Alcohol Warning Labels

[jasonbellevue]

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning
labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol
containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and
panties.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love
them.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the
opposite sex without spitting.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and
better looking than most people.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your
ass kicked.

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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tihnk you can tipe real
gode.

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