Change that light bulb

[Goodwatch]

Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
A2: Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.

Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: None 'o yo' business!
A2: 50. 50? Yeah 50; its in the contract.

Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.

Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
A2: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: None. Thats a hardware problem.
A2: One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down^
A3: Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. That's a software problem.
A2: None. That's just have marketing to portray the dead bulb feature.

Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 472.One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q: How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has assigned your request Service Number 39712. Please use this number for any future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as a technician becomes available, you will be contacted.

Q: How many WordPerfect support technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Ok. Now, exactly how dark is it? Ok, there could be four or five things wrong . . . have you tried the light switch?

Q: How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: two holding the ladder and one to screw the bulb into a faucet.

Q: How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q: How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just noticed the room was dark; we don't actually fix the problems.

Q: How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light bulb works fine on the system in my office . . .

Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message.

Q: How many shipping dept. personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can change the bulb in 7-10 working days; if you call before 2pm and pay an extra $15 we can get the bulb changed overnight.

Q: How long does it take a DEC repairman to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on how many burnt-out lightbulbs he brought with him.

Q: How many Windows users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but s/he'll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy for him as it would be for a Macintosh user.

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

[Prince]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem.

Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a software problem.

Ohhhhh Yeahhhhh!!!!

[C.J.]

Just but a friggen candle, why don't you?

[JJ Irani]

[Prince]

Actually, my favorite is one that Frans did not include:

Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: NONE. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

[mailman]