a while.
Senior Randall - currently in your fine country, Rio Grande …. 600km from Antarctica … and trust me it’s bloomin freezing ..
__________________
<a href=https://ibb.co/P5C6k8z target=_blank>https://ibb.co/P5C6k8z</a>
One day, it just stops ticking, so enjoy every second
If you have no enemies, you have no character. Taking a stand always creates opposition.
Paul Newman
Being Serious = Onto the list you go
Bazil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20 June 2024, 05:58 PM   #79
Kensk
2024 Pledge Member
 
Kensk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Real Name: Ken
Location: UK
Watch: 116233
Posts: 1,815
My half brother and I aren't allowed to play with the chainsaw anymore.
__________________
Justified and Ancient
Kensk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2024, 01:04 PM   #80
Dr. Robert
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
Dr. Robert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Real Name: Bob
Location: U.S.A.
Watch: 1655
Posts: 63,836
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday. All others are weekdays.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons
Dr. Robert is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 July 2024, 10:29 PM   #81
AzPaul
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
 
AzPaul's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: Paul
Location: Tucson, Az
Watch: Rolex 1501
Posts: 13,683
What's the difference between an earth burger and a space burger?

One's a little meteor
__________________
Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender
AzPaul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14 July 2024, 03:46 AM   #82
Kensk
2024 Pledge Member
 
Kensk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Real Name: Ken
Location: UK
Watch: 116233
Posts: 1,815
What do you call a cowardly chicken?

A chicken
__________________
Justified and Ancient
Kensk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24 July 2024, 03:36 AM   #83
Shmoopy
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2021
Location: USA/EU
Posts: 375
I know the forum has an English-only policy, but I think this one was too funny not to share. (What's the old saying about better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission lol)

"Donde vive Bruce Lee?"

"AYAAA!!!!"
Shmoopy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14 August 2024, 11:21 AM   #84
Bazil
2024 Pledge Member
 
Bazil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2022
Real Name: Bazil Brush
Location: Star Gazing
Watch: Any Daytona
Posts: 3,460
What brand of trainers (sneakers) do chickens wear ?

Ree-bok-bokbok …
__________________
<a href=https://ibb.co/P5C6k8z target=_blank>https://ibb.co/P5C6k8z</a>
One day, it just stops ticking, so enjoy every second
If you have no enemies, you have no character. Taking a stand always creates opposition.
Paul Newman
Being Serious = Onto the list you go
Bazil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14 August 2024, 11:36 AM   #85
Schmed
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 272
My boy asked if I'd tell him about the eclipse.

I said "No son".
Schmed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16 August 2024, 07:10 AM   #86
DoricSpiker
2024 Pledge Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,488
Just found my wife’s Tinder profile online. I have had it with her lies. She is not fun to be around!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DoricSpiker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18 August 2024, 12:05 PM   #87
TBS
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2023
Location: US
Watch: SD43 & Pelagos42
Posts: 45
How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.
TBS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31 August 2024, 06:48 AM   #88
AzPaul
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
 
AzPaul's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: Paul
Location: Tucson, Az
Watch: Rolex 1501
Posts: 13,683
A huge fight broke out at Red Lobster.

There were battered fish, everywhere.
__________________
Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender
AzPaul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1 September 2024, 08:20 PM   #89
Number3
"TRF" Member
 
Number3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: London
Watch: 114060LB
Posts: 3,961
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoricSpiker View Post
Just found my wife’s Tinder profile online. I have had it with her lies. She is not fun to be around!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Number3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3 September 2024, 03:54 AM   #90
Funkle
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Real Name: John
Location: Dallas
Watch: SS Sub
Posts: 79
I had a meeting with a microbiologist.

He was much larger than I expected
Funkle is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

DavidSW Watches

Takuya Watches

My Watch LLC

OCWatches

Wrist Aficionado

Asset Appeal


*Banners Of The Month*
 This space is provided to horological resources.



Contact Us - The Rolex Forums - Archive - Top


Copyright ©2004-2024, The Rolex Forums. All Rights Reserved.

ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

Rolex is a registered trademark of ROLEX USA. The Rolex Forums is not affiliated with ROLEX USA in any way.