ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

padi56 · 2 September 2005, 07:50 PM

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who offered a solution:

"The good news is that I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realised that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need-a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job.", the salesman said.

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see 34 sleeve and ... 16 and a half neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"

Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9 and a half ... wide."

Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure."

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see ...size 36."

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

AJC · 3 September 2005, 05:12 AM

A clean and very cheeky little number.

JJ Irani · 3 September 2005, 05:15 AM

Good one for a clean and bright Saturday morning!!

configsys · 9 September 2016, 04:11 AM

I repeated this joke years ago at work and it brought the whole place down.

MonBK · 9 September 2016, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by configsys

I repeated this joke years ago at work and it brought the whole place down.

Out of 14, 059 jokes in the "jokes" section you managed to dig up a 16 year old thread to say you told it before?

swatty · 9 September 2016, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonBK

Out of 14, 059 jokes in the "jokes" section you managed to dig up a 16 year old thread to say you told it before?

11 years old

cop414 · 9 September 2016, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonBK

Out of 14, 059 jokes in the "jokes" section you managed to dig up a 16 year old thread to say you told it before?

Quote:

Originally Posted by swatty

11 years old

The responses are almost as good as the original joke!

MonBK · 9 September 2016, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swatty

11 years old

+ tax.

Psmith · 9 September 2016, 11:33 PM

As funny as it was 4,025 days ago!

Hairdude1 · 10 September 2016, 05:17 PM

BBL · 12 September 2016, 07:10 PM

You're ALL funny! good chuckle.....
Have a nice day! DM

htbilgic · 14 September 2016, 01:23 PM

You guys crack me up! Cheers!

Rebel · 14 September 2016, 10:04 PM

Oldie but a Goldie!!!!

2 September 2005, 07:50 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 53,176	Headache Cure Drastic measures. Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who offered a solution: "The good news is that I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realised that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need-a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job.", the salesman said. Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see 34 sleeve and ... 16 and a half neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9 and a half ... wide." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see ...size 36." Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

3 September 2005, 05:15 AM	#3
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	Good one for a clean and bright Saturday morning!! __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

9 September 2016, 11:33 PM	#9
Psmith "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Clive Location: Exoplanet Watch: spring-driven Posts: 38,856	As funny as it was 4,025 days ago! __________________

10 September 2016, 05:17 PM	#10
Hairdude1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Alex Location: Chicago Watch: AP,PP, Rolex Posts: 37,156	__________________ Instagram: @Hairdude Watches in Collection 5070R, 5522A, 214270 MK1, 228238 16750, 26401, 5711, 116718, 116710LN, 116300, 16710"Coke", 372, 15300, 15703 (All Flipped) Official Member "Perpetual 30" Las Vegas GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas Int'l GTG 2018

14 September 2016, 10:04 PM	#13
Rebel "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Real Name: Dr Mark R Nail Location: New Albany Watch: Tudor Sub 75090 Posts: 8,287	Oldie but a Goldie!!!! __________________ ------------------------------- Member of the Nylon Nation

3 September 2005, 05:12 AM	#2
AJC Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 1,878	A clean and very cheeky little number.

9 September 2016, 04:11 AM	#4
configsys "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Mountain Time Posts: 138	I repeated this joke years ago at work and it brought the whole place down.

12 September 2016, 07:10 PM	#11
BBL "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2015 Real Name: DM Location: USA Watch: DD-YG/DJ/Breitling Posts: 8,948	You're ALL funny! good chuckle..... Have a nice day! DM

14 September 2016, 01:23 PM	#12
htbilgic "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2014 Location: Chicago Watch: Doxa Pro 300 NoT Posts: 535	You guys crack me up! Cheers!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode