Golf.
 

It was a sunny Friday morning on the first hole of a busy course and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualising my upcoming shot, when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker.

"Would the gentleman on the women's tee back up to the men's tee please !"
I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.

Again the announcement, "Would that MAN on the WOMEN'S tee kindly back up to the MEN'S tee."
I simply ignored the announcement and kept concentrating, when once more, the man yelled: "Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee back up to the MEN'S tee, PLEASE !"
Finally, I stopped, turned and looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike.

I cupped my hands and shouted back, "Would the cu#t in the clubhouse kindly shut the fek up and let me play my second shot ?"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
That's the kind of drive you only yell "two and a half" before :chuckle:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

One of my colleagues has lived in Australia for a couple of years during his childhood. Many Dutch couples wanted to escape the poverty of the 50’s and try to make a better life elsewhere. Canada and Australia were the most important immigration countries back then. One story still clings to me like glue. A couple of weeks after their arrival they visited relatives who had gone to Australia before them. In the house were Aussie neighbors as well. Part of the conversation was in Dutch and somehow the women had a conversation about lace. Now the Dutch word for lace is ‘kant’ and to an English speaking audience this sounds exactly like ‘cu#t’. He still remembers that all the non Dutch guests were flabbergasted and appalled by the repeated use of the word for that certain female body part! And on and on it went! :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: The look on their faces must have been priceless :rofl: :thumbsup:

Especally when they were using it to describe the lace on the tablecloth. "How do you like the c#nt on the table?" :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Oh dear,:concerned which one of us could they possibly be referring to? :eek: :eek: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :cheers:

:rofl: to both stories. :clap: :clap: :clap:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Very good Frans I remember when I was trying to learn Indonesian,with the help of a few locals at the dive centre.I was quite proud on learning how to order a round of drinks in Indonesian.So that evening at our normal bar and my favourite waitress Natalia.I placed my order all the bar girls and the guys roared with laughter.But myself thought strange what did a say,and repeated it slowly.Again roars of laughter,so I thought b@st@ds what have I said.Well it turns out I said 4 beers and Natalia has a big hairy pussy.Although it was true, perhaps she did not want the whole bar to know.You may ask how do I know but thats a long story.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

You shagged her mate. :thumbsup:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :cheers:

Correct Paulie but the other way round.:chuckle:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :thumbsup:

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :clap:

:cheers: :thumbsup:

:rofl: :rofl: At this entire thread!! :chuckle: :chuckle: