Is it time to walk away?

[hambone1983]

I'll just say this...you can always file for divorce tomorrow. But once that's done there is likely no turning back.

I once read that the offending party in an affair has to be prepared to apologize for his/her actions until their spouse is done being angry & hurt, for years if necessary. If you've told her to get over it or just kind of tried to make peace without addressing it, many aggrieved spouses take that as insufficient contrition.

Saying she did nothing wrong is incorrect. Several years of petulance is indeed very wrong. Whether it is an equivalent amount of "wrong" on her part is irrelevant. There is work to be done by both parties, or there is no way forward.