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JohnBaker3 · 4 March 2015, 04:12 AM

One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Austin.

As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' to jump.
("fixin to" in Texas means getting “ready to”)

She stopped her car, rolled down the window and
said, "Please don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children."

He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."

She said, "Well, then you just remember the Alamo.'

He replied, ''What's the Alamo?''

She replied, 'Well, bless your heart! You just go ahead and jump...
you little Yankee Democrat Bastard...You're holding up traffic!

Kingair · 5 March 2015, 06:49 AM

Hahahaha haha

Hairdude1 · 5 March 2015, 11:28 AM

Ha!!!!

cop414 · 5 March 2015, 11:41 AM

Psmith · 5 March 2015, 08:19 PM

MonBK · 5 March 2015, 08:24 PM

Haha..:)

Rogdogg · 5 March 2015, 08:40 PM

Haha Very good

Gaijin · 5 March 2015, 09:55 PM

Lived in San Antonio for years. So accurate! The Alamo is sacred! Like every kid goes there on a field trip. In my junior high school we were required to study Texas History not US History. Love it!

Robert Cross · 6 March 2015, 04:20 AM

Texas you say........A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas.

After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than
let liquor touch my lips."
The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said....

"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

Bob

Bisquitlips · 6 March 2015, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnBaker3

One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Austin.

As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' to jump.
("fixin to" in Texas means getting “ready to”)

She stopped her car, rolled down the window and
said, "Please don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children."

He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."

She said, "Well, then you just remember the Alamo.'

He replied, ''What's the Alamo?''

She replied, 'Well, bless your heart! You just go ahead and jump...
you little Yankee Democrat Bastard...You're holding up traffic!

c41006 · 6 March 2015, 12:01 PM

Lololol

southtexas · 7 March 2015, 03:08 PM

Ha that was great!!

God bless Texas

watchwatcher · 16 April 2015, 02:35 AM

4 March 2015, 04:12 AM	#1
JohnBaker3 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Real Name: John Baker III Location: Spring,Texas Watch: 1971 Red Sub Posts: 2,222	Texas Lady One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Austin. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' to jump. ("fixin to" in Texas means getting “ready to”) She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father." He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump." She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children." He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids." She said, "Well, then you just remember the Alamo.' He replied, ''What's the Alamo?'' She replied, 'Well, bless your heart! You just go ahead and jump... you little Yankee Democrat Bastard...You're holding up traffic! __________________ As I've grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing off everyone is a piece of cake.

5 March 2015, 11:28 AM	#3
Hairdude1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Alex Location: Chicago Watch: AP,PP, Rolex Posts: 37,156	Ha!!!! __________________ Instagram: @Hairdude Watches in Collection 5070R, 5522A, 214270 MK1, 228238 16750, 26401, 5711, 116718, 116710LN, 116300, 16710"Coke", 372, 15300, 15703 (All Flipped) Official Member "Perpetual 30" Las Vegas GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas Int'l GTG 2018

5 March 2015, 11:41 AM	#4
cop414 TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Tim Location: Pennsylvania Watch: 14060M Posts: 72,780	__________________ Rolex Submariner 14060M Omega Seamaster 2254.50 DOXA Professional 1200T Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons TRF's "After Dark" Bar & Night Club Patron P Club Member #17 2 FA ENABLED

5 March 2015, 08:19 PM	#5
Psmith "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Clive Location: Exoplanet Watch: spring-driven Posts: 38,856	__________________

5 March 2015, 08:40 PM	#7
Rogdogg 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Bangkok Posts: 6,124	Haha Very good __________________ Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

5 March 2015, 06:49 AM	#2
Kingair "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: USA Watch: Not enough ;-) Posts: 21,233	Hahahaha haha

5 March 2015, 08:24 PM	#6
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,277	Haha..:)

5 March 2015, 09:55 PM	#8
Gaijin 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Japan Watch: ing your back. Posts: 16,173	Lived in San Antonio for years. So accurate! The Alamo is sacred! Like every kid goes there on a field trip. In my junior high school we were required to study Texas History not US History. Love it!

6 March 2015, 04:20 AM	#9
Robert Cross Banned Join Date: Feb 2015 Real Name: Bob Location: WNY Watch: ..the Pretty Girls Posts: 313	Texas you say........A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips." The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said.... "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice." Bob

6 March 2015, 12:01 PM	#11
c41006 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2015 Real Name: Joshua Location: Atlanta Watch: Pelagos Posts: 7,933	Lololol

7 March 2015, 03:08 PM	#12
southtexas 2025 Pledge Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Great State of TX Posts: 5,787	Ha that was great!! God bless Texas __________________ Forty six & 2 are just ahead of me. Follow me on Instagram @ccrolex

16 April 2015, 02:35 AM	#13
watchwatcher "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Larry Location: Kentucky Watch: Yes Posts: 35,187

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