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Old 2 November 2008, 05:56 AM   #1
Carolina
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Dear Tech Support...

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support


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Old 2 November 2008, 05:58 AM   #2
toph
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Old 2 November 2008, 06:46 AM   #3
limbo
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Old 2 November 2008, 08:43 AM   #4
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Good one!
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Old 2 November 2008, 10:57 AM   #5
JJ Irani
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Brilliant.....loved the last bit!!
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Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!!

I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!
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Old 2 November 2008, 01:10 PM   #6
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Carolina,
I read that Husband 6.0 is filled with similar problems and increases, supposedly, the risk of infection by Rolexitis 5.0 and RolexForumosorus 3.1 by 20x; can you confirm that this information is accurate?

In advance, thanks (my wife is concerned about the upgrade and wants the info).
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Old 2 November 2008, 01:22 PM   #7
Carolina
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Dave, Tech Support's call center has been swamped with reports of these two new viruses. The best option to date is to install RomanticLoveLetter 1.2, restart computer, and walk away...
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Old 2 November 2008, 01:31 PM   #8
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What a coincidence, my wife just got an email offer to try the beta version of RomanticLoveLetter 1.3!!! Thanks, I'll forward the tip.
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Old 2 November 2008, 05:01 PM   #9
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