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Carolina · 22 April 2009, 06:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by away36

Oh! Sorry Caroline. I just assumed you already knew!

Glad the you and the kids had fun!!!

Oh I do - I just delude myself into thinking others don't notice sometimes!

away36 · 22 April 2009, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

Oh I do - I just delude myself into thinking others don't notice sometimes!

Delusion is good. It ranks right up there with denial!

Caroline, truth be told........you're "A#1 Awesome"!!!

Carolina · 22 April 2009, 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by away36

Delusion is good. It ranks right up there with denial!

Caroline, truth be told........you're "A#1 Awesome"!!!

Right back atcha!

Lisa · 22 April 2009, 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

Ah yes! And you know, June is a darling young lady. I have a cute and cuddly 6 year old little boy... just sayin'!!

Yes, he IS cute, and I know his mama is raising him up right. I bet he'll even pick up his own clothes and help in the kitchen.

Might just be enough to turn ol' "Mike" around.

Carolina · 22 April 2009, 06:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

Yes, he IS cute, and I know his mama is raising him up right. I bet he'll even pick up his own clothes and help in the kitchen.

Might just be enough to turn ol' "Mike" around.

Does she really like to be called Mike? That's hysterical!

Rockrolex · 22 April 2009, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

Ed, you could handle the prenup!!

Sure I can.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

Are you saying there is a chance, through marriage, I can be realted to Ed.

Now that will be culture shock.

Right now I am having visions of sitting out on the veranda, drinking 15 year old Springbank single malt, talking about world issues with my new daddy.

No you can't. Or are you going to marry a 6 year old, dirtyoldman1957?

Lisa · 22 April 2009, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

Does she really like to be called Mike? That's hysterical!

Nah, I just made that up. She's definitely all girl. She likes being called June Bug the Moon Bug.

redshirt1957 · 22 April 2009, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockrolex

Sure I can.

No you can't. Or are you going to marry a 6 year old, dirtyoldman1957?

Are you and attorney? No dummy, one of my kids is going to marry one of your grandkids and we will be spending a lot of time together talking about the new good old days.

Carolina · 22 April 2009, 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

Nah, I just made that up. She's definitely all girl. She likes being called June Bug the Moon Bug.

Well, that is awfully cute!

Max likes it when I call him snugglebuttons. I'm enjoying the fact that he still lets me do that.

Rockrolex · 22 April 2009, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

Are you and attorney? No dummy, one of my kids is going to marry one of your grandkids and we will be spending a lot of time together talking about the new good old days.

I have one granddaughter and if you think I'm letting her within 100 miles of your doublewide, think again. She's much too innocent for the likes of your hooligan.

Actually, by the time she's old enough, she will likely be New York sophisticated. Are you sure you want someone like that in your family?

And by the time she's old enough, you and I will be too senile to know what's happening anyway.

redshirt1957 · 22 April 2009, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockrolex

I have one granddaughter and if you think I'm letting her within 100 miles of your doublewide, think again. She's much too innocent for the likes of your hooligan.

Actually, by the time she's old enough, she will likely be New York sophisticated. Are you sure you want someone like that in your family?

And by the time she's old enough, you and I will be too senile to know what's happening anyway.

Okay, I am crying 'cause I am LMAO. You know, one of us is senile now.

Rockrolex · 22 April 2009, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

Okay, I am crying 'cause I am LMAO. You know, one of us is senile now.

Yeah, but do we know which one?

And will you stick to this topic here and not make me chase you across other threads. It's getting tiring.

redshirt1957 · 22 April 2009, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockrolex

Yeah, but do we know which one?

And will you stick to this topic here and not make me chase you across other threads. It's getting tiring.

I asked the voices in my head and it was tied, two to two.

away36 · 22 April 2009, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

I asked the voices in my head and it was tied, two to two.

Nice change from a two-four.

Lion · 22 April 2009, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

Well, that is awfully cute!

Max likes it when I call him snugglebuttons. I'm enjoying the fact that he still lets me do that.

Yes, enjoy while you can because that won't last. Wait till he tells you to quit fussing over him and no more kisses in public!!!

East Bay Rider · 22 April 2009, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

Are you saying there is a chance, through marriage, I can be realted to Ed.

Now that will be culture shock.

Right now I am having visions of sitting out on the veranda, drinking 15 year old Springbank single malt, talking about world issues with my new daddy.

redshirt1957 · 22 April 2009, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by East Bay Rider

Makes sense to me.

Now, that was funny.

away36 · 22 April 2009, 07:32 PM

Mornin' all! Just spent the last 40 minutes enjoying the caffeine and the chuckles, now it's time to get ready to go and play nice with the big kids again! Hope you all have a super day!!!

redshirt1957 · 23 April 2009, 01:24 AM

Where are my favourite twins today?

Jimbits76 · 23 April 2009, 01:38 AM

They're right here baby...

Hold on are we talking about my moobs or my buttcheeks?

J

Carolina · 23 April 2009, 01:45 AM

These twins??

redshirt1957 · 23 April 2009, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

These twins??

Well, I guess I meant a pair of twins.

Just like ole' BeefJerky76 to think I was talking about him.

Lisa · 23 April 2009, 04:06 AM

I'm here, too. Speaking of anxiety.... I really need some parenting advice, guys!

Here's the deal: each year, the entire third grade glass at my kids' school goes on a 3 day, 2 night field trip to a campsite about 2 hours away. It's been a tradition since the school's inception in 1963. I'm told that no child has ever not wanted to go, and there is every expectation that every third grader does go. It is a Big Deal and the highlight of third grade.

Well, guess who doesn't want to do this? My 9 year old. For the past year she has worried about this camp, because she doesn't want to be away from mom and dad. There are a number of parents going as chaperones, but not me or Dave. This fear of being apart brought her to tears whenever we discussed the matter. So, okay, although I feel the school placed considerable pressure on Phoebe, Dave and me to require her to go, I resisted because I felt that whatever was causing her anxiety wouldn't be go away if we forced her to do this. It would probably make it worse. So Dave and I talked it over, we talked it over with his parents and his sister (who teaches 3rd grade at another school) and not one of us felt it was the right thing to make her go.

However, unknown to me, this past week her teachers and classmates apparently were making her feel so pressured to attend that she told them she WOULD, and that she had changed her mind. She was just desperate for everyone to leave her alone. However, I didn't know she had decided to let the school think she had agreed to go. She shared none of this with me!

I called her teacher yesterday afternoon to ask if there was any work I could pick up for Phoebe to do while the kids were at the camp. This was how the school found out Phoebe wasn't going. Her cabin arrangements had been made, all her paperwork filled out.... so, we both had some explaining to do and both finally figured everything out.

So, today, the bus left without Phoebe. The school wants me to set up an appointment with the school psychologist. I sort of think eveyone needs to just leave her alone. Though I haven't told her this, personally I'm a little surprised no other 9 year old in the school's history has been afraid to go on the trip. It doesn't seem that abnormal to me.

Any words of wisdom?

mailman · 23 April 2009, 05:12 AM

I agree with you Lisa. Everyone should leave the little girl alone. It seems like she isn't ready to spend the night away from her parents yet. What good will the school psychologist do? I'm not knocking them at all but she is your child and I would think that you would know what's best for her

redshirt1957 · 23 April 2009, 05:26 AM

School psychologist? This person ain't your friend. Tell her to bugger off in a nice way. These types of things are better handled by your child's doctor during a normal visit. I have had good results with talking with the kid's pediatrician, never have the schools been much help other than sticking their noses in our business.

Since this was not mandatory, then if Phoebe did not want to go then it's fine that she does not. Now that the pressure is off she will open up. My thinking is there is a reason, in her mind, that is based on fear, and when she sees her classmates next week she might wish she had gone. Now this assumes that the reason she does not want to go is not serious....like a bully or abusive teacher.

We had the same type of issues with Sydney and she finally overcame her fear of not trusting others and now she is a COA girl. The more you push the bigger the fear gets in a child's mind. It may seem small too us, but to little kids; these fears are real. The only way they learn to overcome fear is to figure out how to deal with it themselves, with our love and security. It takes time.

Fianlly, Phoebe is your child and responsibilty; not some staff member of a school. Remember these events happen in a child's life and our job as parents is to guide them through these time, not to push them against their will. Guess, I agree with you. I did a quick post so no damn smilies!!!! We have had some events in our family and Hope does not want to go anywhere without her mum. Other than school, she is glued to her mum. Guess what, she is with her mum all the time and the issues will work themselves out.

away36 · 23 April 2009, 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

I'm here, too. Speaking of anxiety.... I really need some parenting advice, guys!

Here's the deal: each year, the entire third grade glass at my kids' school goes on a 3 day, 2 night field trip to a campsite about 2 hours away. It's been a tradition since the school's inception in 1963. I'm told that no child has ever not wanted to go, and there is every expectation that every third grader does go. It is a Big Deal and the highlight of third grade.

Well, guess who doesn't want to do this? My 9 year old. For the past year she has worried about this camp, because she doesn't want to be away from mom and dad. There are a number of parents going as chaperones, but not me or Dave. This fear of being apart brought her to tears whenever we discussed the matter. So, okay, although I feel the school placed considerable pressure on Phoebe, Dave and me to require her to go, I resisted because I felt that whatever was causing her anxiety wouldn't be go away if we forced her to do this. It would probably make it worse. So Dave and I talked it over, we talked it over with his parents and his sister (who teaches 3rd grade at another school) and not one of us felt it was the right thing to make her go.

However, unknown to me, this past week her teachers and classmates apparently were making her feel so pressured to attend that she told them she WOULD, and that she had changed her mind. She was just desperate for everyone to leave her alone. However, I didn't know she had decided to let the school think she had agreed to go. She shared none of this with me!

I called her teacher yesterday afternoon to ask if there was any work I could pick up for Phoebe to do while the kids were at the camp. This was how the school found out Phoebe wasn't going. Her cabin arrangements had been made, all her paperwork filled out.... so, we both had some explaining to do and both finally figured everything out.

So, today, the bus left without Phoebe. The school wants me to set up an appointment with the school psychologist. I sort of think eveyone needs to just leave her alone. Though I haven't told her this, personally I'm a little surprised no other 9 year old in the school's history has been afraid to go on the trip. It doesn't seem that abnormal to me.

Any words of wisdom?

You made the right decision! The fact that Phoebe has expressed anxiety about this trip for a year is a clear meausure of the level of her anxiety. I cannot imagine the repercussions had she been forced to go. If she has some separation anxiety issues, then you as parents can talk that over with your family doctor IF you feel the need to do so. If there are some reasons for concern, then you might want to share them with the necessary school officials. For now....it's your call and I applaud your choice!!!

daveathall · 23 April 2009, 05:38 AM

I would be astounded if Phoebe was the first pupil not wanting to attend the outing, but from the way it sounds there has been a great deal of peer pressure put, not only on the children, but on the parents as well, I would more or less guarantee that at least 50% of Phoebe's class felt the same way, but due to this pressure from the school, their class mates and their parents, hid their true feelings, sounds to me like the classic case of a vicious circle.

The well being of a child is paramount, it is natural at an early age for them to still require the protection and comfort of their parents, it is also quite natural for their parents to reciprocate, it wont be that many years before the pressures of examinations and the desire to succeed are upon your daughter, as a mother and parent it is your duty to pave this path to those high pressure times as smoothly as possible.

Children soon grow up, their development time from child to youth to adult still surprises me, it seems that one minute they are tied to their mothers apron strings the next they are in their rebellious teen age years and all to soon they themselves will be parents, it may seem a long way off, but trust me that time will all to soon be upon you.

The enforced absence from her parents IMHO would not have benefited Phoebe in any way, she may have come, in those few days to quite enjoy it, who knows, it could have, on the other hand been a nightmare for the poor child from start to finish, it was your call as a parent.

In my opinion the call you made was the right one, good for you.

Carolina · 23 April 2009, 06:00 AM

Dittoing everyone here. Check your email!

Carolina · 23 April 2009, 06:04 AM

Also, echoing Dave here: I would bet a lot of money that Phoebe, at age 9, is NOT the only child who has not wanted to go. However, she may be the only one that has had the guts to stand up to peer pressure.

away36 · 23 April 2009, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

Also, echoing Dave here: I would bet a lot of money that Phoebe, at age 9, is NOT the only child who has not wanted to go. However, she may be the only one that has had the guts to stand up to peer pressure.

Unfortunately, she didn't Caroline. She was so pressured she let all the teachers and kids THINK she had changed her mind. All the arrangements were made for her. Lisa found out after the fact. Poor kid.

23 April 2009, 01:45 AM	#6051
Carolina "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: North Carolina Watch: it, Bubba! Posts: 6,271	These twins?? __________________ . .Member #5380 .

23 April 2009, 05:12 AM	#6054
mailman TRF Moderator & 2025 Patron Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: . Watch: BLNR Posts: 35,545	I agree with you Lisa. Everyone should leave the little girl alone. It seems like she isn't ready to spend the night away from her parents yet. What good will the school psychologist do? I'm not knocking them at all but she is your child and I would think that you would know what's best for her __________________ JJ

23 April 2009, 05:38 AM	#6057
daveathall "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Dave Location: England. Watch: Various Posts: 7,304	I would be astounded if Phoebe was the first pupil not wanting to attend the outing, but from the way it sounds there has been a great deal of peer pressure put, not only on the children, but on the parents as well, I would more or less guarantee that at least 50% of Phoebe's class felt the same way, but due to this pressure from the school, their class mates and their parents, hid their true feelings, sounds to me like the classic case of a vicious circle. The well being of a child is paramount, it is natural at an early age for them to still require the protection and comfort of their parents, it is also quite natural for their parents to reciprocate, it wont be that many years before the pressures of examinations and the desire to succeed are upon your daughter, as a mother and parent it is your duty to pave this path to those high pressure times as smoothly as possible. Children soon grow up, their development time from child to youth to adult still surprises me, it seems that one minute they are tied to their mothers apron strings the next they are in their rebellious teen age years and all to soon they themselves will be parents, it may seem a long way off, but trust me that time will all to soon be upon you. The enforced absence from her parents IMHO would not have benefited Phoebe in any way, she may have come, in those few days to quite enjoy it, who knows, it could have, on the other hand been a nightmare for the poor child from start to finish, it was your call as a parent. In my opinion the call you made was the right one, good for you. __________________ KINDEST REGARDS DAVE

23 April 2009, 06:00 AM	#6058
Carolina "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: North Carolina Watch: it, Bubba! Posts: 6,271	Dittoing everyone here. Check your email! __________________ . .Member #5380 .

23 April 2009, 06:04 AM	#6059
Carolina "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: North Carolina Watch: it, Bubba! Posts: 6,271	Also, echoing Dave here: I would bet a lot of money that Phoebe, at age 9, is NOT the only child who has not wanted to go. However, she may be the only one that has had the guts to stand up to peer pressure. __________________ . .Member #5380 .

22 April 2009, 07:32 PM	#6048
away36 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Nancy Location: Canada Watch: Vintage Rolex Posts: 3,178	Mornin' all! Just spent the last 40 minutes enjoying the caffeine and the chuckles, now it's time to get ready to go and play nice with the big kids again! Hope you all have a super day!!!

23 April 2009, 01:24 AM	#6049
redshirt1957 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Real Name: Bubba Location: Bitsyville! Watch: Blue YM today! Posts: 10,053	Where are my favourite twins today?

23 April 2009, 01:38 AM	#6050
Jimbits76 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: UK Posts: 9,407	They're right here baby... Hold on are we talking about my moobs or my buttcheeks? J

23 April 2009, 04:06 AM	#6053
Lisa "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: oklahoma city Posts: 15,741	I'm here, too. Speaking of anxiety.... I really need some parenting advice, guys! Here's the deal: each year, the entire third grade glass at my kids' school goes on a 3 day, 2 night field trip to a campsite about 2 hours away. It's been a tradition since the school's inception in 1963. I'm told that no child has ever not wanted to go, and there is every expectation that every third grader does go. It is a Big Deal and the highlight of third grade. Well, guess who doesn't want to do this? My 9 year old. For the past year she has worried about this camp, because she doesn't want to be away from mom and dad. There are a number of parents going as chaperones, but not me or Dave. This fear of being apart brought her to tears whenever we discussed the matter. So, okay, although I feel the school placed considerable pressure on Phoebe, Dave and me to require her to go, I resisted because I felt that whatever was causing her anxiety wouldn't be go away if we forced her to do this. It would probably make it worse. So Dave and I talked it over, we talked it over with his parents and his sister (who teaches 3rd grade at another school) and not one of us felt it was the right thing to make her go. However, unknown to me, this past week her teachers and classmates apparently were making her feel so pressured to attend that she told them she WOULD, and that she had changed her mind. She was just desperate for everyone to leave her alone. However, I didn't know she had decided to let the school think she had agreed to go. She shared none of this with me! I called her teacher yesterday afternoon to ask if there was any work I could pick up for Phoebe to do while the kids were at the camp. This was how the school found out Phoebe wasn't going. Her cabin arrangements had been made, all her paperwork filled out.... so, we both had some explaining to do and both finally figured everything out. So, today, the bus left without Phoebe. The school wants me to set up an appointment with the school psychologist. I sort of think eveyone needs to just leave her alone. Though I haven't told her this, personally I'm a little surprised no other 9 year old in the school's history has been afraid to go on the trip. It doesn't seem that abnormal to me. Any words of wisdom?

23 April 2009, 05:26 AM	#6055
redshirt1957 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Real Name: Bubba Location: Bitsyville! Watch: Blue YM today! Posts: 10,053	School psychologist? This person ain't your friend. Tell her to bugger off in a nice way. These types of things are better handled by your child's doctor during a normal visit. I have had good results with talking with the kid's pediatrician, never have the schools been much help other than sticking their noses in our business. Since this was not mandatory, then if Phoebe did not want to go then it's fine that she does not. Now that the pressure is off she will open up. My thinking is there is a reason, in her mind, that is based on fear, and when she sees her classmates next week she might wish she had gone. Now this assumes that the reason she does not want to go is not serious....like a bully or abusive teacher. We had the same type of issues with Sydney and she finally overcame her fear of not trusting others and now she is a COA girl. The more you push the bigger the fear gets in a child's mind. It may seem small too us, but to little kids; these fears are real. The only way they learn to overcome fear is to figure out how to deal with it themselves, with our love and security. It takes time. Fianlly, Phoebe is your child and responsibilty; not some staff member of a school. Remember these events happen in a child's life and our job as parents is to guide them through these time, not to push them against their will. Guess, I agree with you. I did a quick post so no damn smilies!!!! We have had some events in our family and Hope does not want to go anywhere without her mum. Other than school, she is glued to her mum. Guess what, she is with her mum all the time and the issues will work themselves out.

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