Alert Levels.

[padi56]

Remember this is only a Joke,and not meant to offend anyone.

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the
level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'! Soon though, the

levels may be raised yet again to "irritated or even “a bit cross"!! Londoners
have not been a "bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorised from "tiresome" to "a bloody
nuisance", the last time a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued
was during the great fire of London in 1666.



Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has
raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE. The only two higher
levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate.

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's
white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert,
The Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and
wave arms about excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,"ineffective combat operations" and "change sides if it suites".


The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful
arrogance" to "dress in uniform and goosestepp and sing silly marching songs". They have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone
from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle
east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are
"attack again if that dont work"Then "beg the British for help".

Finally here in GB we've gone from "pretend nothings happening" to
"make another cup of tea". Our higher levels are "remain resolutely
cheerful" and "win the cricket".