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29 November 2009, 08:01 PM | #1 |
"TRF" Life Patron
Join Date: Jun 2005
Real Name: Peter
Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng
Watch: ing you.
Posts: 53,045
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Sheep vs. Women
Could JJ be on to the real thing with his woolly back friends.
Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather Cotton mouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease Nuttin' beats mutton Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, drink your coke, and then tell you they have to be home early Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off when you tell them No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a willing ewe Sheep are never concerened about their reputation Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time you couldn't get it up Sheep won't ask if you're gay the first time you can't get it up for the second time Sheep never insist on eating out You'll never catch your sheep masturbating to a picture of Mel Gibson Sheep don't get suspicious if you have to work late Sheep don't smell like tuna fish Sheep don't get moody once a month You can eat a lamb chop without getting wool stuck in your teeth A sheep doesn't expect you to support her for the rest of her life after one roll in the hay A sheep never wears curlers and a mud pack to bed A sheep doesn't stop screwing after the honeymoon A sheep won't get drunk and throw up in your car A sheep won't think that a weekend stay-over entitles her to rearrange your furniture and put up new curtains A sheep won't expect you to pay...and pay...and pay...and pay A sheep will never complain about the spittoon in your pickup A sheep will never throw out your old copies of Playboy A sheep won't care of you keep your fish bait in the refrigerator A sheep won't get even with you by spending your paycheck on new clothes, none of which are see-through or meant to be worn in the bedroom A sheep will never sue you for palimony A sheep won't care if you screw her sister A sheep won't care if your secretary is better looking than she is A sheep will never tell you the ceiling needs to be painted while you're screwing A sheep won't use you razor to shave its legs, or your pocketknife to open a paint can Sheep never have a headache A sheep won't give your favorite hunting shirt to Goodwill A sheep won't leave wet nylons hanging all over the bathroom A sheep will never ask you to stop on the way home from work and pick up a box of tampons Sheep grow their own fur coats A sheep will never leave a vibrator on the living room couch when you're having friends over to watch football Sheep won't cheat on you with your best friend A sheep will never ask if you'll still respect her in the morning Sheep aren't into talking before or after sex A sheep never yells at you for leaving the lid up A sheep won't send you out for batteries for her vibrator A sheep doesn't think it's demeaning or kinky to do it doggy style A sheep won't mind if you put up mirrors in the bedroom Sheep are "ram tough" A sheep won't think your cheap and tacky if you: send daisies instead of long-stemmed red roses, tip less than 20%, wear levis with a hole in the seat, open beer bottles with your teeth Sheep don't mind if you leave the lights on Sheep don't mind doing it in the morning Sheep don't mind doing it in a pickup truck A sheep will never use the excuse that: she just did her nails, it's too hot, it's too cold, you'll wake the kids, you'll wake the neighbours, she's too drunk to enjoy it, she's not drunk enough to enjoy it. A sheep will never leave you for a plastic battery powered toy Could JJ be on to the real thing with his woolly back friends. ????
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ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder |
29 November 2009, 10:23 PM | #2 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Real Name: Dave
Location: Australia
Watch: DJ16233TT
Posts: 18,485
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I'm waiting for the reaction here
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Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth |
30 November 2009, 03:30 AM | #3 |
Fondly Remembered
Join Date: May 2005
Real Name: JJ
Location: Auckland, NZ
Watch: ALL SOLD!!
Posts: 74,319
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Our Padi's on a roll now.......trying for top spot Tosser position again.
JJ
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Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!! |
30 November 2009, 03:31 AM | #4 |
TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron
Join Date: Jul 2007
Real Name: Rob
Location: Nearby.
Posts: 24,930
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He who wears a Rolex is always on time, even when late!! TRF's "After Dark" Bar & Nightclub Patron-Founding Member.. |
1 December 2009, 08:28 PM | #5 |
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Real Name: Peter
Location: Sydney
Watch: The Game
Posts: 17,415
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1 December 2009, 08:50 PM | #6 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,175
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2 December 2009, 02:25 AM | #7 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Real Name: Jon
Location: Chicago
Watch: IIc,DJII,P244,A1-Z
Posts: 2,857
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Whoever put that list together sure has some insecurity issues with vibrators.
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2 December 2009, 03:33 AM | #8 |
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Monterey Bay, CA
Watch: Explorer II
Posts: 554
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2 December 2009, 09:06 AM | #9 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Real Name: Ashley
Location: Calgary
Posts: 6,967
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So thiiiiiiis is why there are so many sheep in New Zealand!
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2 December 2009, 09:14 AM | #10 |
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Real Name: El Raf-O
Location: florida
Watch: tt GMT2c,Omega
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2 December 2009, 09:14 AM | #11 |
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Real Name: Brian
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 2,776
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Amen.
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2 December 2009, 10:24 AM | #12 |
Member
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Real Name: Sandy
Location: NJ
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