Helicopter Parenting....whatcha think?

[Blansky]

As I've written before...back in my day...yada yada yada, we were pretty much left to our own devices from a pretty early age. Of course we had homework, and usually one sport a season, and maybe piano lessons, but on a Saturday or Sunday, we left the house at 9 in the morning and had to be back by dinner/supper time.

We had no idea that today we would be called feral.

That is definitely not the case now and in 1 to 2 generations we have moved to where everything is planned out, kids coddled, made the center of attention, etc etc...whatcha think??

Here's a couple of articles...

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/15/o...-ignoring.html

https://www.healthline.com/health/pa...pter-parenting

[pickettt]

Our parents would probably be arrested today for the neglect we experienced. BUT…that’s why we’re self sufficient and successful today. I wouldn’t have it any other way (as if I had a choice.)

[SDGT3]

As Gen Xers, we were called latchkey kids. Self sufficient, get on with it, rub dirt on it types. Generally speaking we're not easily offended by everything like others seem to be and/or sensitive to what is said by a stranger in social media. Motto: "It is what it is."

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by SDGT3

As Gen Xers, we were called latchkey kids. Self sufficient, get on with it, rub dirt on it types. Generally speaking we're not easily offended by everything like others seem to be and/or sensitive to what is said by a stranger in social media. Motto: "It is what it is."

Yep pretty much sums it up Gen X here … we survived a lot





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[Exceeder]

gen x baby, we used to catch lawn darts

[MichelleP]

Originally Posted by brandrea

Yep pretty much sums it up Gen X here … we survived a lot





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I used to lay in the back window of my moms car

[MichelleP]

I did the same on the weekends. After Saturday morning cartoons and lunch, we left the house riding our bikes or paying in the canyons (grew up in San Diego) or just roaming the neighborhood. Just had to be back by dinner.
I rarely wore shoes in the summer either.

[derekhayden]

Lets not even mention we didn't have phones or wearable trackers. Our parents had no clue where we were and what we were doing.....which in my case was probably for the best.

[JasoninDenver]

We have two teenage daughters in a neighborhood full of kids across the age spectrum.

We rarely, if ever, see kids playing in the street or around the hood. On weekends, they are playing one or more sports every day. When they get home, they go to sleep. Our next door neighbor has 2 a day hockey practice for her son three days a week and two games per week on top of that. He is 9. Their daughter does 3 hours of gymnastics three days a week. She is 7.

I literally cannot tell you what the 15 year old girl across the street looks like. Would not know her if she walked up to me.

We tried sending our girls out to meet and hang with other kids but they were never home. They have never even been in the homes of the two other girls their age on our block.

At one point, we tried having a group ride out the the open space to ride bikes and picnic. One mom called and asked "Who is going with them to supervise?" Needless to say, it was a No-Go.

We totally see a few parents going to the extreme with the helicopter parenting. One mom bitched me out for not being outraged that our kids got told to leave a Subway for not following the school's rules for offsite dining. She called the manager.

Honestly, I feel these parents are screwing the kids up. They have zero free time to explore the world on their own and are never allowed to learn to entertain themselves.

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by MichelleP

I used to lay in the back window of my moms car

We did too


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[hambone1983]

kids find means of escaping adult/parental supervision, even if every activity outside the home is chaperoned, coached, supervised, taught and guided. They do it online. I volunteer in a teen program so believe it when I say that they have an instagram account for public consumption and another private one that parents never see. They've completely abandoned facebook for "being for old people" and very much prefer snapchat for racier stuff because the content disappears

[BraveBold]

Kids need to be kids. Play and have fun.

Supervision is often required (especially below a certain age) but so is freedom.

Helicopter parenting is less a problem than mission control parenting. Where everything is planned, scripted and monitored for accomplishing some pre-ordained mission. Usually the parent’s own goals, transposed or projected onto their kids.

My kid’s kindergarten class sent home a page asking for parents’ goals for their kids for the year. Ours barely took up any of the allotted space and was simply “have fun and be safe”…

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by brandrea

We did too

We DREAMED of having a car. We'd just lay on the back of the horse.

[East Bay Rider]

Looking back it seems like the only meaningful interaction with my parents was getting chores or punished. At supper we'd tell about our day. They really had no idea what a day's plans were, only what had already happened. All they really cared about was that we didn't leave a mess, make a lot of noise, need a ride or money, or get reported for screwing up by school other parents. Otherwise we didn't really have to ask permission to go fishing or exploring. Looking back there no way they knew the right trails to even get to where my friends and I were, if we'd have ever needed help. But then again if we'd have ever needed help that would've just proven that we weren't ready for our freedoms and we have likely been grounded for bothering them. It was in everyone's best interests to become capable and confident. If we got caught smoking or lying there was hell to pay but otherwise as long as the supper story was a positive one and we did our chores, they felt like they were doing their job by keeping us fed and out of the elements.

When I grew up and had a kid, I learned that there is a little bit more to parenting than that. It must have worked because I have a better relationship with my (now grown) child than my parents.
Cats in the cradle indeed.

[MichelleP]

Originally Posted by Blansky

We DREAMED of having a car. We'd just lay on the back of the horse.

[BraveBold]

Originally Posted by Blansky

We DREAMED of having a car. We'd just lay on the back of the horse.

A horse you say?

Luxury!

We were lucky to lay in a cardboard box filled with rusty nails.

[gamingdoctor]

Nothing happens without a reason. There's a reason helicopter parents....helicopter.

[2ltdjorn]

I sat across from a woman who was proudly gloating that her child had been accepted to an ophthalmology program, after she wrote application and the essay required for admission.

That pretty much sums it up.

[pickettt]

I know you all won't believe this, but I took my son out of private school so he could experience and navigate some proper public school dust ups.

[Blansky]

Originally Posted by pickettt

I know you all won't believe this, but I took my son out of private school so he could experience and navigate some proper public school dust ups.

In private school don’t they just challenge their adversaries to a duel.?

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by Blansky

In private school don’t they just challenge their adversaries to a duel.?

Nope. Emerson, Aiden, nor Mason were prepared to get their cardigans dirty.

[enjoythemusic]

Thank goodness in many homes both parents have to work just to survive. It is double-good i tell ya it is as it makes the kids fend for themselves.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by enjoythemusic

Thank goodness in many homes both parents have to work just to survive. It is double-good i tell ya it is as it makes the kids fend for themselves.

It worked for our generation.

[BraveBold]

Originally Posted by pickettt

It worked for our generation.

Ah, yes, and the state of the world reflects this.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by BraveBold

Ah, yes, and the state of the world reflects this.

Yep, trauma and therapy running rampant everywhere. Everywhere under 40 anyway. I'm gonna stop, I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

[AzPaul]

The neighborhood I grew up in was pretty amazing. It was relatively new, with lots of young families and there were kids everywhere. "Go outside and I'll call you when dinner's ready", was the general rule for all of us and we'd be out messing around in the street or someone's yard, just about every afternoon. Bordering the neighborhood on one side was a large tract of undeveloped land and a big wash on the far side of that. It was a great place to go adventuring. And the thing was, back then, nobody thought twice about having your kids running around without supervision. We all did it. I was no older than five and was free to walk over to a friend's house and vice versa. Had to tell my mother where I was going, but no one thought it was strange for kids to be out on their own back then.

[enjoythemusic]

Originally Posted by pickettt

It worked for our generation.

Guess i'm more the Traditional parent. My truly inspiring wife / lover / Muse cooks / bakes / cleans.... Lead through example and all that, be there for them, show them life skills such as financing / math, 'car stuff', etc. To experience what a successful life partnership should be....

Perhaps dinosaurs like me will one day once again roam the Earth.Tho prob not given modern society's chosen trajectory.

PS: We're very good friends with ALL our neighbors, lend stuff out, etc. Ya know, being neighborly.

PPS: Tho seems they're kinda sorta abusing my skills to change quartz watch batteries and gaskets. Ah well, ya win some, you win some.

[White Collar Boy]

Originally Posted by JasoninDenver

Honestly, I feel these [‘copter] parents are screwing the kids up. They have zero free time to explore the world on their own and are never allowed to learn to entertain themselves.

100 per cent, Jason. I see it a lot and the kids seem anxious, which I think is because of it.

[77T]

Originally Posted by BraveBold

A horse you say?

Luxury!

We were lucky to lay in a cardboard box filled with rusty nails.

Cardboard box???
Paradise!!!

We had it tough. Get out of shoebox at midnight, lick road clean, eat a couple of bits of coal gravel, work 23 hours a day at mill for a penny every 4 years...and when we got home Dad would slice us in half with a bread knife.


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[77T]

So much of today's behavior seems to be a projection of yesteryear's missed opportunities by those who are hovering over their kids.

Imagine how those who are overly involved, controlling, and intrusive will closely supervise the grandkid’s activities and decisions.

Freedom to fail for kids in the parenting model does help build stronger decision makers - but it's a false choice when some esoteric wonk among the helo's choose to SWAT you.

Glad to know how many of you survived the last half of the 20th Century!


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