Unintended applications

[Gedanken]

Two octogenarians are sitting outside the door of one of the old dears, having a ciggie, when the rain starts to fall.

At this, one of the old ladies reaches into her bag, removes a condom, snips off the end, and slips it over her cigarette.

"What's that?" asks the second old lady.

"It's a condom," replies the first, "and its really good for keeping your cigarette dry when a light rain like this comes on."

So, the next day the second old lady goes into the chemists and asks for some condoms. The young assistant is quite taken aback by this request from such an elderly customer, but quickly composing himself asks how many she requires.

" I can't handle as many as I used to" she says, " I think twenty should see me through until tomorrow".

The young assistant has to pick himself up from the floor, but determined to act in a dignified and composed manner, asks the old lady if she has a preference for colour, flavour or texture.

"I'm not really sure", she says, "so long as it fits a Camel".