A Few Blond Jokes

[padi56]

Q. Did you hear about the new blond paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
Q. What did the blond’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q. How does a blond part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.

Q. What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!

Q. Why do blonde's wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q. What's a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme

Q. Why did the blond like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!

Q. Why don't blonde's use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.

Q. How does a blond like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilised

Q. Why do blonde's like tilt steering?
A. More headroom

Q. Why is a blond like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.

Q. What's the difference between a blond and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Q. What does a screen door and a blond have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

Q. What do you call 20 blonde's in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes

Q. What do you call a dumb blond behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.

Q. How can you tell a blond has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blond have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q. What's the difference between a blond and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

Q. How did the blond burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.

Q. What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A. Brain tumour.

Q. Why does a blond insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q. How would a blond punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....

Q. Why is a blond like an old washing machine?
A. Because they both drip when they're f**cked!

Q. What does a blond say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"

Q. What do you call a blond with a runny nose?
A. FULL

Q. What happened to the blond tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q. Why did the deaf blond sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.

Q. Why is it good to have a blond passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.

Q. What do you call a blond with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant

Q. What's the difference between a blond and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747?

Q. What's the difference between butter and a blond?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.

Q. What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. What do you call it when a blond dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you call a blond standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.

Q. What do blonde's and cow sh*t have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.

Q. What's the difference between a blond and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!

Q. What does a blond say the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!

Q. What do smart blonde's and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.

Q. Why did the blond stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.

Q. What's the difference between a blond and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.

Q. How can you tell if a blond has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.

Q. Why do blonde's wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.

Q. What is a brunette between two blonde's?
A. An interpreter.

Q. What's the difference between a blond and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.

Q. Did you hear about the blond that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it...

Q. What did the blond say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"

Q. Why do blonde's have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends

Q. What do blonde's and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up

Q. What does a blond and a turtle have in common?
A. Get'em on their back and their both f**cked.

Q. What do you call a blond with pig tails?
A. A blow job with handlebars

Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
A. A golden retriever.

Q. What do you call a blond in the closet?
A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.

Q. How can you tell that a blond sent you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.

Q. What do you call a room full of blonde's with PMS and yeast infections?
A. A wine and cheese party!

Q. How do you drown a blond?
A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Q. Hear about the blond that bought an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.

Q. What did the blond say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!

Q. How can you tell a blond has used your computer?
A. There is white out on the screen.

Q. Why are blonde's like 7-Eleven stores?
A. Open 24 hours a day.

Q. Why did the blond throw bread crumbs down the toilet?
A. To feed the toilet duck!

Q. What's the difference between a blond and a pair of sun glasses?
A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.

Q. Why do blonde's always drink with straws?
A. Practise.

Q. Why do blonde's put their hair in ponytails?
A. To cover the valve stem.

Q. Why should blonde's not be given coffee breaks?
A. It takes too long to retrain them.

Q. What's the difference between a blond and a guy?
A. The blond has the higher sperm count.

Q. How is a blond like peanut-butter?
A. They spread for the bread.

Q. What's the difference between a group of blonde's and a good magician?
A. The magician has a cunning array of stunts