A little blonde humor to cheer you all up.

[Dr. Robert]

A friend told the blonde, "X'mas is on a Friday this year."
The blonde then said, "Let's hope is not the 13th."

2 blondes had 3 grenades, & they decided to take then to the police station.
1 asked, "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other one says, "We'll lie & say we only found 2."

A blonde is in the bathroom, & her husband shouts, "Did you find the shampoo?"
She says, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do.......it's for dry hair & I've just wet mine."

A blonde goes to the vet w/ her goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," she tells the vet.
The vet takes a look & says, "It seems calm enough to me."
The blonde says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."

A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND"
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

A blonde woman & her neighbor were talking. The neighbor said, "Close your curtains the next time you & your husband are having sex...the whole street was watching & laughing at you yesterday."
The blonde replied, "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

A blonde's dog goes missing & she's frantic.
Her husband says, "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
She does, but 2 weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" her husband asks.
"Here boy!" she replies.

A blonde man is in jail. A guard looks in his his cell & sees him hanging by his feet.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"It should be around your neck," says the guard.
"I know," the blonde man replies, "but I couldn't breathe."

A blonde was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly she has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop pulls her over, so she tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about."

A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, & her contractions are only 2 minutes apart."
"Is this her 1st child?" asks the doctor.
"No," he shouts, "this is her husband."

A blonde asks another blonde, "Why do scuba divers always fall backward off their boats?"
The other blonde replied, "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."