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idk01 · 1 December 2009, 12:39 AM

* Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

* One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

* Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

* If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and apes?

* The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
bad girls live.

* If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they
all still working?

* Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't
going as ghosts but as mattresses?

* And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

* If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?

* Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

* What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?

* If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

* Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

* If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?

* How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

* What was the best thing before sliced bread?

* I'm not schizophrenic. You only think we are.

brkanand · 1 December 2009, 12:48 AM

Wow!

limbo · 1 December 2009, 05:20 AM

JJ Irani · 1 December 2009, 05:22 AM

brietlingman · 1 December 2009, 10:44 AM

Steven Wright fan, eh Dave? Thanks for the chuckles ...

Cheers!
Bill

sleddog · 1 December 2009, 10:46 AM

Loved it Dave.......!

FourthWheel · 1 December 2009, 11:09 AM

And why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds?

sandytn · 2 December 2009, 01:27 AM

swatty · 2 December 2009, 06:21 PM

Warnsboy · 3 December 2009, 03:36 AM

1 December 2009, 12:39 AM	#1
idk01 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Dave Location: Australia Watch: DJ16233TT Posts: 18,485	Thoughts for the day * Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. * One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. * Atheism is a non-prophet organisation. * If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? * The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. * If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? * Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses? * And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? * If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? * Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" * What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? * If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? * Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? * If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? * How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? * What was the best thing before sliced bread? * I'm not schizophrenic. You only think we are. __________________ *Apprentice to Terry Newton; Superstar and Fake Sleuth*

1 December 2009, 05:22 AM	#4
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

1 December 2009, 10:46 AM	#6
sleddog TRF Moderator & 2024 SubLV41 Patron Join Date: Jul 2007 Real Name: Rob Location: Nearby. Posts: 24,931	Loved it Dave.......! __________________ He who wears a Rolex is always on time, even when late!! TRF's "After Dark" Bar & Nightclub Patron-Founding Member..

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1 December 2009, 12:48 AM	#2
brkanand 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: DrK Location: India Watch: 4=YMDaytonaGMTHulk Posts: 7,052	Wow!

1 December 2009, 05:20 AM	#3
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

1 December 2009, 10:44 AM	#5
brietlingman Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Real Name: Bill Location: central Florida Watch: Sea Dweller Posts: 97	Steven Wright fan, eh Dave? Thanks for the chuckles ... Cheers! Bill

1 December 2009, 11:09 AM	#7
FourthWheel Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Real Name: Alan Location: Sydney Watch: Milgauss 1019 Posts: 27	And why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds?

2 December 2009, 01:27 AM	#8
sandytn Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Sandy Location: NJ Posts: 713

2 December 2009, 06:21 PM	#9
swatty 2024 SubLV41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,415

3 December 2009, 03:36 AM	#10
Warnsboy "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Real Name: Michael Location: Midwest-USA Watch: 5513 Posts: 1,942

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