can't fool a redneck

[figbo]

A Redneck From Georgia Decides To Travel Across The South
To Virginia To See God's Country. When He Gets To
Franklin, He Likes The Place So Much That He Decides To
Stay But First He Must Find A Job.



He Walks Into The International Paper Company Office And
Fills Out An Application As An Experienced Log Inspector.
It's His Lucky Day! They Just Happen To Be Looking For
Someone, But First, The Log Foreman Takes Him For A Ride
Into The Forest In The Company Pickup Truck To See How Much
He Knows.


The Foreman Stops The Truck On The Side Of The Road And
Points At A Tree. 'see That Tree Over There? I Want You
To Tell Me What Species It Is And How Many Board Feet Of
Lumber It Contains.'



The Redneck Promptly Answers, 'that Thar's A
Whitepine, 383 Board Feet Of Lumber In 'er.'



The Foreman Is Impressed!!! He Puts The Truck In Motion
And Stops About A Mile Down The Road. He Points At Another
Tree Through The Passenger Window And Asks The Same
Question. This Time, It's A Bigger Tree Of A Different
Class.



'that's A Loblolly Pine And She's Got About 456
Clear Board Feet.'



The Foreman Is Really Impressed With The Good Ol' Boy,
He Has Been Quick And Got The Answers Right Without Using A
Calculator!!!!



One More Test. They Drive A Little Further Down The Road,
And The Foreman Stops Again. This Time, He Points Across
The Road Through His Driver Side Window And Says, 'and
What About That One?'



Before The Foreman Finishes Pointing, The Redneck Says,
'white Oak, 242 Board Feet At Best.'



The Foreman Spins The Truck Around And Heads Back To The
Office A Little Ticked Off Because He Thinks The Red Neck
Is Smarter Than He Is. As They Near The Office, The Foreman
Stops The Truck And Asks Bubba To Step Outside.



He Hands Him A Piece Of Chalk And Tells Him, 'see That
Tree Over There? I Want You To Mark An X On The Front Of
That Tree!!'



The Foreman Thinks To Himself, 'idiot, How Would He
Know Which Is The Front Of The Tree?'



When Bubba Reaches The Tree, He Goes Around It In A Circle
While Looking At The Ground. He Then Reaches Up And Places A
White X On The Trunk.



He Walks Back To The Foreman And Hands Him The Chalk.
'that Thar's The Front ' The Redneck Says.



The Foreman Laughs To Himself And Asks Sarcastically,
'how In The Hell Do You Know That's The Front Of The
Tree?'



The Good Ol' Boy Looks Down At His Feet, While Rubbing
The Toe Of His Left Boot Cleaning It In The Gravel And
Replies,


'cuz Somebody Took A Sh*t Behind It!'

[Greenring]

Impeccable Logic, but I believe we are in grave danger, Captain....

[limbo]