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7 October 2010, 08:27 AM | #1 |
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Canadian Schools, 1960 vs. 2010
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1960- Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack. 2010 - School goes into lockdown, the RCMP are called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers. Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1960- Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2010 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario: Jeffrey won’t sit still in class, disrupts other students. 1960- Jeffrey is sent to the principal’s office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 2010 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra provincial funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1960- Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. 2010 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Government psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist. Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school. 1960- Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock. 2010 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons. Scenario: Pedro fails high-school English. 1960- Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college. 2010 - Pedro’s cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Canadian Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against provincial school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover Canada Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill. 1960- Ants die. 2010 – Canadian Firearms Centre and the RCMP are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. CSIS investigates parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny’s dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him. 1960- Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing. 2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.
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Member #1,315 I don't want to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol IS a solution! |
7 October 2010, 02:19 PM | #2 |
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1960 - I pooed in my pants... sent home changed my undies and back at school next day
2010 - School is locked down by health authority, kids are ordered to stay home for 1 week, I get sent to therapy and counselling |
7 October 2010, 02:45 PM | #3 |
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Lol alot of truth in those. As a 21 year old who is a product of the Canadian school system in the 2000's (grauated high school in 07) I'm well aware that all of my elders walked 10 miles to school each way in blizzards I've never before seen, entirely uphill, only to arrive at school to be promptly physically disciplined by your highly strict teacher and then sent home to once again receive the belt. But it made you better in the long run. How am I supposed to become a functional member of society with such a soft upbringing? Oh well, might as well give up now.
:) that is my reverse version of your post, all in good fun. |
8 October 2010, 01:56 AM | #4 |
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I know this is the joke section of the Forum but what Al says is basically true today!!!
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SS GMT-II 16710 PEPSI(Z-serial#) THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THE TOYS!!! MontBlanc Meisterstuck Doue Silver Barley MontBlanc Meisterstuck Solitaire Doue Signum Proud Card Carrying Member of the Curmudgeons.....Yikes!!! |
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