The 5 stages of drunkeness

[idk01]

Stage 1 - SMART

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known
Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge
to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of
course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an
interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING

This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the
entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger
knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you.Bear in mind that
you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject
under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH

This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You
can buy drinks for the entire bar, because you have an armoured truck
full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this
stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win
all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You
will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the
BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF

You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially
those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing
can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the
people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have
no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and
hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE

This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything
because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people
who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you.
You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk
through the street singing at the top of your lungs, because no one can
see or hear you, and because you're still SMART you know all the words.