"stella Awards"

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Dear God please may this fair old country of Great Britain never ever reach these heights of bullshit stupidity, as our Americans friends accross the pond.

Time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The
Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilt
hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That
case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous,
successful lawsuits in the United States .

Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas , was awarded
$80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a
toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the
store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie): 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000.
and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Mr.Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the
wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol , Pennsylvania , was
leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He
was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door
opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the
door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.
The family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the
garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a
large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowners insurance claiming
the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the
tune of $500,000. In my opinion this is so outrageous that it should
have been 2nd Place !

4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock , Arkansas , was awarded
$14,500.and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his
next door neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's
fenced yard.
The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have
been just a little provoked at the time, by Mr. Williams who had
climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly
with a pellet gun.

3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of >Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft
drink and broke her coccyx (tail-bone). The beverage was on the floor
because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.

2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont , Delaware , successfully sued the
owner of a night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the
bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth.
This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window
in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was
awarded $12,000. and dental expenses.

1st Place : This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City , Oklahoma . Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new
32-foot Winnebago >motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU
football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise
control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back
& make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway,
crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising
her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury
awarded her $1,750,000.00 plus a new motor home. The company actually
changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there
were any other complete morons around.
Bet the fat cat lawyers were all very grateful.