My wife's very angry!

[ESKO]

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

O.K. I sat down on the couch this morning and got a long lecture from my wife. I just sat there with a serious look on my face, as she recounted the events.

When she recalled the instuctions I knew where this was going. There's no winning this one. I just played dead as she circled the coffee table. I felt like a third grader in the principals office.

Count one on the docket; "sneaking around" her directive to take the dog to have it's haircut. I plead Guilty.

Count two; Embeselment of spousal funds for an unknown reason (She has no idea about the piggy bank, or the Seadweller plans) I plead guilty, but explained I planned to return the money once I had come up with the great idea.

Count three; Carving the dog to look like a whippit. Guilty as hell!

Count Four; Causing her undue stress while pregnant with twins. Guilty plea here too.

Count five; Subjecting our child to getting earrings without consulting the 51% share holder first. Guilty

Count 6; Not considering her to be present when getting her ears pierced. Guilty

Count seven; being a sneaky, weasel, self conceded, cigar smoking, idiot that needs a handler for any unsupervised time. I played dead, and staired at the back door. Bandit was scratching at the door to come back in. It is getting cool at night, and it seems he needed fur a little longer, but I wouldn't know that because I don't think. I guess it was also a guilty plea.

Sentence handed down by the spousal unit general issue 1 each. You will clean the entire house exactly as directed so the twins will have no clue of what happened, and I will correct this behavior before then because she is tired of it. I agreed, and got a kiss on the cheek.

I slid out the door, and got into the car. I made my escape. I was expecting worse, but she did think some of it was funny. I never cracked a grin because I didn't know if she was baiting the conversation for a confirmation that I'm a smart A55.

I think I'll take them out for ice cream tonight. I'm on serious probation right now, and need to play this right. I'd like to get my little hands on a chunk of that tax return for the piggy bank, and that's my next business venture.

Seadweller......Here I come!

Uh Oh!!!
Do we need to start a "Get Paul Outta Jail" fund here on TRF?
Mods?
Anyone?
Oh, Paul,
We're in trouble now come Tax return time!!

We're here for ya buddy!!!

[hawg]

I attempted this once myself, and I must say Only Once, for it was I who was in the doghouse for quite a while.

[openwheelracing]

DOG HOUSE!!!! Hahaha, welcome to my world right now. I am in deep #W$%$ atm.

[rfknauss]

Paul, OMG, I am laughing so hard I almost spit out my latte on my keyboard! All I can say is that it is a good thing your wife is not a cop also .... she probably would have taken you in handcuffs down to the station house!

[DSJ]

This is hilarious! But you've learned! Next time use the #3 guard and go easy on the nails!

[fleabag]

OMG,my ribs are killing me , you are one funny guy !!
You should sell the story and make money on it .LOL !!!!

[ParisDakarBmw]

Originally Posted by DSJ

This is hilarious! But you've learned! Next time use the #3 guard and go easy on the nails!

No Joke! I wish I had one of those vacuum cleaner clippers. You know the one they had on the infomercials back in 1994. If I had one of those, I'd be sittin pretty. Hell, I could cut my little girls hair too. I could make some good cash below the radar..........HMMMMM.......Maybe the minivan needs an oil change.

O.K. Hear me out. If I could get my hands on about 20 of those little motor oil stickers they put in the window, I could start another little inhouse scheme. I could get the oil changed, and peel the original sticker off. If I place the NEW sticker on with a 1000 mile service mileage, I could pop $45 x 2, plus two vehicles I could stack back some good cash that way. My wife wouldn't ask any questions.

I think the light bulb will go out tonight in the front Right low beam. There's a quick $15. Bandit was a failure, but I've got a backup plan. I'm getting that freakin watch come hell or high water!

[Safetrends]

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

O.K. I sat down on the couch this morning and got a long lecture from my wife. I just sat there with a serious look on my face, as she recounted the events.

When she recalled the instuctions I knew where this was going. There's no winning this one. I just played dead as she circled the coffee table. I felt like a third grader in the principals office.

Count one on the docket; "sneaking around" her directive to take the dog to have it's haircut. I plead Guilty.

Count two; Embeselment of spousal funds for an unknown reason (She has no idea about the piggy bank, or the Seadweller plans) I plead guilty, but explained I planned to return the money once I had come up with the great idea.

Count three; Carving the dog to look like a whippit. Guilty as hell!

Count Four; Causing her undue stress while pregnant with twins. Guilty plea here too.

Count five; Subjecting our child to getting earrings without consulting the 51% share holder first. Guilty

Count 6; Not considering her to be present when getting her ears pierced. Guilty

Count seven; being a sneaky, weasel, self conceded, cigar smoking, idiot that needs a handler for any unsupervised time. I played dead, and staired at the back door. Bandit was scratching at the door to come back in. It is getting cool at night, and it seems he needed fur a little longer, but I wouldn't know that because I don't think. I guess it was also a guilty plea.

Sentence handed down by the spousal unit general issue 1 each. You will clean the entire house exactly as directed so the twins will have no clue of what happened, and I will correct this behavior before then because she is tired of it. I agreed, and got a kiss on the cheek.

I slid out the door, and got into the car. I made my escape. I was expecting worse, but she did think some of it was funny. I never cracked a grin because I didn't know if she was baiting the conversation for a confirmation that I'm a smart A55.

I think I'll take them out for ice cream tonight. I'm on serious probation right now, and need to play this right. I'd like to get my little hands on a chunk of that tax return for the piggy bank, and that's my next business venture.

Seadweller......Here I come!

Do what I do, buy her a gift from Zales, 1,000.00 USD + and then you will be out of the dog house.


BTW this is great s**t, I love it, reminds me of my younger days in purgatory.

[ESKO]

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

No Joke! I wish I had one of those vacuum cleaner clippers. You know the one they had on the infomercials back in 1994. If I had one of those, I'd be sittin pretty. Hell, I could cut my little girls hair too. I could make some good cash below the radar..........HMMMMM.......Maybe the minivan needs an oil change.

O.K. Hear me out. If I could get my hands on about 20 of those little motor oil stickers they put in the window, I could start another little inhouse scheme. I could get the oil changed, and peel the original sticker off. If I place the NEW sticker on with a 1000 mile service mileage, I could pop $45 x 2, plus two vehicles I could stack back some good cash that way. My wife wouldn't ask any questions.

I think the light bulb will go out tonight in the front Right low beam. There's a quick $15. Bandit was a failure, but I've got a backup plan. I'm getting that freakin watch come hell or high water!

THE FLOBEE!!!
YES get one now...........
WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!

[RebreatherDiver]

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

No Joke! I wish I had one of those vacuum cleaner clippers. You know the one they had on the infomercials back in 1994. ......

Paul, what happened to your training? Use your Verbal Judo!!!

[cornerstore]

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

No Joke! I wish I had one of those vacuum cleaner clippers. You know the one they had on the infomercials back in 1994. If I had one of those, I'd be sittin pretty. Hell, I could cut my little girls hair too. I could make some good cash below the radar..........HMMMMM.......Maybe the minivan needs an oil change.

It's called a Flowbe

webrickbotflat2%20copy.jpg

[beerformeplz]

You should have charged double as it wont need a haircut again for awhile.lol

[Safetrends]

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

No Joke! I wish I had one of those vacuum cleaner clippers. You know the one they had on the infomercials back in 1994. If I had one of those, I'd be sittin pretty. Hell, I could cut my little girls hair too. I could make some good cash below the radar..........HMMMMM.......Maybe the minivan needs an oil change.

O.K. Hear me out. If I could get my hands on about 20 of those little motor oil stickers they put in the window, I could start another little inhouse scheme. I could get the oil changed, and peel the original sticker off. If I place the NEW sticker on with a 1000 mile service mileage, I could pop $45 x 2, plus two vehicles I could stack back some good cash that way. My wife wouldn't ask any questions.

I think the light bulb will go out tonight in the front Right low beam. There's a quick $15. Bandit was a failure, but I've got a backup plan. I'm getting that freakin watch come hell or high water!

You are in need of professional help.

[RebreatherDiver]

USE YOUR VERBAL JUDO!

[Sonny Crockett]

Desperate times call for desparate measures! LOL

[User Name]

Hey it is only hair and by spring time all will be well......

Neil

[ESKO]

Originally Posted by patrick09

It's called a Flowbe

Attachment 117695

Is that Jeff Foxworthy??

[DSJ]

Yeah, the Flobee!

[matt.wu]

Great story. Ridiculous what we'll do....

[Evan614]

Hey look on the bright side at least you didn't try to pierce your own daughter's ears with a needle & a potato and pocket that money for you next acquisition.

[ParisDakarBmw]

Originally Posted by RebreatherDiver

Paul, what happened to your training? Use your Verbal Judo!!!

The Flowbee! That's it. I would be counting my money right now if I had one of those Saturday.

Look how happy those people are in the pictures. I wish the man had a seadweller on in that picture! That would be priceless.

I'm having fun sharing this with everyone! The funny thing is, this is my life! It really is like a freakin 3 stooges, or Spanky & the gang show. I screw up all the time, but my wife keeps me here.

You guys are a trip!

[B. Doggy]

The things we'll do for a Rolex....

[diversified]

Hell, looks like a good hair cut to me!
Sometimes I wish I came out of the barber's chair looking like that!

[spuds]

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

I think I'll take them out for ice cream tonight. I'm on serious probation right now, and need to play this right. I'd like to get my little hands on a chunk of that tax return for the piggy bank, and that's my next business venture.

Seadweller......Here I come!

soooooooooooooooooooooooo funny!!!!

[mikea]

hilarious!

[Safetrends]

.

[escudoturbo]

Absolute legend

[chrislkb]

Good move Paul, don't get yr woman smell another rat again. This episode reminds of the TV Court series where spouses have a go at each other except this defendant looks sheepishly guilty...

Let us know when you scored that SD, that will be another episode.

Stay tuned.

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

O.K. I sat down on the couch this morning and got a long lecture from my wife. I just sat there with a serious look on my face, as she recounted the events.

When she recalled the instuctions I knew where this was going. There's no winning this one. I just played dead as she circled the coffee table. I felt like a third grader in the principals office.

Count one on the docket; "sneaking around" her directive to take the dog to have it's haircut. I plead Guilty.

Count two; Embeselment of spousal funds for an unknown reason (She has no idea about the piggy bank, or the Seadweller plans) I plead guilty, but explained I planned to return the money once I had come up with the great idea.

Count three; Carving the dog to look like a whippit. Guilty as hell!

Count Four; Causing her undue stress while pregnant with twins. Guilty plea here too.

Count five; Subjecting our child to getting earrings without consulting the 51% share holder first. Guilty

Count 6; Not considering her to be present when getting her ears pierced. Guilty

Count seven; being a sneaky, weasel, self conceded, cigar smoking, idiot that needs a handler for any unsupervised time. I played dead, and staired at the back door. Bandit was scratching at the door to come back in. It is getting cool at night, and it seems he needed fur a little longer, but I wouldn't know that because I don't think. I guess it was also a guilty plea.

Sentence handed down by the spousal unit general issue 1 each. You will clean the entire house exactly as directed so the twins will have no clue of what happened, and I will correct this behavior before then because she is tired of it. I agreed, and got a kiss on the cheek.

I slid out the door, and got into the car. I made my escape. I was expecting worse, but she did think some of it was funny. I never cracked a grin because I didn't know if she was baiting the conversation for a confirmation that I'm a smart A55.

I think I'll take them out for ice cream tonight. I'm on serious probation right now, and need to play this right. I'd like to get my little hands on a chunk of that tax return for the piggy bank, and that's my next business venture.

Seadweller......Here I come!

[chrislkb]

Hey TRF forummers, I can sense a Hollywood blockbuster hit in the making.

......

....

...

..

.

DIE HARD 5.01 (Starring Paul Willis)

Originally Posted by ParisDakarBmw

No Joke! I wish I had one of those vacuum cleaner clippers. You know the one they had on the infomercials back in 1994. If I had one of those, I'd be sittin pretty. Hell, I could cut my little girls hair too. I could make some good cash below the radar..........HMMMMM.......Maybe the minivan needs an oil change.

O.K. Hear me out. If I could get my hands on about 20 of those little motor oil stickers they put in the window, I could start another little inhouse scheme. I could get the oil changed, and peel the original sticker off. If I place the NEW sticker on with a 1000 mile service mileage, I could pop $45 x 2, plus two vehicles I could stack back some good cash that way. My wife wouldn't ask any questions.

I think the light bulb will go out tonight in the front Right low beam. There's a quick $15. Bandit was a failure, but I've got a backup plan. I'm getting that freakin watch come hell or high water!

[Safetrends]

You know Paul you could sit on a corrner with a cup and a sign,,,,,,,,