Farting Problems.

[padi56]

Woman ballet dancer visits her Doctor.
Doctor,I have this very embarrassing habit.
Prey tell,me says the Doctor.
Well, every time I do my pirouette.......I break wind, but fortunately, there's no smell.
I see, he said give me a demonstration.
She promptly goes into a lightning pirouette on the tips of her toes, makes a very loud ripping fart, which sends the Dr. reeling into a state of collapse, and grasping his nose in a desperate fight for fresh air.
Bloody hell, says the Dr., gasping for odour free air.
No smell you say,says he in a weak voice,do that again will you.
She quickly throws herself into another spinning whizz, farts with a cloth ripping thrutch...and again sends the Dr. onto the side of his desk, and frantically gasping for fresh air.
There she says,it's a very embarrassing noise,but fortunately,no smell.
You think not, gasps the Dr.
Well madam,I'm recommending a small operation.
Goodness me, Dr I'm nervous of an operation on my tender posterior.
Do not be concerned, says the Dr,it's your f'king nose I'll be operating on!!!
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An elderly couple were attending a church service. About halfway through the service the woman leans over to her husband and whispers, "I just let out a silent fart and it might smell. What do you think I should do?"

Husband replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid dear."