The Rolex Forums   The Rolex Watch

ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX


Go Back   Rolex Forums - Rolex Forum > General Topics > Jokes & Cartoons
Reload this Page Best dad jokes
Register FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Reply
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 Last »
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 17 September 2023, 07:14 AM   #1
Madman37
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,039
Best dad jokes
Post best dad jokes here i will start

I went to a bee keeper and asked for 12 bees. He gave me 13. I said sir you gave me one extra. He said that’s a free bee.
Madman37 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17 September 2023, 08:02 AM   #2
Porschen
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 245
A Vick’s Vaporub truck crashed during rush hour this morning. Despite blocking multiple lanes, there was no congestion.
Porschen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17 September 2023, 08:08 AM   #3
AzPaul
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
 
AzPaul's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: Paul
Location: Tucson, Az
Watch: Rolex 1501
Posts: 13,738
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
__________________
Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender
AzPaul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17 September 2023, 04:45 PM   #4
Madman37
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Porschen View Post
A Vick’s Vaporub truck crashed during rush hour this morning. Despite blocking multiple lanes, there was no congestion.
ha ha
Madman37 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17 September 2023, 04:45 PM   #5
Madman37
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by AzPaul View Post
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
my kid loved it
Madman37 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19 September 2023, 09:56 AM   #6
THC
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
THC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Real Name: Tom
Location: Mandeville La
Watch: 126333
Posts: 10,659
What do ticks and the Eiffel Tower have in common?

They are both ParisSites
THC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20 September 2023, 11:37 PM   #7
brandrea
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
brandrea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Real Name: Brian (TBone)
Location: canada
Watch: es make me smile
Posts: 77,678
I showed my wife this thread …. She simply gave me an eye roll
brandrea is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 21 September 2023, 10:09 PM   #8
NewEnthusiast
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Real Name: James
Location: Great Britain
Watch: Air King/Seamaster
Posts: 565
Quote:
Originally Posted by brandrea View Post
I showed my wife this thread …. She simply gave me an eye roll
That's the highest form of acceptance of a dad joke isn't it?
NewEnthusiast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21 September 2023, 10:17 PM   #9
brandrea
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
brandrea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Real Name: Brian (TBone)
Location: canada
Watch: es make me smile
Posts: 77,678
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewEnthusiast View Post
That's the highest form of acceptance of a dad joke isn't it?
You know what... I think you're right!

Sent from my SM-G960W using Tapatalk
brandrea is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11 October 2023, 04:59 AM   #10
WatchmeTimepiece
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2023
Real Name: Francisco
Location: Huntington Beach
Watch: Tudor Ranger
Posts: 35
What do you call a cow with no legs?.......Ground Beef! hahahahaha!
WatchmeTimepiece is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15 October 2023, 06:19 PM   #11
Petroc Tremaine
"TRF" Member
 
Petroc Tremaine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Doggerland
Posts: 215
What do you call a dinosaur that has gone blind?

Idonthinkhesaurus
Petroc Tremaine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15 October 2023, 09:42 PM   #12
HHIslander
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: May 2020
Real Name: Henry
Location: USA
Posts: 4,288
Wife kept complaining I was horrible with directions. So I packed my bags and right.
HHIslander is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16 October 2023, 02:58 AM   #13
yfagcagek
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2023
Location: US
Posts: 1
Bump!
It's a nice collection you have there

Sent from my vivo Y55A using Tapatalk
yfagcagek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19 October 2023, 01:59 PM   #14
Tri-Tip
"TRF" Member
 
Tri-Tip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: CA, USA
Watch: Out!!!
Posts: 6,470
Quote:
Originally Posted by WatchmeTimepiece View Post
What do you call a cow with no legs?.......Ground Beef! hahahahaha!
Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
Tri-Tip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21 October 2023, 07:35 AM   #15
Houstongator
2024 Pledge Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Real Name: jb
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,258
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels
Houstongator is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26 October 2023, 09:25 AM   #16
AzPaul
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
 
AzPaul's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: Paul
Location: Tucson, Az
Watch: Rolex 1501
Posts: 13,738
There was a kidnapping at my son's school.
The teacher woke him up.
__________________
Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender
AzPaul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26 October 2023, 09:37 AM   #17
brandrea
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
brandrea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Real Name: Brian (TBone)
Location: canada
Watch: es make me smile
Posts: 77,678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Houstongator View Post
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels
brandrea is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 8 November 2023, 08:37 AM   #18
ltmgeller
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
ltmgeller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Real Name: Mike
Location: New York
Watch: Rolex
Posts: 22,466
Quote:
Originally Posted by HHIslander View Post
Wife kept complaining I was horrible with directions. So I packed my bags and right.
__________________
Oh, look at the time...
Official Member: 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas International GTG 2019
ltmgeller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14 November 2023, 10:00 AM   #19
Houstongator
2024 Pledge Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Real Name: jb
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,258
If you see a crime at an Apple store, are you an iWitness?
Houstongator is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16 November 2023, 05:39 AM   #20
Shmoopy
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2021
Location: USA/EU
Posts: 375
What is a pirate's favorite letter? (Pause for everyone to say "RRRRRRRRRRRR")

Said in my best pirate voice "AAAAARRRRRRR, you'd think that, but it's actually C"
Shmoopy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20 November 2023, 08:01 AM   #21
Raaabs
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2023
Location: Norway
Posts: 1
When does a regular joke become a dad joke?
…
…
When the punchline becomes apparent
Raaabs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21 November 2023, 11:10 PM   #22
AzPaul
2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member
 
AzPaul's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: Paul
Location: Tucson, Az
Watch: Rolex 1501
Posts: 13,738
Bono and Edge walk into a bar
The bartender says, "Not U2 again"
__________________
Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender
AzPaul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 November 2023, 01:23 AM   #23
Madman37
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,039
These are all so good thanks for posting i use them all
Madman37 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 November 2023, 03:53 AM   #24
ltmgeller
2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member
 
ltmgeller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Real Name: Mike
Location: New York
Watch: Rolex
Posts: 22,466
Love these
__________________
Oh, look at the time...
Official Member: 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas International GTG 2019
ltmgeller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 November 2023, 07:36 PM   #25
Number3
"TRF" Member
 
Number3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: London
Watch: 114060LB
Posts: 3,971
When I was a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft.

I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.
Number3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 November 2023, 10:31 PM   #26
DoricSpiker
2024 Pledge Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,494
When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DoricSpiker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24 November 2023, 06:46 PM   #27
Number3
"TRF" Member
 
Number3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: London
Watch: 114060LB
Posts: 3,971
What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
Number3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25 November 2023, 07:01 AM   #28
Zandy411
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2023
Real Name: Zack
Location: newyork
Watch: Rolex
Posts: 4
What do you call a frozen grape? A chilled vine!
Zandy411 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25 November 2023, 02:04 PM   #29
Ted Shred
"TRF" Member
 
Ted Shred's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Real Name: Kevin
Location: Canada
Watch: Rolex/ Ω
Posts: 658
A man rushed to see his doctor and, in a panic, exclaimed "Doc! As you can see I shrunk to 3'6" overnight. Please help!"

The doctor calmly replied, "Don't worry, you'll just have to be a little patient."
__________________
Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so
Ted Shred is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27 November 2023, 02:53 AM   #30
Number3
"TRF" Member
 
Number3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: London
Watch: 114060LB
Posts: 3,971
I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.
Number3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 Last »

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Takuya Watches

My Watch LLC

OCWatches

Asset Appeal

Wrist Aficionado

DavidSW Watches


*Banners Of The Month*
 This space is provided to horological resources.



Contact Us - The Rolex Forums - Archive - Top


Copyright ©2004-2024, The Rolex Forums. All Rights Reserved.

ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

Rolex is a registered trademark of ROLEX USA. The Rolex Forums is not affiliated with ROLEX USA in any way.