Tech Support (An Oldie but a Goodie)

[CoolRich59]

Tech Support: "Customer technical support; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

TS: "What sort of trouble?"

C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

TS: "Went away?"

C: "They disappeared."

TS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

C: "Nothing."

TS: "Nothing?"

C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

TS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

C: "How do I tell?"

TS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

C: "What's a sea-prompt?"

TS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

C: "What's a monitor?"

CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

C: "I don't know."

TS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

C: "Yes, I think so."

TS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

C: ".......Yes, it is."

TS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

C: "No."

TS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

C: ".......Okay, here it is."

TS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

C: "I can't reach."

TS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

C: "No."

TS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

TS: "Dark?"

C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

TS: "Well, turn on the light then."

C: "I can't."

TS: "No? Why not?"

C: "Because there's a power outage."

TS: "A power ... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

TS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

C: "Really? Is it that bad?"

TS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

TS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."