Speeches for the Deaf Society

[idk01]

An English, A Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speeches to the Deaf
Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.

The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by
rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman
and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

"Well!" he explained, "by rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus
Ladies. And by rubbing my groin, I indicated balls, and thus Gentlemen.
So my speech started 'Ladies and Gentlemen' ".

On his way up to the podium, the Scotsman thought to himself "I'll go one
better than that English bastard", and he started his speech by making an
antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest
and his groin.

When he finished, his colleagues asked what he was doing.

"Well" he explained "By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin,
I was starting my speech by saying 'Deer Ladies and Gentlemen' ".

On his way up to the podium, the Irishman thought to himself 'I'll go one
further than those mainland bastards', and he started his speech by making an
antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest and then his groin, and then
masturbating furiously.

When he finished, his colleagues asked him what *he* was doing.

"Well" he explained, "by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my
groin, and then *masturbating*, I was starting *my* speech by saying:
'Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me _great_ pleasure......."