My wife's very angry!

[ParisDakarBmw]

I screwed up pretty bad this weekend. I had a new Rolex piggy bank going, and decided to add to it without the wife knowing. It didn't turn out good for me, or my poor dog Bandit.

For starters, I want a used Seadweller 16660, and have been stakcing back lunch money, and things like that for a few months. I saw a golden opportunity to stack $75 in my little rat hole under the table. This is where things went south.

My wife and I have 3 Yorkshire Terriers. It has finally started getting warm again, and the biggest male is Bandit. He started to look like a stray dog, and his fur was not washing well in the bath. I was given "Orders" from my sweet wife. This was to take Bandit to the dog groomer on Saturday, and have his hair trimmed, and nails clipped. He was to get a shampoo, and his ears cleaned. Simple. $65 for the haircut, and a $10 tip. She gave me $75 cash.

My loving wife went to work Saturday afternoon for the evening shift at the hospital. I was getting dressed to take the dog for his trip. As my wife pulled out of the driveway, I slipped into my jogging shorts, and grabbed bandit from his crate. He was rushed to the bathroom where I rolled up the rugs, and plugged in the clippers. I turned on the radio, and after oiling the clippers I sat down with the dog. I had planned to give him a quick trim, shampoo, cut his nails, and pour a little peroxide in his ears, and pocket the $75. I even had the little scarf the groomer puts on the dog so he will look cute when you pick him up.

Things didn't go as planned. I clipped his front nails, and one started to bleed. This got all over me and the bathroom floor. I could clean the floor with bleach, and she still wouldn't know. I started clipping him with no guard, and he fought me the entire time. I had to get scissors to finish the detail work. I put him in the bath, and the entire bathroom smelled of dog. I cleaned his ears fine, but I think my wife might be able to see he didn't go to the groomer after all.

I scrubbed the bathroom, and mopped every inch. I went to sleep, and just figured my wife would forget about it.

I was awoken this morning to an angry pregnant woman yelling about Bandit. She said he looked like he was sick, and I has no business doing that to her dog. Well, you guys can see the pictures. I didn't think it looked that bad!

Notice my ability to follow AKC grooming standards for the breed....