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FremStar · 9 October 2012, 05:23 AM

'Dear Husband,

I'm writing this note to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

I've been a good woman to you for 7 years, and I have nothing to show for it. These last few months have been Hell. You are never home these days, always claiming that you are under pressure at the bank and need to put in the hours. Your boss called today, and let slip that you have now quit. For me, that's the last straw, as you never tell me your plans, are completely self-obsessed, and constantly cut me out of everything.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had had my hair done, or that I had cooked you your favourite meal and, even worse, was wearing brand new silk lingerie. You came in, pushed the food to one side, and disappeared into your study with your briefcase.

You never tell me you love me anymore, and you don't want to get intimate. Either you're cheating on me, or have fallen out of love with me. Whatever, I'm out of here.

Your soon-to-be ex-wife

PS - Don't try to find me. Your brother and I are moving away to Spain together. Have a great life, loser!'

'Dear Soon-to-be ex-Wife,

Thank you for you recent note,

It's true that we have been married for 7 years, although I'm not sure I would go as far as to call you a good woman. I have had to bring a lot more work home recently as things are tough. Unfortunately, working in the same room as you has proved impossible because of your constant whining and griping.

I did, in fact, notice that you had fixed your hair, but I thought it made you look like a man. As I was always told to say nothing at all if you can't say something good, I kept quiet.

And you did cook me a meal last week, but it wasn't actually my favourite dish. You must have got me confused with my brother, as I haven't eaten pork for over 7 years now.

Now about your new silk lingerie. I turned away from you because the $100 price tag was still on the knickers, and I was pondering the co-incidence that my brother actually borrowed $100 from me that very morning.

After all this, I still loved you, and hoped we could have worked it out. So when I won $18m on the lotto, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to travel the world. But when I got home, you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess, and I hope that you find happiness with my brother.

Your Soon-to-be ex-husband (rich as Hell, and free as a bird).

PS - Please don't try and contact me for any kind of settlement, as I plan to spend the rest of my life travelling outside the long arm of the country's judicial system.

Oh, and I'm not sure if you know that my brother Carl was actually born Caroline. I hope that's not a problem for you'.

TSW · 9 October 2012, 05:26 AM

:r ofl:

subtona · 9 October 2012, 06:16 AM

excellent read

Al1988 · 9 October 2012, 06:17 AM

Amazing!

BmwA5H · 9 October 2012, 06:19 AM

Absolutely brilliant!

Art 1 · 9 October 2012, 07:33 AM

77T · 9 October 2012, 07:50 AM

Alcan · 9 October 2012, 08:30 AM

Touché !!!

mjclark32 · 9 October 2012, 08:53 AM

Hahaha, funny enough my wife read me the same correspondence except the words/names were changed so the woman won in the end

brkanand · 9 October 2012, 08:59 AM

Haha!

iaymnu · 9 October 2012, 09:18 AM

brilliant !

T.S.Eliot · 9 October 2012, 09:29 AM

now is there more to the story Sam?

FeelingTheBlues · 9 October 2012, 12:28 PM

Very funny indeed Sam!

Yours truly,

...Caroline!

Dr. Robert · 9 October 2012, 01:05 PM

swatty · 9 October 2012, 06:38 PM

Love it

MoBe · 9 October 2012, 10:06 PM

` time to check my lottery ticket.

Cru Jones · 10 October 2012, 10:18 PM

Glenn422 · 11 October 2012, 05:43 AM

BAM! In your face!

eric23 · 11 October 2012, 06:29 AM

perpetualman88 · 11 October 2012, 06:33 AM

hahaha good one sam :)

9 October 2012, 05:23 AM	#1
FremStar "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2009 Real Name: Sam Location: Gotham City Watch: Wall Street Posts: 9,954	Banker's Wife's 'I'm Leaving You' Note 'Dear Husband, I'm writing this note to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good woman to you for 7 years, and I have nothing to show for it. These last few months have been Hell. You are never home these days, always claiming that you are under pressure at the bank and need to put in the hours. Your boss called today, and let slip that you have now quit. For me, that's the last straw, as you never tell me your plans, are completely self-obsessed, and constantly cut me out of everything. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had had my hair done, or that I had cooked you your favourite meal and, even worse, was wearing brand new silk lingerie. You came in, pushed the food to one side, and disappeared into your study with your briefcase. You never tell me you love me anymore, and you don't want to get intimate. Either you're cheating on me, or have fallen out of love with me. Whatever, I'm out of here. Your soon-to-be ex-wife PS - Don't try to find me. Your brother and I are moving away to Spain together. Have a great life, loser!' 'Dear Soon-to-be ex-Wife, Thank you for you recent note, It's true that we have been married for 7 years, although I'm not sure I would go as far as to call you a good woman. I have had to bring a lot more work home recently as things are tough. Unfortunately, working in the same room as you has proved impossible because of your constant whining and griping. I did, in fact, notice that you had fixed your hair, but I thought it made you look like a man. As I was always told to say nothing at all if you can't say something good, I kept quiet. And you did cook me a meal last week, but it wasn't actually my favourite dish. You must have got me confused with my brother, as I haven't eaten pork for over 7 years now. Now about your new silk lingerie. I turned away from you because the $100 price tag was still on the knickers, and I was pondering the co-incidence that my brother actually borrowed $100 from me that very morning. After all this, I still loved you, and hoped we could have worked it out. So when I won $18m on the lotto, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to travel the world. But when I got home, you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess, and I hope that you find happiness with my brother. Your Soon-to-be ex-husband (rich as Hell, and free as a bird). PS - Please don't try and contact me for any kind of settlement, as I plan to spend the rest of my life travelling outside the long arm of the country's judicial system. Oh, and I'm not sure if you know that my brother Carl was actually born Caroline. I hope that's not a problem for you'. __________________ "Wealth is of the heart and mind, not of the pocket!" "A Watch Is An Emotional Object, And So, It Is The Responsibility Of The Brand To Create Emotion Through It's Products" - Georges Kern "In the 1950s and 60s, they made the Ref 8171, which is a cult collectible—now that’s the ultimate Rolex you could own with a calendar and a moon phase.” - John Reardon "Heh, heh, heh..." - Michael Kilyung

9 October 2012, 05:26 AM	#2
TSW "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: TSW Location: Le Brassus Watch: Rolex & AP's Posts: 27,449	:r ofl: __________________ AP Owners Club IG @swiss.watch.connection

9 October 2012, 06:16 AM	#3
subtona 2025 TitaniumYM Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Real Name: gus Location: East Coast Watch: APK & sometimes Y Posts: 26,789	excellent read __________________

9 October 2012, 07:50 AM	#7
77T 2025 TitaniumYM Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 42,649	__________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

9 October 2012, 08:30 AM	#8
Alcan "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Al Location: Way Up North Watch: your P's & Q's Posts: 10,473	Touché !!! __________________ Member #1,315 I don't want to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol IS a solution!

9 October 2012, 06:17 AM	#4
Al1988 "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: New York City Watch: Watch Posts: 1,002	Amazing!

9 October 2012, 06:19 AM	#5
BmwA5H "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: United Kingdom Watch: Rolex 16618 Posts: 704	Absolutely brilliant!

9 October 2012, 07:33 AM	#6
Art 1 Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florida, Canada Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega Posts: 30,244

9 October 2012, 08:53 AM	#9
mjclark32 "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Real Name: MJC Location: PHL USA Watch: IWC, Rolex, AP Posts: 29,232	Hahaha, funny enough my wife read me the same correspondence except the words/names were changed so the woman won in the end __________________

9 October 2012, 08:59 AM	#10
brkanand 2025 Pledge Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: DrK Location: India Watch: 4=YMDaytonaGMTHulk Posts: 7,065	Haha!

9 October 2012, 09:18 AM	#11
iaymnu "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Real Name: ken Location: NYC/Hong Kong Watch: Exp II/GMT2c Posts: 236	brilliant !

9 October 2012, 09:29 AM	#12
T.S.Eliot "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Real Name: K Location: KSA Watch: aholic Posts: 1,499	now is there more to the story Sam? __________________ "Phlebas the Phoenician, a fortnight dead, / Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep seas swell / And the profit and loss. / A current under sea / Picked his bones in whispers. / As he rose and fell / He passed the stages of his age and youth / Entering the whirlpool. / Gentile or Jew / O you who turn the wheel and look to windward, / Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you." Cheers, K

9 October 2012, 12:28 PM	#13
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	Very funny indeed Sam! Yours truly, ...Caroline! __________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

9 October 2012, 01:05 PM	#14
Dr. Robert "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Bob Location: U.S.A. Watch: 1655 Posts: 65,836	__________________ Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons

9 October 2012, 06:38 PM	#15
swatty 2025 TitaniumYM Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,416	Love it

9 October 2012, 10:06 PM	#16
MoBe "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Canada Posts: 6,773	` time to check my lottery ticket.

10 October 2012, 10:18 PM	#17
Cru Jones 2025 TitaniumYM Pledge Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: CET Posts: 35,704

11 October 2012, 05:43 AM	#18
Glenn422 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: TRF Posts: 721	BAM! In your face!

11 October 2012, 06:29 AM	#19
eric23 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Eric Location: Calgary Posts: 9,595

11 October 2012, 06:33 AM	#20
perpetualman88 2025 Pledge Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Real Name: David Farkas Location: Los Angeles Watch: 116610, 5712/1A Posts: 8,270	hahaha good one sam :)

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