Orange Planet Ocean

[Goodwatch]

A spokesperson for the Rotterdam St. Fransiscus Hospital issued the following statement regarding the case of one of their patients, Mr. H. (Dutch legislation prohibits the further use of said patient’s full name).

Professor Doctor Derksen, the eminent Dutch Dermatologist, had discovered the cause of Mr. H’s disease. It seems to be purely psychological and although it was touch-and-go, the patient is now stable. Before becoming comatose, the patient was heard uttering the following strange comment: “I only followed JJ’s advice” and this enhanced the opinion it is psychological.

Prof. Derksen has come up with a cure, but it is a highly experimental and still untested procedure. And the patient is condemned to undergo this treatment for the rest of his natural life. He has to wear a Rolex Submariner Date or a Rolex Sea-Dweller on either wrist, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Mr. H’s fellow forum members already have started to collect funds for the benefit of his treatment and are confident they can present the hospital with a Rolex “very soon”. One of them explained very moved: “he sacrificed himself to save the rest of us, this is the least we can do”. More to follow.