E.O.L. it happens to us all

[Barbara_C]

As Jim said no one here gets out alive....
While I was on my train trip one of the older gents ....he was 76 .......not that much older than me.... Told his wife one morn he was going to die that day and get all the out he wanted to look over them. His wife and my walking buddy of mine..... she kinda humored him and got them out of their safe....told her husband she was walking across the street to H,E.B. to pick up some stuff for dinner and she would be back in 30-40 mins....when she came back he was dead on the kitchen floor.....she asked me being a hospice nurse have i ever seen this ....yes.

Ive seen patients talking to dead family members etc....like they were sitting on the bed with them etc....they had only been married for 4 years both her and first wife/husband
had died from cancer....now at 75 she is alone again....im going to go see if she needs help. Life can be so cruel....at any age

[77T]

I can tell from your narrative that this has been very upsetting.

I guess she is going through many second thoughts and the shock will take a while to absorb.

I'm hoping each forthcoming day will improve a bit more by reflecting on their life together.

All of this is for the next chapter of our existence - he apparently had a Transcendental moment.

How he came to see the face of death is a bit spooky and somehow led him to seek a connection to his collection as something important.

Hope your visit goes well...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Maleg]

My grandmother knew she was on her last day and my grandfather sat with her all day until she slipped away. These moments are hard. We all end up at this same destination... remembering the journeys we shared with those we've lost is the solace we have when they pass.

[cop414]

Barbara, I’m sorry to hear about this, that’s a haunting story. Having lost both parents within the last four years it makes me realize more than ever that our time here is limited. Some day will be the last I love you, the last hug to a grandchild, the last goodbye. It makes you think, changes you really, it’s changed me.

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by cop414

Barbara, I’m sorry to hear about this, that’s a haunting story. Having lost both parents within the last four years it makes me realize more than ever that our time here is limited. Some day will be the last I love you, the last hug to a grandchild, the last goodbye. It makes you think, changes you really, it’s changed me.

Same situation Tim, lost my Stepfather and less then four years later my mother. It’s a challenging time that no child looks forward to. Only thing I can say is they are both (all) in a much better place now, free from any worries or physical challenges, and some day, I’ll see them again.

[cop414]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

Same situation Tim, lost my Stepfather and less then four years later my mother. It’s a challenging time that no child looks forward to. Only thing I can say is they are both (all) in a much better place now, free from any worries or physical challenges, and some day, I’ll see them again.

I agree, you never really know that strange loneliness until you’ve lost both of your parents.

[1st amg]

Originally Posted by cop414

I agree, you never really know that strange loneliness until you’ve lost both of your parents.

As many of you know, my father passed 7 years ago. About 1 year ago, I almost lost my mother. That was traumatic to our whole family. Tim, I cannot imagine being alone with no parents. Like an orphan. I am sure you begin to question where and how you came about, and think of all the life lessons they taught you. I am not looking forward to this one day.

[cop414]

Originally Posted by 1st amg

As many of you know, my father passed 7 years ago. About 1 year ago, I almost lost my mother. That was traumatic to our whole family. Tim, I cannot imagine being alone with no parents. Like an orphan. I am sure you begin to question where and how you came about, and think of all the life lessons they taught you. I am not looking forward to this one day.

Nick, yes so true. Funny that long forgotten memories come to the forefront at this point in my life. Things that I haven’t thought about in decades with my Mom and Dad suddenly become so vivid.

[cop414]

Several weeks ago I stopped by my daughter’s house to visit with her and my grandson. She was making chili and asked if I wanted some. Her chili tastes EXACTLY like my Moms. Sitting in her kitchen and closing my eyes I was 15 again, sitting in my childhood home at the kitchen table.
It amazes me that certain tastes, smells and sounds bring back decades old memories and they are so vivid.
Cherish your parents and loved ones, some day all that you’ll have will be the memories.

[brandrea]

Barbara, that’s a very impactful story, thank you for sharing it with us.

I lost my Dad last September. He made it to he and mom’s 65th wedding anniversary and he died the very next day. Mom said she knew he was going to make it to their anniversary and he did.

My dad loved to go for car rides in the countryside of Waterloo County. It’s dairy country here and he was a farmer. I have a recording of dad singing a song to my mom on one of those car rides… “You Are My Sunshine”. Miss you dad.

[Tick Tock Tick Tock]

Originally Posted by Barbara_C

As Jim said no one here gets out alive....
While I was on my train trip one of the older gents ....he was 76 .......not that much older than me.... Told his wife one morn he was going to die that day and get all the out he wanted to look over them. His wife and my walking buddy of mine..... she kinda humored him and got them out of their safe....told her husband she was walking across the street to H,E.B. to pick up some stuff for dinner and she would be back in 30-40 mins....when she came back he was dead on the kitchen floor.....she asked me being a hospice nurse have i ever seen this ....yes.

Ive seen patients talking to dead family members etc....like they were sitting on the bed with them etc....they had only been married for 4 years both her and first wife/husband
had died from cancer....now at 75 she is alone again....im going to go see if she needs help. Life can be so cruel....at any age

That really pulled at my heart strings. I had a similar experience when my mum died 6 years ago.

There is a saying that I became aware of when my son was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, the saying is - We are here for a good time, not a long time, so don't sweat the small stuff.

I have a hard time remembering this saying when I need it most...

I sincerely hope your friend can see thru these dark days.

Kindest regards

Dave

[1William]

Originally Posted by Barbara_C

As Jim said no one here gets out alive....
While I was on my train trip one of the older gents ....he was 76 .......not that much older than me.... Told his wife one morn he was going to die that day and get all the out he wanted to look over them. His wife and my walking buddy of mine..... she kinda humored him and got them out of their safe....told her husband she was walking across the street to H,E.B. to pick up some stuff for dinner and she would be back in 30-40 mins....when she came back he was dead on the kitchen floor.....she asked me being a hospice nurse have i ever seen this ....yes.

Ive seen patients talking to dead family members etc....like they were sitting on the bed with them etc....they had only been married for 4 years both her and first wife/husband
had died from cancer....now at 75 she is alone again....im going to go see if she needs help. Life can be so cruel....at any age

It is always difficult to deal with the loss of a love one or friend. In my experience, having both of my parents pass and numerous friends and associates pass over the years the answer for me is accepting that this is the way that it was meant to be. It does not mean that the loss is not felt as much or that you are setting it aside it just means that all things in time. I think it is human nature to think we can control more than we actually can and through will power or some other human power we can change any of this. With acceptance, I have found strength and know that "Soon enough", it will be me. Such is life.

[AzPaul]

Originally Posted by Barbara_C

now at 75 she is alone again....im going to go see if she needs help. Life can be so cruel....at any age

In the months right after a spouse is lost, there is usually a good deal of support from friends and loved ones, but those calls and drop-bys start to lessen as time passes. The reality is, we live in a world where couples tend to mingle with couples, so suddenly being a single often leaves a widow separated from her old circle of friends and unconnected to any other group. Loss is hard enough, but for most of us, that pain starts to ease with time. Lonelinesss, on the other hand, just gets worse with each passing day.