You don't know Jack.

[padi56]

Well next time someone accuses you and says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" ... tell 'em this:

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, had married his cousin O. Schitt
... a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married his second cousin Noe Schitt ... and the deeply religious couple produced SIX children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins ... Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married a distant cousin Dumb Schitt, a high school drop-out ... it was a childless marriage.

After 10 years of marriage, Jack Schitt and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married a Mr Sherlock ... and as her kids continued living with her she wished to retain her Schitt name ... thus she was known as
Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Her daughter Dip Schitt then married her third cousin twice removed Loda Schitt and they had a son named Chicken Schitt ... he was very nervous!

Daughters Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and started courting the Happens brothers whom they subsequently married in a dual ceremony. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens couples had several kids between them ... Dawg, Byrd, Hoarse, Parit, Watt and Mak .

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world ... and he recently returned from Italy with his new bride ... Pizza Schitt ...

So ... next time some one says to you, " Geez!! You don't know Jack Schitt!!" ... you can correct them ... and tell 'em you know the whole family!!

Oh!! ... Almost forgot ... Bull Schitt bought his wife a new watch for her birthday ... and had her name engraved on the back!!