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I will never forget it you know, my boyfriend Ernie was suffereing from silent
gas emissions. I sent him to the doctor. He said "Doc, you gotta help me, I'm
suffereing from silent gas emissions. Last night at the opera I had 10 silent
gas emissions, this morning at breakfast I had 2 silent gas emissions, and sitting
here in this office with you I've had 5 silent gas emissions. What the hell am I
going to do?" "Well," said the doctor, "the first thing we're gonna do is check
your hearing."
Sometimes I like to go to the doctor myself. There's nothing wrong with me, I
just enjoy the stirrups. One time I came home from a FABULOUS check up. I said
"Ernie, guess what? The doctor said I have the constitution of a 20 year old girl.
He says I have the heart, lungs, and liver of a 20 year old girl." Ernie looked me
up and down. He said "Hey, did he mention your 80 year old ass." I said "No, we
didn't talk about you!"