ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

Ruud Van Driver · 10 March 2015, 08:48 PM

Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and Taramasalata. It's a double dip recession.
----------------------------------------
A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
------------------------------------------
Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.
----------------------------------------
Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them..
"Bollocks to that" said Paddy "That's the last time I go lion dancing"
-----------------------------------
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."
---------------------------------------------
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
--------------------------------------------------------
Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt .
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
Both in hospital...... One's in a korma....... The other's got a dodgy tikka!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.' He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An elderly couple are in church. About halfway through the service, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?' He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

cop414 · 10 March 2015, 09:40 PM

brkanand · 11 March 2015, 03:25 AM

Ha ha good ones!

Tri-Tip · 11 March 2015, 07:20 AM

My favorite:

Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

slcbbrown · 11 March 2015, 07:59 AM

Nothing like an awful pun to brighten the day-- Slovak!

Hairdude1 · 11 March 2015, 12:09 PM

Andad · 11 March 2015, 03:09 PM

swatty · 11 March 2015, 07:41 PM

Wd40

MonBK · 11 March 2015, 08:18 PM

:)

dysondiver · 11 March 2015, 08:28 PM

very good

Psmith · 12 March 2015, 05:13 AM

seand442 · 13 March 2015, 12:59 AM

watchwatcher · 16 April 2015, 02:34 AM

Bangel · 29 April 2015, 10:24 PM

jamesmay · 14 May 2015, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slcbbrown

Nothing like an awful pun to brighten the day-- Slovak!

jamesmay · 14 May 2015, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tri-Tip

My favorite:

Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

jamesmay · 14 May 2015, 05:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tri-Tip

My favorite:

Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

Still gets me everytime

Frosty · 14 May 2015, 07:58 AM

10 March 2015, 08:48 PM	#1
Ruud Van Driver "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Real Name: Chopped Liver Location: S. Wales Valleys Watch: Mickey Mouse Posts: 9,926	Some quickies (Work/child safe-ish) Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and Taramasalata. It's a double dip recession. ---------------------------------------- A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?" The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient". ------------------------------------------ Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco. Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take. ---------------------------------------- Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them.. "Bollocks to that" said Paddy "That's the last time I go lion dancing" ----------------------------------- Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then." --------------------------------------------- My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak. -------------------------------------------------------- Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt . Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. Both in hospital...... One's in a korma....... The other's got a dodgy tikka! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.' He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An elderly couple are in church. About halfway through the service, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?' He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

10 March 2015, 09:40 PM	#2
cop414 TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Tim Location: Pennsylvania Watch: 14060M Posts: 72,085	__________________ Rolex Submariner 14060M Omega Seamaster 2254.50 DOXA Professional 1200T Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons TRF's "After Dark" Bar & NightClub Patron P Club Member #17 2 FA ENABLED

11 March 2015, 12:09 PM	#6
Hairdude1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Alex Location: Chicago Watch: AP,PP, Rolex Posts: 37,156	__________________ Instagram: @Hairdude Watches in Collection 5070R, 5522A, 214270 MK1, 228238 16750, 26401, 5711, 116718, 116710LN, 116300, 16710"Coke", 372, 15300, 15703 (All Flipped) Official Member "Perpetual 30" Las Vegas GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas Int'l GTG 2018

11 March 2015, 03:09 PM	#7
Andad 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Eddie Location: Australia Watch: A few. Posts: 37,464	__________________ E

12 March 2015, 05:13 AM	#11
Psmith "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Clive Location: Exoplanet Watch: spring-driven Posts: 38,856	__________________

11 March 2015, 03:25 AM	#3
brkanand 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: DrK Location: India Watch: 4=YMDaytonaGMTHulk Posts: 7,052	Ha ha good ones!

11 March 2015, 07:20 AM	#4
Tri-Tip "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: CA, USA Watch: Out!!! Posts: 6,470	My favorite: Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

11 March 2015, 07:59 AM	#5
slcbbrown "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2009 Real Name: steve Location: dallas area Watch: 50's TT t-bird Posts: 3,689	Nothing like an awful pun to brighten the day-- Slovak!

11 March 2015, 07:41 PM	#8
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,414	Wd40

11 March 2015, 08:18 PM	#9
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,279	:)

11 March 2015, 08:28 PM	#10
dysondiver "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Real Name: tom Location: northern ireland Watch: my fins Posts: 10,063	very good

13 March 2015, 12:59 AM	#12
seand442 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Earth Watch: 116610 Posts: 3,455	__________________ NEVER ARGUE WITH AN IDIOT. FIRST THEY WILL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL. THEN, THEY WILL BEAT YOU WITH EXPERIENCE.

16 April 2015, 02:34 AM	#13
watchwatcher "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Larry Location: Kentucky Watch: Yes Posts: 34,976

29 April 2015, 10:24 PM	#14
Bangel "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Australia Watch: 116610LN Posts: 15,802

14 May 2015, 07:58 AM	#18
Frosty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: May 2009 Real Name: Larry Location: So Cal Watch: Rolex GMT 1675 Posts: 5,087	__________________ “Anyone can be sarcastic; it takes intelligence to solve a problem!”

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)