Gotta love the South

[pz93c]

Tennessee

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he
decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from the University of
Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus
14%, how much would you take off?'

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, 'Everything but my
earrings.'

Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos
for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering

under the weight of an eight-point buck.

'Where's Henry?' the others asked.

'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail,' the successful hunter replied.

'You left Henry laying out there and carr ied the deer back?' they
inquired.

'A tough call,' nodded the hunter. 'But I figured no one is going to
steal Henry!'

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his
pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, 'Why are you dumping
garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head'.
'Yep', he replied.
'That's why I'm dumpin it here, cause it says 'Fine For Dumping
Garbage'.

Louisiana

A senior at LSU was overheard saying... 'When the end of the world
comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .' When asked why, he replied he'd
rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20
years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to
his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking lot!'

Bubba replied, 'Did you see who it was?'

The young man answered, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his license
number.'

Georgia

A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper
asked, 'Got any I.D.?'

The driver replied, 'Bout whut?'

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the
road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car
and one behind it.

Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as
he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back.
He asked the fellow what the problem was..

The man replied, 'I have a flat tire.'

The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?'

The man responded, 'When you break down they tell you to put flares in
the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make no sense to me
neither.'

And this from South Carolina

'You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of
anyone wanting to retire to the North