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Old 30 June 2012, 03:18 AM   #1
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The ten Marriage Commandments!‏

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said .
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.
That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
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Old 30 June 2012, 08:06 AM   #2
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Old 30 June 2012, 08:23 AM   #3
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Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir,
Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire,
J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout,
On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout.


- André Fortin
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Old 30 June 2012, 05:06 PM   #4
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Where do you get these? They're gold!
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Old 8 July 2012, 12:23 AM   #5
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Does anyone really know what time it is?
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