The NeverEnding Story

[away36]

Feel free to join in...................

Late one dark and chilly evening, Jimbits sat down with his favourite beer to enjoy a challenging game of Wii...............................

[Goodwatch]

.... when all of a sudden, he heard an eerie scream and voices whispering in the dark...

[Tools]

.........Surely, he thought, it couldn't be voices from TRF... I know I turned the sound off on that darned thing..

Besides.....most of those gits wouldn't know how to properly haunt a Lucas Electric system, let alone a computer...

It must be something else causing those eerie, soulless, melancholy cries in the dark...................

[James T]

jj, wii is the famous nintendo video game console..so hard to find these days as it is always soldout.. here in my part of the country anyway..A distinguishing feature of the console is its wireless controller, the Wii Remote, which can be used as a handheld pointing device and detect movement in three dimensions....

[away36]

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

.

Check this out JJ!

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=54Ky2Pg4w-Y

[away36]

Originally Posted by Tools

.........Surely, he thought, it couldn't be voices from TRF... I know I turned the sound off on that darned thing..

Besides.....most of those gits wouldn't know how to properly haunt a Lucas Electric system, let alone a comumpter...

It must be something else causing those eerie, soulless, melancholy cries in the dark...................

......it's Bubba, wandering aimlessly around his new slip, beer in hand....searching for...

[Tools]

Originally Posted by away36

......it's Bubba, wandering aimlessly around his new slip, beer in hand....searching for...

......Lisa.....

...................Or perhaps not......could it be....

[S/SOnly]

A stalking Panda, drunk on Bamboo infused Vodka, or....?

Originally Posted by Tools

......Lisa.....

...................Or perhaps not......could it be....

[jdc]

Originally Posted by S/SOnly

A stalking Panda, drunk on Bamboo infused Vodka, or....?

no it was his alter ego Bitsy resplendent in nothing but surgical stockings, pink boa, and carpet slippers looking for a spare toilet roll

[away36]

Originally Posted by jdc

no it was his alter ego Bitsy resplendent in nothing but surgical stockings, pink boa, and carpet slippers looking for a spare toilet roll

...but alas!...none could be found, because the beautiful Princess Claire, stretched to the limits of her tolerance had finally decided she would replace them no more...and so poor Bitsy had no choice but to..................

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by away36

...but alas!...none could be found, because the beautiful Princess Claire, stretched to the limits of her tolerance had finally decided she would replace them no more...and so poor Bitsy had no choice but to..................

buy Bubba a beer, since Bubba's wii was as great as the light saber DimBulb76 had always wanted to present to Claire.......and what a presentation it was, with Martin also carrying the torch.....with Johnny Cash singing.......I hear the train a comin' It's rollin' 'round the bend, And I ain't seen the sunshine, ...

[BLSampson]

...and the train was full of sheep saying...JJ....JJ...JJ...we miss you daddy...

[Incurable]

Disarmed by the bayful ululations of the revered Johnny, Claire finds herself in a moment of weakness and lures Bubba closer with that long, sultry glare of mutual acknowledgement... Mind blurred with the fury of passion, Bubba attacks his quest with the thunder of Thor. Never before can Bubba remember volcanic, mad monkey, monster truck passion like this. After what seemed like forever, the eventual end was reached. Completely exhausted and gasping for air, Bubba slowly sits back astonished at his own prowess and skill at the most ancient of arts...

Lighting a cigarette, he smugly looks over to Claire only to be met with a blank stare. In her usual continent tone she says, "What, you change your mind now? When were you planning to start?"...

[Incurable]

Pondering for a moment in disbelief, Bubba hears a muffled voice come from the closet. Sounded like someone said, "Tosser"...

[JJ Irani]

Originally Posted by Incurable

Pondering for a moment in disbelief, Bubba hears a muffled voice come from the closet. Sounded like someone said, "Tosser"...

And as Bubba headed toward the closet and opened the door......he wended his way through the maze of fur coats and found himself in Narnia!!

[Leighton]

.. which began the riff in the space time continuum... The Wii became real as captain James T. Bubba slid on his boots and left the maiden sleeping peacefully in his quarters......

[jdc]

Originally Posted by Leighton

.. which began the riff in the space time continuum... The Wii became real as captain James T. Bubba slid on his boots and left the maiden sleeping peacefully in his quarters......

back at the Enterprise Spock was confronted in the transporter room with boxes of teddy bears. They all seem untouched, they just stared at him saying nothing. The leader seemed to be a bear called Rupert and the second in command Paddington. Spock used the Vulcan mind weld on Paddington.................marmalade sandwiches what did this mean, were they Klingon envoys???

[Jimbits76]

Originally Posted by jdc

no it was his alter ego Bitsy resplendent in nothing but surgical stockings, pink boa, and carpet slippers looking for a spare toilet roll

The sun had risen, shards of orange light penetrating the room, their dappled effect staining the floor with the geometric shapes of some great unfinished puzzle.
The dawn illumination allowing some reference of his surroundings, Jim was able to quickly survey his immediate surroundings.
Nineteen twenties Art Deco, broken and unloved for decades, a layer of mildew, mould and damp neglect adorning the furniture and fittings like a twisted layer of frosting on a stale, ornate wedding cake.
Already it was warm, the air almost thick enough to taste.
A rivulet of perspiration tickled Jim’s ear as the humidity of the dawn increased with each degree of the sun’s unflinching gaze.
Jim’s clothing was damp, his shirt soaked in sweat.
His neck irritated from the chafing of his sodden collar.
He needed to shave!
At that very moment however, personal grooming was the very least of Jim’s worries.
Sat less than six feet away from him was the most prominent of his thoughts! His greatest cause for concern!
Bitsy!
The embittered wraith remained still! Silent!
Stripped of his ‘Mardi gras’ finery, Bitsy’s twisted, naked form remained as frozen now as it had throughout the night.
He has watched Jim, his still eyes not even blinking for what had seemed like an eternity. His cold, hard stare, a seldom crack allowing a perverted grin, a look of smug satisfaction so sickening, so unnerving it could have initiated a Holy war.
Jim surveyed his surroundings briefly, his eyes focusing upon a glass filled with a colourless liquid.
Jim reached for the glass and picked it up, regarding the contents for a moment before draining them into his throat.
He allowed the clear contents to slide into his mouth, swilling it around slightly before swallowing.
It bit for a moment or two before spreading into a harsh burn on his palette.
The inhalation of the moist dawn atmosphere left notes of juniper on his taste buds.
“The Dutchman has been at the bathtub botanicals!” Jim thought silently as he inspected the stained, empty glass.
“Fraud!”
The silence had been shattered by the creature opposite him, the single word lengthened and hissed as if it were the very breath of life escaping the Gargoyle’s scarred lungs.
Bitsy’s sour grin twisted and transformed into something altogether more revolting.
A broader smile exposing a stained maw of broken stalagmites and stalactites, a vision of horror, still he did not blink!
Jim spoke softly, his voice alien in this environment.
“You have something to say, Freak?”
“Fraud!” Bisty hissed again before letting out a soft, sickening chuckle which reminded Jim of something raw, wet and surgical.
“I have no idea what you are talking about! What do you want from me?” Jim replied.
The wraith blinked!
It did not go unnoticed.
Bitsy’s voice became louder.
“These people, do they really know you?”
“What?”
“Do they really know you? Do they know who you are?”
Bitsy paused and smiled once more, “What you are?”
Jim hesitated for a moment, “They are my friends.”
The goblin cackled, a noise resembling an animal regurgitating its prey.
“Friends? If only they knew what we know James!”
Jim remained calm, “They do!”
Yet another guttural cackle, “Hah! They know the persona. All they see is the mask you hide behind, they see the lie.”
“They see the truth!”
“Lies!” The creature shrieked, “They know nothing of you, nothing of your past, your deeds. If only they knew the ebon core of your heart or the tar black pits of your soul. Would they understand?”
“Some would.” It sounded more defensive than he wanted it too.
“You think they care?
“Yes!”
“What of the others?”
“They will know soon enough! My penance will be by ink and paper.”
Bitsy grinned once more, “The book?”
The words came out slowly, the pronunciation lengthened as if he indulged in their sound. Bitsy tapped his forefingers together as he contemplated, his long, pale, gnarled digits tapping out a slow rhythm.
He leaned towards Jim, “Dreams! That dream is nothing but shadow and dust. Unfulfilled angst and pathetic lament crippled by your emotions!”
“I don’t understand?”
Bitsy leered, his bloated tongue flicking across his thin, grey lips.
“Fear!”
Jim shifted uncomfortably, “I am not afraid of anything.”
The creature cackled once more.
“Fearful you are. Mindful of failure, weak and afraid you have become. It has poisoned your heart!”
“You’re lying!”
“Am I? You are frightened of the truth! You fear the dream coming to an end and being left with only the ashes of failure. You do not reach for the stars for fear of only having further to fall!”
Jim coughed and tasted something new, warm and saline with a slightly ferrous tang.
He spat a glob of bright crimson onto the timber floor, its viscous scarlet richness painting a horrific Rorschach impression onto the bare wood.
Bitsy smiled again, his lips parting to reveal the jagged horror of his teeth once more.
“Self doubt! You feel it don’t you? Even now it grows inside you like a cancer, eating away at any positivity and o0nce again bringing you closer to the abyss. Oblivion waits for you. Your fate is shrouded in darkness.”
Jim allowed himself a brief flash of smile, “Fool! You know nothing of me. There is light in my soul. My heart beats with love and passion. Those that care about me steady my course, steer me from the oncoming tempest. My friends will see me through!”
Bitsy blinked again, “Your friends know nothing of you. The wit, the barbs, the frivolity, that is what they see. You fear them seeing the real you and so you have constructed a character, one not unlike something from your beloved literature, a carefree fool. You have built a mask, a shield to hide behind and conceal the truth. Afraid that the world would not be interested in the real you.”
Jim laughed, “Drivel!”
The creature continued, “You present a fabricated mythology, a twisted representation of your Super Ego, inflating your desires to create a Superman. You have built yourself into something you wish you were. You are little more than the dashing wag, his razor wit cutting others to shreds with little concern for the feelings or emotions of others.”
“That is untrue. I care about a great many things. I want to make people happy; I want to see them laugh. Is that so bad?”
“Vanity! You do these things for self satisfaction. You project this fable and feed from their plaudits. Vampyre! You drain the very goodwill you create to stoke the furnaces of your shattered self opinion.”
“Nonsense! You talk bilge gangrel!” Jim snorted.
“Do I? Not so different are we James. You take strength, feeding from the positive energy, the acclaim and the credit whereas I require the fear, the pain, and the dissolution.”
Bitsy shifted, crawling along the bare timber floor in a strange, inverted method of moving on all fours.
The absurd positioning, the spastic movement and the awkward shifting of his weight between his palms and the soles of his feet reminded Jim somewhat of a crab.
He was upon Jim in seconds, his gaunt, malnourished features only inches from Jim’s own.
Bitsy peered at Jim with his haunting eyes, inkblot pupils amongst the jaundiced sclera like oil floating on a sea of yellowing tides,
The whispered, overly prounounced hiss returned, “Brothers we are, both alike, separate sides of the same coin!”
Bitsy raised his fingers and thumb in front of Jim’s face.
His whisper became unnerving, “Reach down, deep inside. Find the strength to complete what you have started. Show the world the balance within you. Draw on the love offered to find your dreams.”
Bitsy smiled before continuing in a low, barely perceptible hiss, “The key! The key lies with the Kiwi!”
Bitsy snapped his fingers, making Jim flinch and blink.
He was alone.
The gargoyle was gone.
A rush of breath flowed from Jim’s body as the aggression and fear drained from him.
Still disturbed, he gathered his few belongings and prepared to leave.
As he passed through the mould infested kitchen, something caught his eye.
It was a plate, a plate so clean and its sanitary whiteness shining like a beacon amongst its festering surroundings.
On the plate was a small note and what looked like a processed meat item wrapped in a fried cereal coating with a small wooden handle projecting from one end.
Jim tossed the congealed snack away and looked at the note.
It read:
“JuniorBalls76, the adventure has only just begun. Continue to find the truth. I would help you but I have a cold six-pack to drink and I also threw my back out last night when I was humping your mom. Your pal, Bubba!”

[Uncle-AJ]

Realising the congealed mess was in fact mushy peas, Jim scooped it up, spread it on a butty, jumped into his trusty Ford Focus, set the GPS for Bubba's and set off to find his destiny............

[Trurolexer]

What you're talking about, Guys?

[JimSnyder]

Originally Posted by Trurolexer

What you're talking about, Guys?

The Corndog Chronicals

[Alcan]

.........when Oliver Sudden........... remember Oliver?..

[toph]

Originally Posted by Uncle-AJ

Realising the congealed mess was in fact mushy peas, Jim scooped it up, spread it on a butty, jumped into his trusty Ford Focus, set the GPS for Bubba's and set off to find his destiny............

But somwhere near white Hart Lane, all of a sudden a strange feeling came over Jimbits, shaking uncontrollably he pulled over to the side of the road.....

[JimSnyder]

Because suddenly it dawned on him. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten something

[Uncle-AJ]

He knew he needed something solid inside him if he was to stomach another Spurs defeat.....

[toph]

Originally Posted by Uncle-AJ

He knew he needed something solid inside him if he was to stomach another Spurs defeat.....

a corn dog, or a bagel and smoked salmon, what was it to be .....

[Uncle-AJ]

Originally Posted by toph

a corn dog, or a bagel and smoked salmon, what was it to be .....

As he didn't have a corn dog license or knew what a bagel was, he lit up a salmon and smoked that...........

[toph]

Originally Posted by Uncle-AJ

As he didn't have a corn dog license or knew what a bagel was, he lit up a salmon and smoked that...........

and it went up in flames just like spurs chances of winning a game. Thus Jim started his car again and off to find Bubba he went......

[JimSnyder]

who by the way, is in seclusion at his lake house staring at the twins next door

[toph]

Originally Posted by JimSnyder

Who by the way is in seclusion at his lake house staring at the twins next door

and is adamant that it was money well spent, but what will Jimbits think when he arrives....