Best dad jokes
 

Post best dad jokes here i will start

I went to a bee keeper and asked for 12 bees. He gave me 13. I said sir you gave me one extra. He said that’s a free bee.

A Vick’s Vaporub truck crashed during rush hour this morning. Despite blocking multiple lanes, there was no congestion.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.

ha ha

my kid loved it

What do ticks and the Eiffel Tower have in common?

They are both ParisSites

I showed my wife this thread …. She simply gave me an eye roll:chuckle::chuckle:

That's the highest form of acceptance of a dad joke isn't it?

You know what... I think you're right! :chuckle:

Sent from my SM-G960W using Tapatalk

What do you call a cow with no legs?.......Ground Beef! hahahahaha!

What do you call a dinosaur that has gone blind?

Idonthinkhesaurus

Wife kept complaining I was horrible with directions. So I packed my bags and right.

Bump!
It's a nice collection you have there [emoji2]

Sent from my vivo Y55A using Tapatalk

Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

There was a kidnapping at my son's school.
The teacher woke him up.

:chuckle::chuckle:

:chuckle:

If you see a crime at an Apple store, are you an iWitness?

What is a pirate's favorite letter? (Pause for everyone to say "RRRRRRRRRRRR")

Said in my best pirate voice "AAAAARRRRRRR, you'd think that, but it's actually C"

When does a regular joke become a dad joke?
…
…
When the punchline becomes apparent

Bono and Edge walk into a bar
The bartender says, "Not U2 again"

These are all so good thanks for posting i use them all

Love these

When I was a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft.

I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.

When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.

What do you call a frozen grape? A chilled vine!

A man rushed to see his doctor and, in a panic, exclaimed "Doc! As you can see I shrunk to 3'6" overnight. Please help!"

The doctor calmly replied, "Don't worry, you'll just have to be a little patient."

I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.