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unclesallie · 24 July 2009, 02:13 PM

well, i see the gang is still here at the Girls Coffeeshop! Greetings from Los Angeles!
i've been up in Beverly Hills having a great time. Today was tough though...I spent most of the day in the pool, except for a few hours outing to 'Thai Town' to pick up some delicious food for dinner tonight. (oh yeah, breakfast at the Beverly Hills Hotel, pretty good pickins for them fancy city folk).

Jim: go for that playwright career! you're young take risks. a second child? i wouldn't right now. Please do ignore my advice!

best to all,
Dan

allanofcalifornia · 24 July 2009, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unclesallie

well, i see the gang is still here at the Girls Coffeeshop! Greetings from Los Angeles!
i've been up in Beverly Hills having a great time. Today was tough though...I spent most of the day in the pool, except for a few hours outing to 'Thai Town' to pick up some delicious food for dinner tonight. (oh yeah, breakfast at the Beverly Hills Hotel, pretty good pickins for them fancy city folk).

Jim: go for that playwright career! you're young take risks. a second child? i wouldn't right now. Please do ignore my advice!

best to all,
Dan

Didn't you go visit Rolex dealers?

Allan

Jimbits76 · 24 July 2009, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by East Bay Rider

Jim, I don't know if this will help or not but here's a short (?) story about my life.
I was 29 when my son was born. I had been at my job for 6 years and was doing just fine. I was content. I was safe.
My son was sick a lot. He had asthsma, ear infections, had tubes installed in his ears twice, strep throat, conjunctivitis (pink eye)... you name it.
My wife changed careers. Since she was new at work, if he was sick, I was the one who stayed home and took care of him. We bought a small house in the same neighborhood as our apartment. Money was tight. I rolled spare change ($700.00) to buy a 25 year old car (it was in ok shape and I could fix it myself) and drove it for 3 years. Through it all I was content. The job was safe, but stagnant. There is no room to grow within this company and because I was so distracted taking care of things at home and doing a good job at work, I ignored my career and put it on the back burner but at the time it was necessary.
Now he's almost 13 y/o and strong and healthy.

The job environment has changed and I have grown as a person. What I was content with years ago I am no longer. I am hungry for more. I am frustrated at the stagnation I endured.

My point is this. Do what ever you need to in order to keep your household thriving. Your family comes first, always. Just don't become complacent and be lulled into feeling safe and warm. Remember your drive, even if you can't act on it right now. In time you may want to act, and you'll be in a great position to do so.
I hope this is relevant to your situation and that it helps.

Thanks Bill. That really puts things into perspestive. I know you are proud of your son, as any father would be but now I see just a glimmer of why he means so much to you.

I admire your candid honesty with your priorities and love for your family.

As I've said before, if I can be a tenth of the parent that folk like Nancy, Lisa, Caroline, Martin, Jim, Dan, Joe and yourself are, I will have done my family proud.

Thank you

J

Jimbits76 · 24 July 2009, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jdc

Jim I think you have so much going on at the moment that you need to stand back and take count. List your priorities and concentrate on the most important things.
Family, very important to make time. A second child will be just as time consuming to you as it will be to Claire. You will never have enough money or time for a second child, its is an emotional commitment and if you are mad you will have three or more. Money cannot buy what they will give.

Your BA or whatever, great go for it if it contributes to your chances for promotion or career development, if it does not ask yourself why you want to do it. Are you chasing dreams that existed in your youth pre family, is this a escape from family realities.

You have plenty of outside interests to justify your good nature. Maybe you are trying too hard to prove yourself.

As Joe said relax, enjoy what you have, you are a good guy loved by many others, learn to love yourself mate

Martin, you probably know me better than anybody here my friend. We'll have a chat about it on the 16th. Thanks

Jim

Jimbits76 · 24 July 2009, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimSnyder

I really need to spend more time here. This is the place that really matters

Quote:

Originally Posted by away36

That would make us ALL happy 'cause you're one of our favourite people, Jim!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimSnyder

Thank you Nancy! Those are very kind words.

Quote:

Originally Posted by away36

How could we NOT like a guy who is so proud of his family AND his pets! It's like hitting the lottery getting YOU in here!

Old Sny is my hero. I'm so proud to have him consider me as a friend. I really hope I get to meet him one day!

J

Jimbits76 · 24 July 2009, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unclesallie

well, i see the gang is still here at the Girls Coffeeshop! Greetings from Los Angeles!
i've been up in Beverly Hills having a great time. Today was tough though...I spent most of the day in the pool, except for a few hours outing to 'Thai Town' to pick up some delicious food for dinner tonight. (oh yeah, breakfast at the Beverly Hills Hotel, pretty good pickins for them fancy city folk).

Jim: go for that playwright career! you're young take risks. a second child? i wouldn't right now. Please do ignore my advice!

best to all,
Dan

We've decided to start trying for a baby so we can have one born in late spring, summer 2011. That gives us enough time to focus on William and get things in order again. Claire would love a summer baby and it would be nice to have birthdays apart for the pair of them.

Of course...it doesn't always work like that.

As for the writing, I think I'm going to put together a screenplay...I haven't written a full screenplay since 2001. I think I'm mature enough to make a proper job of it. I won't put pressure on myself to write so I can devote some time to Claire and William. I have an idea for a one man play but it's sketchy and complicated. I'll think about it more and maybe put a treatment on here to see what you guys think if thats okay!

J

jdc · 24 July 2009, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unclesallie

well, i see the gang is still here at the Girls Coffeeshop! Greetings from Los Angeles!
i've been up in Beverly Hills having a great time. Today was tough though...I spent most of the day in the pool, except for a few hours outing to 'Thai Town' to pick up some delicious food for dinner tonight. (oh yeah, breakfast at the Beverly Hills Hotel, pretty good pickins for them fancy city folk).

best to all,
Dan

glad to hear Dan

and I bet the weather is better than rainy London

away36 · 24 July 2009, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unclesallie

well, i see the gang is still here at the Girls Coffeeshop! Greetings from Los Angeles!
i've been up in Beverly Hills having a great time. Today was tough though...I spent most of the day in the pool, except for a few hours outing to 'Thai Town' to pick up some delicious food for dinner tonight. (oh yeah, breakfast at the Beverly Hills Hotel, pretty good pickins for them fancy city folk).

Dan

You poor thing. What a trooper you are to have suffered through such a day! I've suffered the same way...................wait.......no.........fancy Thai food.....my favourite......did I get that? NOT!....I spent the whole week waiting to get a lousy hot dog that never even materialised!

East Bay Rider · 24 July 2009, 08:54 PM

Mornin' Nancy

Lion · 24 July 2009, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by away36

You poor thing. What a trooper you are to have suffered through such a day! I've suffered the same way...................wait.......no.........fancy Thai food.....my favourite......did I get that? NOT!....I spent the whole week waiting to get a lousy hot dog that never even materialised!

Inquiring minds want to know was the hotdog an all beef frankfurter or a pork by product!!! LOL!!!

away36 · 24 July 2009, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

We've decided to start trying for a baby so we can have one born in late spring, summer 2011. That gives us enough time to focus on William and get things in order again. Claire would love a summer baby and it would be nice to have birthdays apart for the pair of them.

Of course...it doesn't always work like that.

Whoo hoo!!!! How exciting!!

Quote:

As for the writing, I think I'm going to put together a screenplay...I haven't written a full screenplay since 2001. I think I'm mature enough to make a proper job of it. I won't put pressure on myself to write so I can devote some time to Claire and William. I have an idea for a one man play but it's sketchy and complicated. I'll think about it more and maybe put a treatment on here to see what you guys think if thats okay!

J

If it's sketchy and complicated, it must be about old Trainwreck1957. Can't WAIT for the previews!

East Bay Rider · 24 July 2009, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by away36

Whoo hoo!!!! How exciting!!

If it's sketchy and complicated, it must be about old Trainwreck1957. Can't WAIT for the previews!

For mature audiences only.

I guess that leave US out.

away36 · 24 July 2009, 09:04 PM

Mornin' Bill. Happy Friday. Going to be a busy day for me. I've just got today and tomorrow to get all the last minute stuff done for the bridal shower I'm hosting. Need to pick up a few last minute grocery things and hit a department store for a few gift items.....oh....and the liquor store....these gals like their wine!

Hope the day treats you well. You're definitely one of the "good guys" and really deserve it!

away36 · 24 July 2009, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lion

Inquiring minds want to know was the hotdog an all beef frankfurter or a pork by product!!! LOL!!!

If I ever make it to this new place I want to go, I'll let you know!!

East Bay Rider · 24 July 2009, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by away36

Mornin' Bill. Happy Friday. Going to be a busy day for me. I've just got today and tomorrow to get all the last minute stuff done for the bridal shower I'm hosting. Need to pick up a few last minute grocery things and hit a department store for a few gift items.....oh....and the liquor store....these gals like their wine!

Hope the day treats you well. You're definitely one of the "good guys" and really deserve it!

Don't forget to pick a few things up in the dairy aisle. You know it's not a party without whipped cream.

Lion · 24 July 2009, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by away36

If I ever make it to this new place I want to go, I'll let you know!!

Will you buy it as a Chicago style hotdog or Coney Island???

away36 · 24 July 2009, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by East Bay Rider

For mature audiences only.

I guess that leave US out.

Isn't THAT the truth!

away36 · 24 July 2009, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lion

Will you buy it as a Chicago style hotdog or Coney Island???

I can't tell you Leo, 'cause I don't know what either of those are!!!

away36 · 24 July 2009, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by East Bay Rider

Don't forget to pick a few things up in the dairy aisle. You know it's not a party without whipped cream.

The only thing that'll be whipped by the end of that party will be ME!

Carolina · 24 July 2009, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by away36

I can't tell you Leo, 'cause I don't know what either of those are!!!

Mmm, Chicago style is good! Leo can elaborate, as I don't recall the specifics, but I know I liked it!

Carolina · 24 July 2009, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Thanks Bill. That really puts things into perspestive. I know you are proud of your son, as any father would be but now I see just a glimmer of why he means so much to you.

I admire your candid honesty with your priorities and love for your family.

As I've said before, if I can be a tenth of the parent that folk like Nancy, Lisa, Caroline, Martin, Jim, Dan, Joe and yourself are, I will have done my family proud.

Thank you

J

OK, come visit my home and then say that same sentence without laughing!

Besides, you are selling yourself short...

jdc · 24 July 2009, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

OK, come visit my home and then say that same sentence without laughing!

Besides, you are selling yourself short...

x2 no perfect parents on this forum I can assure you, cause there is not such a thing, we all muddle through the best we can

away36 · 24 July 2009, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jdc

x2 no perfect parents on this forum I can assure you, cause there is not such a thing, we all muddle through the best we can

No kidding!! I still have to shake myself out of the "if onlys" and my kids are all in their 30s and 40s!!!!

Lisa · 25 July 2009, 12:14 AM

Jim, it sounds like you're getting some big decisions figured out, with some very exciting goals in place. Of course there are doubts and some second-guessing - but there's something to be said as well for rising to the occasion - Dave went back to school to change careers completely 15 years ago because he could no longer deny that drive inside that told him to challenge himself.... it involved lots of upheaval, moving three or four times, and along the way we started our family... looking back it's hard to believe we survived, especially at times when the going was particularly rough. Finally, after his training was complete and he started his new career (a 12 year long journey, more or less) we thought we were settled in to our lives... and then accidently got pregnant with our third baby....

One thing in our situation that I must say - his training/career DID, and still does, interfere with his time with the kids. It was hard for me, as well, to take on raising the babies nearly single-handedly. I think I would have done a little better, attitude-wise, if I could have accepted that he would not be involved in their lives as much as I had expected.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's a certain amount of planning and calculated risk in life, but some real zingers usually get thrown in along the way that are totally beyond our control...

Jimbits76 · 25 July 2009, 12:41 AM

Thanks Lisa.

I've been thinking about this for a week or so now. I think I mighht be guilty of putting too much pressure on myself.

I think I'll just wait and see. Claire and I have had big discussions and we kind of agree that any additional pressure right now might be a bad move. Nothing to do with the marriage or us, I think it could be bad for me!

Mentally, I think I'll just let the wind catch my sails and see where I drift for a little while.

J

away36 · 25 July 2009, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

I might be guilty of putting too pressure on myself.

J

Ya THINK?????????

Jimbits76 · 25 July 2009, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by away36

Ya THINK?????????

Oh shush you...where would you be without your lil English Dramaqueen?????

J

away36 · 25 July 2009, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Oh shush you...where would you be without your lil English Dramaqueen?????

J

Hanging out at the Doublewide watching old LostLove57 pining away away.

Jimbits76 · 25 July 2009, 01:48 AM

Friday...the only day the old loon works

J

redshirt1957 · 25 July 2009, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbits76

Friday...the only day the old loon works

J

And I am tired after the one hour of work, which is only a meeting. Damn, where is my blue pill, Red Bull, and Vitamin M!

24 July 2009, 08:54 PM	#7929
East Bay Rider "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Real Name: Bill Location: East Bay RI Watch: GMT-II 16710LN Posts: 12,093	Mornin' Nancy __________________ I bought a cheap watch from the crazy man Floating down canal It doesn't use numbers or moving hands It always just says "now" Now you may be thinking that I was had But this watch is never wrong And if I have trouble the warranty said Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On J. Buffett Instagram: eastbayrider46

24 July 2009, 02:13 PM	#7921
unclesallie 2024 ROLEX SUBMARINER 41 Pledge Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Real Name: dan Location: Pennsylvania Watch: keystone pocket Posts: 5,917	well, i see the gang is still here at the Girls Coffeeshop! Greetings from Los Angeles! i've been up in Beverly Hills having a great time. Today was tough though...I spent most of the day in the pool, except for a few hours outing to 'Thai Town' to pick up some delicious food for dinner tonight. (oh yeah, breakfast at the Beverly Hills Hotel, pretty good pickins for them fancy city folk). Jim: go for that playwright career! you're young take risks. a second child? i wouldn't right now. Please do ignore my advice! best to all, Dan

24 July 2009, 09:04 PM	#7933
away36 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Nancy Location: Canada Watch: Vintage Rolex Posts: 3,178	Mornin' Bill. Happy Friday. Going to be a busy day for me. I've just got today and tomorrow to get all the last minute stuff done for the bridal shower I'm hosting. Need to pick up a few last minute grocery things and hit a department store for a few gift items.....oh....and the liquor store....these gals like their wine! Hope the day treats you well. You're definitely one of the "good guys" and really deserve it!

25 July 2009, 12:14 AM	#7944
Lisa "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: oklahoma city Posts: 15,741	Jim, it sounds like you're getting some big decisions figured out, with some very exciting goals in place. Of course there are doubts and some second-guessing - but there's something to be said as well for rising to the occasion - Dave went back to school to change careers completely 15 years ago because he could no longer deny that drive inside that told him to challenge himself.... it involved lots of upheaval, moving three or four times, and along the way we started our family... looking back it's hard to believe we survived, especially at times when the going was particularly rough. Finally, after his training was complete and he started his new career (a 12 year long journey, more or less) we thought we were settled in to our lives... and then accidently got pregnant with our third baby.... One thing in our situation that I must say - his training/career DID, and still does, interfere with his time with the kids. It was hard for me, as well, to take on raising the babies nearly single-handedly. I think I would have done a little better, attitude-wise, if I could have accepted that he would not be involved in their lives as much as I had expected. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's a certain amount of planning and calculated risk in life, but some real zingers usually get thrown in along the way that are totally beyond our control...

25 July 2009, 12:41 AM	#7945
Jimbits76 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: UK Posts: 9,407	Thanks Lisa. I've been thinking about this for a week or so now. I think I mighht be guilty of putting too much pressure on myself. I think I'll just wait and see. Claire and I have had big discussions and we kind of agree that any additional pressure right now might be a bad move. Nothing to do with the marriage or us, I think it could be bad for me! Mentally, I think I'll just let the wind catch my sails and see where I drift for a little while. J

25 July 2009, 01:48 AM	#7949
Jimbits76 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: UK Posts: 9,407	Friday...the only day the old loon works J

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