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Old 3 May 2015, 08:30 PM   #1
padi56
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British Humour.

Boy comes home and tells his parents he has just had sex for the first time.

The proud Dad says 'I'll buy you a bike to celebrate, but you will have
To wait until next pay day"

The boy replies 'that's all right Dad, my arse is too sore to ride it anyway'

------------------------------------------------------------
Had my first Gig as a stand up comedian at an old people's home last
Night. They didn't get any of my jokes but they still piss#d themselves.



What is the medical term for the fatty tissue surrounding the clitoris?
The wife.
-----------------------------------------------

Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, 'How dare you call me a
Slapper, get out of my bed right now and take your f****ing mates with
You
-----------------------------------------------------

I was at Tesco this afternoon, when a lady dropped dead in front of me,
I felt really sorry for her - she had just bought one of those plastic carrier bags for life.
----------------------------------------------------

Teacher says to little Tommy 'Why weren't you at school yesterday?'
Tommy says 'My grandfather got burnt' Teacher says 'Badly?' Little Tommy
Says 'Yes, they don't f*ck about at the crematorium.'

----------------------------------------------------------------
A friend of mine says he is making love to twins, I said ' How can you
Tell the difference?' He said ' Her brother has got a mustache".
-------------------------------------------------

A charity pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals
Descended into chaos yesterday when somebody shouted 'He's behind you!'
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Old 3 May 2015, 09:56 PM   #2
rootbeer7
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Brilliant. My kids are asking why I'm nearly crying!!!
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Old 4 May 2015, 05:59 AM   #3
rootbeer7
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Clearly only 2 of us with a great sense of humour!!
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Old 4 May 2015, 06:37 AM   #4
MonBK
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:)
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Old 4 May 2015, 06:46 AM   #5
yannis
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Old 4 May 2015, 08:15 AM   #6
Poly
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Old 4 May 2015, 08:39 AM   #7
swatty
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Old 4 May 2015, 09:32 AM   #8
AK797
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Love the crematorium and Old people's home ones, think I'll nick em.
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Old 4 May 2015, 12:25 PM   #9
Hairdude1
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Old 4 May 2015, 08:18 PM   #10
Psmith
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Old 4 May 2015, 08:28 PM   #11
Andad
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You are disgusting Peter.
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Old 4 May 2015, 11:03 PM   #12
Bangel
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Old 17 May 2015, 12:17 PM   #13
watchwatcher
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Old 19 May 2015, 12:30 AM   #14
Ascotshoes
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Love it....
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