ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

Vernal · 24 August 2012, 07:09 AM

I just ran across this today and I thought I'd share. It's by a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist (2x, I think) named Gene Weingarten, who writes for the Washington Post. This one won't win any prizes, but does have a relevant tie-in for this forum.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifest...hCT_story.html

As he prefaced this column: "Another installment in my ongoing efforts to lose more readers by re-telling old jokes as bad poems."

The Lawyer’s Plea,
in the style of “The Village Blacksmith,”
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Under the spreading chestnut tree

The city lawyer rants,

His car a mashed-up wreck to see,

And blood upon his pants.

Up pulls a man in uniform

As the lawyer stamps and chants.

“My ride! My car! My Cadillac!”

The lawyer’s plaint doth ooze —

“My Prada suit’s ripped front to back,

My Bruno Magli shoes!”

All this the officer does note

Part sadly, part amused.

“You lawyers,” says the cop in scorn,

“Are scoundrels pure and utter.

It’s just for baubles that you mourn,

As you rage and rail and mutter,

Yet you don’t see your whole left arm

Is lying in the gutter!”

This shut the lawyer’s mouth at last

He stopped and looked about

The cop was right, he saw, aghast

Blood from a stump did spout.

So then he loosed a grieving wail —

“MY ROLEX” he screamed out.

MonBK · 24 August 2012, 07:10 AM

Always funny.

Art 1 · 24 August 2012, 07:19 AM

Chris B · 24 August 2012, 07:33 AM

Never gets old

Dob · 24 August 2012, 07:42 AM

Yeah, yeah. We are great fodder for jokes till you need us.

jolimont · 24 August 2012, 08:28 AM

hehehehe

Vernal · 24 August 2012, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dob

Yeah, yeah. We are great fodder for jokes till you need us.

Sorry, didn't mean to offend, perhaps just substitute your word of choice (well, your 2-syllable word of choice, to preserve the meter of the "poem") and try to enjoy the joke as a joke. "Lawyer" isn't integral to the joke, it was just the group he picked as a focus. As a matter of fact, his wife is an attorney. His nickname for her is "the Rib," to give you an idea of his sense of humor.

FeelingTheBlues · 24 August 2012, 01:24 PM

An oldie but goodie indeed!

z32turbo · 24 August 2012, 01:44 PM

Love it

77T · 24 August 2012, 02:03 PM

GradyPhilpott · 24 August 2012, 02:11 PM

I've never seen it in verse and it is certainly a fresh take on an old, but hilarious joke.

jasperlamarcrabbe · 26 August 2012, 06:09 PM

Nice!

brkanand · 27 August 2012, 11:54 AM

Such a fitting description!

24 August 2012, 07:09 AM	#1
Vernal "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Mid-Atlantic Watch: 116610LV Posts: 192	The Lawyer’s Plea I just ran across this today and I thought I'd share. It's by a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist (2x, I think) named Gene Weingarten, who writes for the Washington Post. This one won't win any prizes, but does have a relevant tie-in for this forum. http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifest...hCT_story.html As he prefaced this column: "Another installment in my ongoing efforts to lose more readers by re-telling old jokes as bad poems." The Lawyer’s Plea, in the style of “The Village Blacksmith,” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Under the spreading chestnut tree The city lawyer rants, His car a mashed-up wreck to see, And blood upon his pants. Up pulls a man in uniform As the lawyer stamps and chants. “My ride! My car! My Cadillac!” The lawyer’s plaint doth ooze — “My Prada suit’s ripped front to back, My Bruno Magli shoes!” All this the officer does note Part sadly, part amused. “You lawyers,” says the cop in scorn, “Are scoundrels pure and utter. It’s just for baubles that you mourn, As you rage and rail and mutter, Yet you don’t see your whole left arm Is lying in the gutter!” This shut the lawyer’s mouth at last He stopped and looked about The cop was right, he saw, aghast Blood from a stump did spout. So then he loosed a grieving wail — “MY ROLEX” he screamed out.

24 August 2012, 01:24 PM	#8
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	An oldie but goodie indeed! __________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

24 August 2012, 01:44 PM	#9
z32turbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Sea Level Watch: Varies Posts: 6,877	Love it __________________ Instagram @z32turbo

24 August 2012, 02:03 PM	#10
77T 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 42,017	__________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

24 August 2012, 02:11 PM	#11
GradyPhilpott 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: New Mexico Watch: Seiko #SRK047 Posts: 34,460	I've never seen it in verse and it is certainly a fresh take on an old, but hilarious joke. __________________ JJ Inaugural TRF $50 Watch Challenge Winner

24 August 2012, 07:10 AM	#2
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,279	Always funny.

24 August 2012, 07:19 AM	#3
Art 1 Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florida, Canada Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega Posts: 30,244

24 August 2012, 07:33 AM	#4
Chris B "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Peterborough Posts: 9,631	Never gets old

24 August 2012, 07:42 AM	#5
Dob Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Miami Posts: 359	Yeah, yeah. We are great fodder for jokes till you need us.

24 August 2012, 08:28 AM	#6
jolimont "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Real Name: Will Location: land of oz Watch: sundial Posts: 2,219	hehehehe

26 August 2012, 06:09 PM	#12
jasperlamarcrabbe "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 17	Nice!

27 August 2012, 11:54 AM	#13
brkanand 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: DrK Location: India Watch: 4=YMDaytonaGMTHulk Posts: 7,052	Such a fitting description!

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