A Christmas Story.

[padi56]

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole fooking works!

I've busted my arse for a bloody near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got pissed and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has aids.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those arseholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent me Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little sh!ts
I spent a whole year making waggons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--Not one request for them,
All they want computers,games,and robots they think I'm IBM!
except one young lad Tyler who wants a Rolex watch Subem

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat arse and draw unemployment payment.

There's no Christmas this year, now you know the reason
I found me a buxom blond, I'm going SOUTH for the season

And just to let you know,I will spend all my time doing this
now this is my once and for all, my final last wish.