Employment ramblings of a mom.

[Carolina]

Even though I'm a stay-at-home-mom, I still peruse the job ads on a regular basis. This morning, I came across a posting for my old position - the one I gave up to be at home when my oldest was born 7 years ago.

My husband and I agreed that it is important to have one parent who can be at home while the children are there (if possible). My husband also works long hours, and so we agreed that this scenario made it imperative that I be availlable to handle the daily house stuff, kid activities, school functions when needed.

When I was growing up, it was great to be just be a kid and play with your friends. Summers were wonderful. That's what it has been like so far for my two, who are 5 and 7.

Let's say I can get hired for this particular job, and I can negotiate my hours such that I will only need to work during school hours. I suppose that would be 3/4 time. What on earth do I do for summer vacation?? Put both children in those summer "day camps" for 13 weeks straight?

Extra $$ would be nice. Using my science brain again would be nice. Can it wait? I'm 40, so it's not as if I'm fresh out of college. What do other parents/moms do? Right now, I really like being able to be here for my children. I know this is a bit of a disjointed post, but any wise thoughts would be appreciated.

[JJ Irani]

Good thinking, Carolina.

In Summer, you could put your kids in a Day Care and weigh up the amount you'd be paying there against your total weekly earnings.

Summer doesn't last forever, so if you still come up trumps by the end of your financial year, I think the whole exercise would have been worth it.

If you can make an extra buck for yourself.....why the hell not?

[Dan Pierce]

How about the ever growing work at home jobs utilising the net? One thing I do know; if you keep at it, stay focused, and prove yourself, the cream always rises to the top.
Best of luck,
dP

[Carolina]

Originally Posted by Dan Pierce

How about the ever growing work at home jobs utilising the net? One thing I do know; if you keep at it, stay focused, and prove yourself, the cream always rises to the top.
Best of luck,
dP

Thanks, Dan. I would love to find something like that. I actually had someone offer me a part time position using the internet - unfortunately he decided to take his company in a different direction, and his needs changed as well.

I do feel very blessed that I am not in the position of needing to work, like so many moms.

[redshirt1957]

We, my wife and I, are in the exact same boat. Since we own our own businesses my wife takes the kids to school, comes to work at 9:30am and leaves at 2:00am and thus is home before the kids. Our kids ages are 5, 9, 13, and 14. This schedule works great until good ole' summer rolls around. We have found a place to take the 5 and 9 year olds. The place is a summer swim camp and the kids just love it so part of the problem is solved. Now, the 13 and 14 year old snots are a different story. Not many options available and we will not leave them at home alone under any circumstances. What do we do with them? They come to work with their mother. I know this is not an option for most and not much help with your question. During the summer months, not only do I get to see my wife at work, I get to see the kids. FYI...my wife sits ten feet from me!

[seantk]

Carolina,

What about getting a job with the school system and then you can have the summers off?

Here in Florida they are in desperate need of teachers and other assistants.

My wife is an elementary school teacher and it will work out good for her to spend the extra time with our 6 month old son over the holiday breaks and summer break. Prior to the birth of our son, she would travel one month each summer and teach. She spent one summer in England, one in China and one in Japan

Sean

[Carolina]

Originally Posted by seantk

Carolina,

What about getting a job with the school system and then you can have the summers off?

Here in Florida they are in desperate need of teachers and other assistants.

My wife is an elementary school teacher and it will work out good for her to spend the extra time with our 6 month old son over the holiday breaks and summer break. Prior to the birth of our son, she would travel one month each summer and teach. She spent one summer in England, one in China and one in Japan

Sean

I've considered and reconsidered that option. However, I am trained as a chemist, and have no experience in education. Plus, the more I volunteer at my children's school, the more I count my blessings that I do not teach for a living - I don't seem to have the patience. Thus, my lot in the school systems would be as low wage assistant in the classroom or cafeteria.

One other option I am considering is tutoring. However, the positons I have come across so far (that do not require certification) are afterschool.

[Carolina]

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

We, my wife and I, are in the exact same boat. Since we own our own businesses my wife takes the kids to school, comes to work at 9:30am and leaves at 2:00am and thus is home before the kids. Our kids ages are 5, 9, 13, and 14. This schedule works great until good ole' summer rolls around. We have found a place to take the 5 and 9 year olds. The place is a summer swim camp and the kids just love it so part of the problem is solved. Now, the 13 and 14 year old snots are a different story. Not many options available and we will not leave them at home alone under any circumstances. What do we do with them? They come to work with their mother. I know this is not an option for most and not much help with your question. During the summer months, not only do I get to see my wife at work, I get to see the kids. FYI...my wife sits ten feet from me!

Whoo! I guess you two really do love each other!!

Yes, it's definitely a delicate balancing act!

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Carolina

Whoo! I guess you two really do love each other!!

Yes, it's definitely a delicate balancing act!

I have worked with all of my wives so it is not a problem for me. Now if you ask their opinion about working with me: Different story. Hope you can make your situation work out.

[Lisa]

My first thought was a job that would let you have summers off, or that would let you work from home during the summers.... even if the pay isn't the greatest, it's better than nothing at all and you'd be getting to use your brain again.

I'd thought about freelance writing some before our third surprise kid showed up and put that on hold for a few more years. I'd love to have my own income again, and do some adult things again.

Any interest or opportunities for you do work in a research program that gives you flexible hours? Or temporary research jobs that are funded per-project? Whatever that means!? Like, if you had a medical school nearby...

[Carolina]

Originally Posted by Lisa

My first thought was a job that would let you have summers off, or that would let you work from home during the summers.... even if the pay isn't the greatest, it's better than nothing at all and you'd be getting to use your brain again.

I'd thought about freelance writing some before our third surprise kid showed up and put that on hold for a few more years. I'd love to have my own income again, and do some adult things again.

Any interest or opportunities for you do work in a research program that gives you flexible hours? Or temporary research jobs that are funded per-project? Whatever that means!? Like, if you had a medical school nearby...

Unfortunately, I have no research experience. All my experience lies in the analytical side of my field. I've even toyed with the idea of going back to school (non-chemistry, too rigorous with a family). That's another thread, though!

[Carolina]

Actually Lisa, two more questions for you. Aren't you in technical writing? (Maybe I'm thinking of someone else). And, are you the poster I'm thinking of that did voice over work in the past? If "yes" to either, I have more questions... Actually, PM me if "yes"!

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Carolina

Actually Lisa, two more questions for you. Aren't you in technical writing? (Maybe I'm thinking of someone else). And, are you the poster I'm thinking of that did voice over work in the past? If "yes" to either, I have more questions... Actually, PM me if "yes"!

Not technical writing - degree was in journalism. News and feature story writing. Speeches, brochure copy. And I love to edit, though you wouldn't know it by the quality of my grammar and spelling these days!

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Carolina

Unfortunately, I have no research experience. All my experience lies in the analytical side of my field. I've even toyed with the idea of going back to school (non-chemistry, too rigorous with a family). That's another thread, though!

Okay, can you describe to a lay person what an analytical chemist does?

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Lisa

My first thought was a job that would let you have summers off, or that would let you work from home during the summers.... even if the pay isn't the greatest, it's better than nothing at all and you'd be getting to use your brain again.

I'd thought about freelance writing some before our third surprise kid showed up and put that on hold for a few more years. I'd love to have my own income again, and do some adult things again.

Any interest or opportunities for you do work in a research program that gives you flexible hours? Or temporary research jobs that are funded per-project? Whatever that means!? Like, if you had a medical school nearby...

Surprise? Still believing in the ye' ole' "stork story", eh? I guess its time for a little birds and the bees talk with you young lady.

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

Surprise? Still believing in the ye' ole' "stork story", eh? I guess its time for a little birds and the bees talk with you young lady.

The first was planned, and the second was almost planned - we were starting to talk about "maybe next year" and BOOM. The third was mind-numbingly, earthshatteringly, shockingly unexpected. We just had a bit of a mechanical failure. When I showed my husband the positive test, his legs went out from under him - no joke! Nearly passed out.

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Lisa

The first was planned, and the second was almost planned - we were starting to talk about "maybe next year" and BOOM. The third was mind-numbingly, earthshatteringly, shockingly unexpected. We just had a bit of a mechanical failure. When I showed my husband the positive test, his legs went out from under him - no joke! Nearly passed out.

Too Funny!

[mlb]

I'd say go back as soon as you are ready, and capable with the children restraints. My mother stopped working after her third child (as a RN) and never went back - this was 26 years ago.

I say go use your skills, so you do not lose them

[East Bay Rider]

Originally Posted by Carolina

Let's say I can get hired for this particular job, and I can negotiate my hours such that I will only need to work during school hours. I suppose that would be 3/4 time. What on earth do I do for summer vacation?? Put both children in those summer "day camps" for 13 weeks straight?

I commend you for being ambitious and recognizing that you can work during the 6 hours per day that your children are at school.

My wife and I often have a very difficult time balancing 4 school vacation weeks in addition to 2-1/2 months summer vacation with our jobs and co-workers. I typically take the last 2 weeks of June off after school lets out but before camps begin. My wife and I try to share vacation days with other parents for the remaining days but as a result we cannot often all be home together at the same time.
My son spends his summers at karate day camp. He gets to socialize with his friends and play sports/goof off all day without the mind numbing TV or video games. After camp gets out at 3:00 he often remains until 5:00 and helps teach karate to students with lower ranks. He also does that on Saturday mornings too.
We are torn between the security of knowing that he's supervised and having more fun/activity there than he would at home but we cannot spend our vacation time together. For now it must be divided.
Luckily we appreciate our time together after work/school and on weekends and are seldom apart.

With ever evolving technology making it's way into mainstream homes many companies are encouraging part time work and work from home.
Even if you were to become a lunch lady, bus driver, crossing guard or teacher's aid it would still get you to get out of the house, put a few dollars in your pocket and help you to become active/well known in the school system but also allow you to be home after school.

[CPTL]

Carolina, my opinion can't be worth much as an unmarried 32-yo man with no children. However....

I think it's very noble that you still want to work, and I fully understand the need to use your mind. I also think you are extremely lucky to truly have a choice.

I, for one, feel that stay-at-home mothers are making a solid investment in their children's future, and by extension in all of our future. I was a latchkey kid, with two parents working full-time from as far back as I can remember. We weren't privileged.

As I've moved through life, including graduate school and professional fields, I see a high concentration of people in my age group with advanced degrees that had a full-time parent (mom). I don't know whether it's a financial correlation (people that came from educated parents who made more money and could afford to live off of one income) or a nurturing correlation (extra attention from the stay-at-home mom translated into children with better work ethic and personal values).

From this, I have observed a direct value from having full-time parenting. I expect to have children some day, and only hope that I can provide enough income to allow my wife (lucky lady that she'll be) to stay home. Clearly you don't need a full-time parent to succeed, but I promise you that I've met a lot of folks that went to top-tier grad schools, and a lot of Ivy-leaguers, and an overwhelming majority of them had stay-at-home moms.

I admire and applaud your current career choice. Your country needs more of you!

[Lisa]

Well, I think Lisa is a great mom! Thank you for your support, Kevin.




Phoebe, age 8

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Lisa

Well, I think Lisa is a great mom! Thank you for your support, Kevin.





Phoebe, age 8

Smart kid...just like her mom.

[Lisa]

Oops... I didn't put the child up to that.... more comments later, Carolina, but I'm making waffles!

[Lisa]

Carolina, if it was me, I'd look for something very flexible, even if that meant no benefits and not great pay. Just a little "work" - a few hours here and there - would be enough to fill my needs. But if it compromised the quality or amount of time with my kids, I don't think I'd want to do it.