An acquaintance's description of Old Country Buffet . . .

[Sperry]

Once a year, MrsDoc gets a strange desire. A large variety of low quality, sodium rich, unkown infectious laden hot lamped food. Old Country Buffet. It happened last night. After 4 weeks of stomach issues, no solid foods and 3 ER vists, she declared celabratory health victory with a resurgence of OCB desire.

This was also in the same conversation that started with her wanting to go out and have a really good steak. So I was excited, till OCB reared its salt licked head. We ended up at OCB. I went to battle the overweight, gluttonous hethen at the food troughs first. As is my custom I head to the salad bar first, NEVER a crowd there. Ever. I also figure lowest risk of contamination, be it ever so meager.

Now I'm a meat eater, evolution has rewarded me with that right/responsibility and I must have some. I pick up various bits of said product as I weave my way through a sea of sweat pants, moomoo's and last years Walmart fashions. Like a pirate ninja, ya you read that right. A pirate ninja appears out of no where, claims victory in whatever task AND you get to witness him.

I weilded tongs, spatulas and ladles with great skill and dexterity leaving behind a sea of mouth breathes turning in circles trying to comprehend how someone could have fit through the 4 foot gap between them and their culinary target of intrest as they leaned to and fro making headway towards their desire.

My disgust for OCB was justly rewarded during my first guantlet run (made 2 total to the bewilderment of our waitree having never seen someone only make 2 trips). I passed the salmonilla shower, or to laymen the chocolate waterfall. A young kid, let's say he may have recently come from a southern country by crosing a river or desert, was partaking in the afore mentioned dessert monstrosity.

Was he gingerly dunking a variety of items, safely on skewers, into his object of affection? Nope, this 10 year old was standing their with his teenage sister and dunking his hand into the shower and licking his fingers off, repeatedly.

Did anyone working there stop him then remove the now contaminated food and go explain to his parents what he did. Nope, they turned a blind eye till it was pointed out to them. Their response? Try to explain to a kid who didn't speak English how to use the skewers and walk away. I pointed out how he still didn't grasp the concept as he used the same skewer over and over eating off it.

My table line of site allowed me to watch the putrid roiling flow of filth throughout our brief stay. I was tempted to get up once as I saw a yogapants wearing (didn't know they made those pants that big) breeder and her young daughter attack the waterfall with gusto. I had a vision of explaining what I had witnessed and her choice of nutritional sustinace might not be wise.

Then I noticed the amount of nearby patrons with chocolate skewers hanging out of their gaping mawls and piled on side plates. I had a vision of making a return run through a gauntlet of diseased skewers, angrily stabbing at me grasped in greasy sausage shaped fingers for ruining their dream of pure decadent fufilment. I sat back and did nothing, disgusted once again.

This morning has been eneventful in regards to gastro intestinal fears. Hope it remains the same.

I shoot green tip because I'm eco-friendly.

[Xenophon]

Errr

[powerfunk]

Originally Posted by Sperry

he may have recently come from a southern country by crosing a river or desert

Wow. Just wow.

[MonBK]

Why did you even go there?

[ELITEVIDEOGAMES]

Interesting post, I believe the OCB may have given you mad cow disease however.

[Sperry]

Ha! Glad you like it! No, I do not to buffet counters.

I posted this from another forum. Thought the guy made one or two humorous points on human nature, including his own. Very sorry if it offended you..

[77T]

He's eloquently and equally offended many groups of people, albeit without the aid of a spellchecker, and then joined the club which he disdains.

[nickb732]

i honestly found this pretty funny, please don't flame me... the spelling mistakes were indeed atrocious considering he was criticising another person's standard of english...

[Sperry]

Originally Posted by nickb732

i honestly found this pretty funny, please don't flame me... the spelling mistakes were indeed atrocious considering he was criticizing another person's standard of english...

You know what? As I have been loosing weight, and with my history of stomach ailments after eating restaurant or country fair food [the last bout tied me up FOR THREE DAYS . . . Delmarva Chicken Festival, was that you?], I found it disgusting, but at the same time, a good reminder of why I do not eat at any place that caters to the "all you can eat" crowd.