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Old 6 September 2008, 07:47 PM   #1
rubiksolved
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life regrets

Hey guys,

In the course of my life so far I’ve come across plenty of people with regrets they’ve had in their own lives. And seeing how life is so incredibly short… I just kind of wanted to see what everyone else’s regrets are.

Career-life objectives?
Relationships?
Family?

It would be pretty cool to learn from each other’s *mistakes* or to see what we would do differently at your age. So I guess when you post… it’ll be cool if you posted your age along with your posting.

I know a lot of people out there also try to live without regrets... and even if you do, it'd be helpful to see something you'd change.. rather than regret.

Here’s mine:
I regret not spending enough time to keep in touch and to foster relationships with the significant people in my life. I feel like I’ve been too distracted with the other aspects of life (work and school primarily) that I just kinda lost touch with people I would rather not have lost touch with… I know its not too late.. but I feel like some relationships have deteriorated too much for full repair..
Age:22
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:01 AM   #2
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Not having enough sex!

Laugh it up or tut away but it's true.

When I left school I worked for a governmental department with a lot of older guys at near retirement age. These guys always went on about acting the gentleman, they were true old romantics.

I always was the gentlemen to all the girls I went out on dates with, took them out, paid for them, showed them a nice time and then left at the end of the evening, no pressure for a kiss etc.

Maybe went on a couple more dates, acted the same way!!!!

Many of these girls never got in touch again.

Years later, I met a few of them together in a pub and asked why they didn't return my calls or want to see me again!

They thought I was cold...one even told me I had a reputation for being frigid!!!!!!!!!

They wanted sex!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bah, I look back now and think of all that sex I could have had and didn't!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the memory!!!!!

*Sob

J
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:37 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Jimbits76 View Post
Not having enough sex!

Laugh it up or tut away but it's true.

When I left school I worked for a governmental department with a lot of older guys at near retirement age. These guys always went on about acting the gentleman, they were true old romantics.

I always was the gentlemen to all the girls I went out on dates with, took them out, paid for them, showed them a nice time and then left at the end of the evening, no pressure for a kiss etc.

Maybe went on a couple more dates, acted the same way!!!!

Many of these girls never got in touch again.

Years later, I met a few of them together in a pub and asked why they didn't return my calls or want to see me again!

They thought I was cold...one even told me I had a reputation for being frigid!!!!!!!!!

They wanted sex!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bah, I look back now and think of all that sex I could have had and didn't!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the memory!!!!!

*Sob

J
Ohhh J, you do really terrible mistake Buddy!!!
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:48 AM   #4
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Not having enough sex! J
Jim:

I more than made up for your loss. I started in High School and went non-stop until I met Elizabeth. It got so bad in college that I dated six or seven girls at a time and was having sex with all of them. What that did for me later in life was make me realize how empty this was though, I thought it was fun at the time.

A relationship is the greatest thing you can have in life. I've been married for 22 years and could not imagine not being this way. It's much more rewarding to have a partner to share the journey.

In other words, you didn't miss much. You've got a beautiful family. God's greatest gift.

Terry Newton
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Old 4 November 2008, 03:45 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Jimbits76 View Post
Not having enough sex!

Laugh it up or tut away but it's true.

When I left school I worked for a governmental department with a lot of older guys at near retirement age. These guys always went on about acting the gentleman, they were true old romantics.

I always was the gentlemen to all the girls I went out on dates with, took them out, paid for them, showed them a nice time and then left at the end of the evening, no pressure for a kiss etc.

Maybe went on a couple more dates, acted the same way!!!!

Many of these girls never got in touch again.

Years later, I met a few of them together in a pub and asked why they didn't return my calls or want to see me again!

They thought I was cold...one even told me I had a reputation for being frigid!!!!!!!!!

They wanted sex!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bah, I look back now and think of all that sex I could have had and didn't!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the memory!!!!!

*Sob

J
Ha! I was on holiday/vacation when this thread came out, so I must have glossed over it when I got back. Jim, this is hilarious, as I too was "too much the gentleman" in my younger years!

Oh well, at least I got through free of disease and out-of-wedlock unplanned kids!
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Old 4 November 2008, 03:48 AM   #6
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Ha! I was on holiday/vacation when this thread came out, so I must have glossed over it when I got back. Jim, this is hilarious, as I too was "too much the gentleman" in my younger years!

Oh well, at least I got through free of disease and out-of-wedlock unplanned kids!
You say that now Hollywood...back then it didn't feel like that!!!!!!!!

To hell with the diseases and kids...I'd have taken them for some hot action as a youngster!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, whatchoo talkin' bout Willis...I know the real truth about you and "that girl" as per the Skype chat

J
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Old 4 November 2008, 03:54 AM   #7
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You say that now Hollywood...back then it didn't feel like that!!!!!!!!

To hell with the diseases and kids...I'd have taken them for some hot action as a youngster!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, whatchoo talkin' bout Willis...I know the real truth about you and "that girl" as per the Skype chat

J
Hey, I'm not saying that I didn't get ANY action, but there was a time when I only did when the woman made the first move.
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Old 4 November 2008, 04:45 AM   #8
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Hey, there's nothing wrong with being a gentleman. When I first started dating my husband, it was really great to be with someone and not wonder if your date was actually an octopus in disguise. It's part of what made me fall in love with him!
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:08 AM   #9
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married to the ex....cleaned me out....
lost lots of money etc..at 30 I was broke and stsrted all over again
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:10 AM   #10
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Respect people and don't belittle them just because someone is different, they can offer a lot and open up new experiences. Don't be afraid of change because it makes you uncomfortable, that's how you grow and learn. Don't worry about the past concentrate on the future. Learning sex is not love.
Biggest regret is tracing my birth family and them not wanting to know.
Put family first and make time to talk and enjoy family gatherings.
Organise parties/dinners for friends to keep in touch.

Age 50 going on 19.
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:16 AM   #11
Jimbits76
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Respect people and don't belittle them just because someone is different, they can offer a lot and open up new experiences. Don't be afraid of change because it makes you uncomfortable, that's how you grow and learn. Don't worry about the past concentrate on the future. Learning sex is not love.
Biggest regret is tracing my birth family and them not wanting to know.
Put family first and make time to talk and enjoy family gatherings.
Organise parties/dinners for friends to keep in touch.

Age 50 going on 19.
Nice words you old git!!!!

You're a pretty decent guy for a Gooner!!!!

J

PS The guys at Dipples say hello!!!!!!
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:25 AM   #12
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Nice words you old git!!!!

You're a pretty decent guy for a Gooner!!!!

J

PS The guys at Dipples say hello!!!!!!
Thanks Jim, say hi to the guys at Dipples from me when you are next there
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:10 AM   #13
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Regrets?Probably that I ought to have cultivated greater ability to think for myself and learn from my mistakes. I had controlling parents who did too much thinking for me. I think as a result one loses confidence in themselves and has trouble taking responsibility for their own actions.

I'm 44. Luckily, my regrettable flaws did not land me in prison.
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:16 AM   #14
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I'm 44 too, Lisa. 40's are a transitional age, I think, and a big time for looking back over the first half of your life. Kids are leaving home. Parents are aging, dying even. I find myself really wishing I'd appreciated what I had more when I had it. So I guess my biggest regret is not understanding how precious my family was and how important those early years together were. Now we're all scattered and my dad is dying of lung cancer. Boy, I wish I could have a do over.

Jeannie
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:36 AM   #15
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I'm 44 too, Lisa. 40's are a transitional age, I think, and a big time for looking back over the first half of your life. Kids are leaving home. Parents are aging, dying even. I find myself really wishing I'd appreciated what I had more when I had it. So I guess my biggest regret is not understanding how precious my family was and how important those early years together were. Now we're all scattered and my dad is dying of lung cancer. Boy, I wish I could have a do over.

Jeannie
Beautifully written. My regret seems so small compared to yours.


My biggest regret is buying this gift store. The economy has tanked and I feel horribly trapped. My house would have been paid for in two years from now. I have a thirty year note that I could pay off with money in savings but I would lose a lot of my retirement options. So I watch this store make us very little money all the while all the money I make goes for our expenses. I sock away about 20K per year for retirement but am playing catch-up.

But, on the plus side, I have no car payments, no loans other than the house, no credit card debt whatsoever, and the ability to have emergency cash if I truly needed it. So I am in better shape than it feels. I will be in better shape in October when I get my raise and December when I cash out some vacation time and receive my bonus check. Also my TT GMT will be paid for. I am paying $635.00 per month for a 12 month, no interest payment. That's why the damage of the watch hurt so bad. It wasn't even paid off. All of my other watches I paid cash for.

I have very few other regrets as I've lived a good life. I could die today or tomorrow and be at peace with what I have done. Plus I've saved a lot of money and have a great life insurance plan. I'm also insured with a $1 million dollar umbrella. If I am killed doing what I love (bicycling) then Elizabeth will be well compensated. That is peace of mind as I just want her to be OK in spite of losing me.

Terry Newton
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:43 AM   #16
Lisa
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I'm 44 too, Lisa. 40's are a transitional age, I think, and a big time for looking back over the first half of your life. Kids are leaving home. Parents are aging, dying even. I find myself really wishing I'd appreciated what I had more when I had it. So I guess my biggest regret is not understanding how precious my family was and how important those early years together were. Now we're all scattered and my dad is dying of lung cancer. Boy, I wish I could have a do over.

Jeannie
Yes, Jeannie - I can relate to what you say. However, my husband and I have lived a rather unconventional life and in many ways we are where many people are who are much younger than us. Our kids are ages 1, 5 and 8. My husband changed careers in his early 30s and as a result about a decade was spent in upheaval - moving 3 times in the course of his training. We had no kids at the time, so it was an adventure. We're finally settling down, both in our mid-forties.

My folks are 86 and 79. Still pretty healthy, still making me crazy!
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:17 AM   #17
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Regrets?Probably that I ought to have cultivated greater ability to think for myself and learn from my mistakes. I had controlling parents who did too much thinking for me. I think as a result one loses confidence in themselves and has trouble taking responsibility for their own actions.

I'm 44. Luckily, my regrettable flaws did not land me in prison.
Lisa, Claire and I think you rock!!!!!!!!!!

You're the best and don't forget it!!!!

J, C and W!!!!!!
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:27 AM   #18
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A couple of things I've learnt:
1. Look forward - if you only think about "what if" in the past, it's vicious revolving circle and will get you nowhere.
2. If you're angry about things/people, etc - step back and put yourself in others shoes, take a deep breath and see how to resolve the issue.
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:27 AM   #19
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Complacency with my career.
I'm 41 and just now getting hungry for more. All my life I was getting by. Low expectations of myself I guess. Never knew I could be better. Thought I was destined to be in the level I was already in. Married, had a baby, bought a small house - just getting by. Same job since I was 23. Same routine. Probably common syndrome for small town folks - just never really exposed to better.
Regrets?
Not stretching over the wall and seeing my potential earlier. Being complacent with what my employer was willing to feed me. Not exposing myself to successful people and emulating what drove them there.
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Old 7 September 2008, 12:49 AM   #20
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Cheers Terry. Your words always mean so much to us all!

Thanks

J
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Old 7 September 2008, 02:36 AM   #21
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Cheers Terry. Your words always mean so much to us all!

Thanks

J
First, Terry was just saying that to make you feel better dummy!. Second, how about all the quality time you spent with yourself?. That should count for something.
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Old 7 September 2008, 04:59 AM   #22
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First, Terry was just saying that to make you feel better dummy!. Second, how about all the quality time you spent with yourself?. That should count for something.
As always; you can take a bad situation and make it a riot. I almost fell on the floor from this. Poor Jim.

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Old 7 September 2008, 05:06 PM   #23
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1.When my Mother passed away before my 2nd son is born. My Mother died in October 4, my son born in 24 October.
2.When I was collage I meet a nice girl. And she give her number in a small letter, and I lost it... She really pretty...
3. I sold all my comic books and action figure in cheap...
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Old 7 September 2008, 08:52 PM   #24
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My number 1 regret is that my kids never got to meet their grandfather. My dad died when I was 18, 6 years before I was married. I often wonder what could have been
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Old 7 September 2008, 09:32 PM   #25
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God is good...

...I have been truly blessed...I have a beautiful family, outstanding friends and have had a very successful career. Unfortunately my coaching took a lot of time away from my immediate family. Now that "the baby" is getting ready to graduate from high school, I regret not spending more time with her...where has the time gone? Here she is with her friends at a ballgame (she's the one in the middle, Samantha).



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Old 8 September 2008, 09:45 PM   #26
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When I was collage I meet a nice girl. And she give her number in a small letter, and I lost it... She really pretty...
Who's that girl?















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Old 7 September 2008, 01:14 AM   #27
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ex #1

ex #2

ex #3
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Old 8 September 2008, 06:40 AM   #28
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ex #1

ex #2

ex #3
X-2
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Old 7 September 2008, 01:35 AM   #29
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As many ex-wives as Rolexes. Not good.

But I look at life like Babe Ruth does. He held the record for most home runs, but he also held the record for the most strike-outs. So the further you reach up, the further you tend to fall at times.

I can scare the pants off of you with the bad things that happened to me. But I have done some wonderful things in my life to date as well. It's kind of like an absolute number. The further you go from zero, the more extreme things are, in either direction. I have covered the entire scale.

And I doubt I can eliminate regrets without eliminating the extremely good things too.
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Old 7 September 2008, 02:26 AM   #30
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I can't say I have any regrets. Any mistakes I made have always been learning opportunities.

I've been very fortunate in my life. I never really lacked for anything growing up. Even though my parents divorced when I was a teenager, that experience taught me how to deal with people. I decided in college what I wanted to do in life and I have done it for the past 40 years. I helped start a law firm when I was 38 and nearly 30 years later we have 100 lawyers. I've done very well in my practice, I have a wonderful wife who puts up with my sh!t and eccentricities, I have two great kids and a beautiful granddaughter. And I'm starting to slow down at work and really beginning to enjoy myself.

So no regrets, just thanks for all the bounty I have been given over the years.
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