Girls Coffeeshop Talk

[chicfarmer1]

Fantastic response, Bill. I had something typed to say but it came out wrong.

In short, to Lisa, a hug of support and an assurance that you work crucial magic each and every day in your lovely girls' lives. That is where your satisfaction and focus will have to be, if the other can't be improved upon. (I'm strongly in favor of trying to improve it, though. I prefer to think that change for the better is possible.)

[Lisa]

You both make good points... however, having known this guy for 28 years I can tell you what is possible and what is not. Results may very - indeed.

Bill, you mention the dad wanting to help out when his wife is pregnant - painting the nursery, assembling the crib.... guess what. He did none of this (he also doesn't take out trash or mow the lawn, but that's another story...). He's never gotten up at night with a baby. Not once. The neighbor put the crib together for me while husband was out mountain biking. It was two weeks before my due date and I was tired of asking my husband to help. I'd bought him a book about parenting (fathering, to be exact, while I bought myself the mothering version) and he never looked at it. I knew nothing about what to do with babies. I had never babysat or even changed a diaper my entire life. I had never even HELD a baby until a few weeks before when the nursery nurses at my job found that out and made things right. So we started at about equal footing.

I could rant for several pages but that would be poor form.

[East Bay Rider]

Sorry Lisa.
When I typed that I had 2 particular guys I know in mind. It caught my attention and so I remembered their circumstance. It's a shame. Thing is they don't even know they're missing out. Kids are a trip.

[chicfarmer1]

Some people actively limit their own emotional lives. It's analogous to saying, "I don't need to experience that kind of love. I have some love already and it's enough." The upside isn't clear to that person, and isn't that sad.

Of course, any marriage has some immovable objects in it. Something bigger and better has to be visible in order to decide it's still worth it. If that is there, then we fit inside the limitations, or else we truly manage to change our expectations.

[Peppers90]

Maybe I shouldnt have brought up my kids- Lol! I don't want to start a firey thread. Haha

On a lighter note, I found my mid size Rolex!! Should be posting some pics soon ;)

[Lisa]

J, I have a hunch you counsel for a living....

Bill, don't apologize... you must find it hard to understand, if not a bit unbelievable.

Every now and then I just have to let off a little steam. There are many positives to focus on, and until the negatives outweigh them, we'll keep on keeping on.

[chicfarmer1]

Originally Posted by Peppers90

Maybe I shouldnt have brought up my kids- Lol! I don't want to start a firey thread. Haha

On a lighter note, I found my mid size Rolex!! Should be posting some pics soon ;)

Oooh, I wanna see! Congrats!

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Peppers90

Maybe I shouldnt have brought up my kids- Lol! I don't want to start a firey thread. Haha

On a lighter note, I found my mid size Rolex!! Should be posting some pics soon ;)

No worries - these guys know me by now and it's therapeutic.

Glad you found the watch and I'll be looking for pics.

[Lion]

Originally Posted by Lisa

Yeah, but they've got to use them. Bill, do you find it hard to believe that there are dads out there who really would rather let their wives take care of the kids so they can sleep, watch TV and pursue their hobbies? This is a serious question, mostly!

Lisa, I always feel so bad for you and the girls having a husband/Dad who doesn't participate much.....I thoroughly enjoyed being a Dad and getting involved with all of Ben's activities. Now I want to be a grandfather.....in the worst way.....but as of yet.....nothing!!!

[Lion]

I know many men do not get very involved with their children's upbringing and activities as they grow up. I was a house Dad from when Ben was four until he went off to college. I had a great time being there for him and wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world.....his friends when they would come over thought I was really cool but a little "meshuggener"!!!

[Lisa]

Anyhoo... on to more enjoyable topics.... J and Shannon, could you give me some recommendations on a quality, rugged, leather hobo/slouch style bag? I really do need to be thinking about a new one. I love my old Lucky and wouldn't mind finding a NOS one exactly like it (see pic) but something similar would be nice, too. I don't mind spending a little more on a good brand, but I am definitely NOT into displaying logos/brand names.

Thanks!



PS - also interested in Made in USA, as always... off to browse some sites.

[Peppers90]

Lisa- I also like Lucky brand, Hobo International, or maybe Fossil.... Check eBay and you can possibly find a handmade version. I got a fabulous brown suede backpack on eBay that was hand-made in the USA.

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Peppers90

Lisa- I also like Lucky brand, Hobo International, or maybe Fossil.... Check eBay and you can possibly find a handmade version. I got a fabulous brown suede backpack on eBay that was hand-made in the USA.

Thanks! I'm finding that some of the small saddle shops produce pretty cool looking bags. Being from Oklahoma, I can get away with cowgirl style - hand-tooled leather kinds of things. I like the look of a lot of it, but it can get kind of tacky if you're not careful.

[chicfarmer1]

That's a really cute bag, Lisa. I'll have to give this some thought for recommendations.

A style that's popular right now is the schoolbag messenger type, and Fossil has cute versions of it. (Caveat, good leather but not USA made.) I like the looks of their "Vintage Reissue" line. Here's one that's got the rugged thing going on:

http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/f...LinkType=PDPZ1

And another that's more like the classic equestrian/hunting shot bag:
http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/f...LinkType=PDPZ1

[Peppers90]

Planning on posting some pics of my mid size tomorrow--whohoo!
I guess the "Rolex General Discussion" is the correct thread?

Posted my first pic of lady DJ with my son in the Rolex pics thread- I am still learning
where to post ;)

Oh Lisa- I was browsing eBay, and there are several of your exact Lucky bag for sale......

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Peppers90

Planning on posting some pics of my mid size tomorrow--whohoo!
I guess the "Rolex General Discussion" is the correct thread?

Posted my first pic of lady DJ with my son in the Rolex pics thread- I am still learning
where to post ;)

Oh Lisa- I was browsing eBay, and there are several of your exact Lucky bag for sale......

The general discussion area is the perfect place to post pics - I'll be sure to look for it. So exciting!

I spotted two of the bags like mine on Ebay and have them on the watch list... I'll need to search a couple of different ways. I've never liked a purse so much I bought two of the exact thing - but this bag has been perfect for me and it still gets compliments, even though it's faded and stained. I got it as a diaper bag/carryall when my almost-5-year-old was born, and it's still going strong.

J, I checked out the Fossil bags. They are nice, but I always get annoyed at the big flaps! I like the bags that open at the top, either via zipper or snap. You may soon find that I am annoyingly picky about bags. Might be why I only own one at any time.

Heh... thread idea... is your bag and your Rolex a balance?

[Peppers90]

Haha- there is nothing wrong with being picky. I went thru several "diaper bags" to find one that was functional yet dressy. I ended up buying a Brompton bag from JCrew. It has a turn lock closure at the top and a zipper- great for the pacifier/ burp cloth.
Purses are so personal, just like watches- I like your thread idea ;)

Has anyone been to Jackson Hole WY? My husband went skiing there last winter ( I was still nursing couldn't go). He said it was the most beautiful place- His bday is next month. He is not into fashion (doesn't even wear a watch), so I was thinking about getting a framed photo of some wildlife from Jackson Hole..... what do you think?

[chicfarmer1]

Ok no flap. Got it. You're right to be picky; we live with these things.

There are other Fossil styles that could work, including ones in nice colors.
Would you rock a drawstring?
http://www.fossil.com/en_US/shop/wom...Path=ZB5034407
---

That is a great birthday idea, Shannon. Haven't been there but have heard from many people that it's one of the most beautiful places in the US.

[East Bay Rider]

Check Zappos for a bag.
I bought a big bag for Wendy at Christmas for which to carry her lunch, umbrella and purse all at the same time in one hand and her laptop bag in the other. Not sure how she carried her travel mug...
Naturally, she returned it - too small.
Anyway Zappos has a ton of bags. Maybe there's one you'll like.

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by East Bay Rider

Check Zappos for a bag.
I bought a big bag for Wendy at Christmas for which to carry her lunch, umbrella and purse all at the same time in one hand and her laptop bag in the other. Not sure how she carried her travel mug...
Naturally, she returned it - too small.
Anyway Zappos has a ton of bags. Maybe there's one you'll like.

Heck, you tried.

Zappos is where I got my current Lucky bag. I'm a big fan of that place. Thanks for the suggestion.

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

Ok no flap. Got it. You're right to be picky; we live with these things.

There are other Fossil styles that could work, including ones in nice colors.
Would you rock a drawstring?
http://www.fossil.com/en_US/shop/wom...Path=ZB5034407
---

That is a great birthday idea, Shannon. Haven't been there but have heard from many people that it's one of the most beautiful places in the US.

That's attractive. I like the teal color.... I could do a drawstring.

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Peppers90

Haha- there is nothing wrong with being picky. I went thru several "diaper bags" to find one that was functional yet dressy. I ended up buying a Brompton bag from JCrew. It has a turn lock closure at the top and a zipper- great for the pacifier/ burp cloth.
Purses are so personal, just like watches- I like your thread idea ;)

Has anyone been to Jackson Hole WY? My husband went skiing there last winter ( I was still nursing couldn't go). He said it was the most beautiful place- His bday is next month. He is not into fashion (doesn't even wear a watch), so I was thinking about getting a framed photo of some wildlife from Jackson Hole..... what do you think?

And this world of handbags and purses is pretty foreign to me. That's why I asked you gals about brands.

I jokingly mention the thread idea because a looong running version has been here at TRF... but it's titled "Is (sic) Your Vehicle and Your Rolex a Balance?"

So, what's considered the Rolex of handbags - yet, a bag that is durable, good looking, functional and appropriate for a late 40s-tees-and-jeans low-maintenance mom? Is there such a thing?

Jackson Hole is one place my husband says we need to visit as a family. His aunt and uncle used to run a canoe rental business there, so he visited a few times during the summers when he was a kid. I think your photo idea is very nice.

[chicfarmer1]

Originally Posted by Lisa

A
So, what's considered the Rolex of handbags - yet, a bag that is durable, good looking, functional and appropriate for a late 40s-tees-and-jeans low-maintenance mom? Is there such a thing?

Sadly, there certainly is. Hermes is the Rolex (or frankly the Patek) of handbags, and their flagship bag is the Birkin. Not sure if it's appropriate, but stupid expensive. It is entirely handmade in France. There are more moderate and less famous bags by Hermes that would fit the profile better, but they are also very spendy. Like the Massai Cut: comes in 2 sizes, low key, durable. Zip top. (Pic attached is not my bag.)

Oh, and you'll love this: You can't actually walk in and buy the two most sought-after Hermes bags, the Birkin and the Kelly, at the Hermes store. There is a complicated and difficult ritual, just short of getting a secret tattoo and winning an archery competition.

[Lisa]

J, some of this was alluded to in the recent handbag thread.... mystifying to an outsider like me.

9K for a bag is.... amazing. Admittedly a double standard, but I don't mind shopping at Target with jeans, tee, flip flops and Rolex, but carrying an astonishingly expensive bag would make me feel like.... well, silly. Sort of like... hmmm... wearing an ermine coat with sweats and running shoes. Which I have witnessed and which I think says "I know I'm casual and carefree but everyone still needs to know I have piles of cash."

[Peppers90]

^^well put chicfarmer!!. The Evelyne is also a good possibility, but does
have that perforated H on the front. I use mine as a diaper and travel bag.

[chicfarmer1]

I hear you, L. Hermes is starting to seem appalling even to its most dedicated collectors. The problem is, worldwide demand for all luxury goods enables these prices. I have a modest Hermes bag that I'm fond of and is super functional, but not horrifying. It looks like a glorified, or not even that glorified, LL Bean tote.

Shannon, the Evelyne is a great bag. And someone can always face the perforation toward themselves, if they don't want that "H" visible. My bag's a toile and black Buffalo Garden Party, the MM size. I like the Evelynes too because of the great color choices and the sporty look.

[Peppers90]

I just sold one of my Hermes bags to purchase my 2nd Rolex!! Yikes!

[East Bay Rider]

We have a Coach outlet about 30 miles from my house. My wife likes Coach as they wear well.

[Peppers90]

Lisa~

Here is one of my favorite Hermes bags. It is a canvas and box leather "Kelly" bag. The name Kelly is from Grace Kelly- she used the same style bag in the 1950s. I can carry this with jeans and a white t, or dressed up for a party. And, my bag is 30 years old. Great craftsmanship~ just like Rolexes. And, no logos everywhere too.

[Peppers90]

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

I hear you, L. Hermes is starting to seem appalling even to its most dedicated collectors. The problem is, worldwide demand for all luxury goods enables these prices. I have a modest Hermes bag that I'm fond of and is super functional, but not horrifying. It looks like a glorified, or not even that glorified, LL Bean tote.

Shannon, the Evelyne is a great bag. And someone can always face the perforation toward themselves, if they don't want that "H" visible. My bag's a toile and black Buffalo Garden Party, the MM size. I like the Evelynes too because of the great color choices and the sporty look.

I just posted my toile and black Kelly. It is a great combo isn't it? Classic, yet can be casual too.